Gronks and Donks Trash Talk Bonanza!

/95 Comments/in , /by

Been a huge week of activity, from the shutdown/default can down the road kicking, to new FISC apologia, to the stunning announcement of a new media venture. So, a lot of stuff, so to speak. Also, my retained palm tree trimmers think my palm trees are too unruly and nasty for their “talents”. Say what you will, the last item is really troubling.

Anyhoo, I hear there are sports afoot this weekend. Let us start with the lead on the title of this post, the Gronk. The Gronk is back baybee! And that means we must celebrate the return of the Gronk jesus. Since those nasty Patriots up and cut Baby Jesus. Brady has basically been pulling shit out of his ass with Julian Edelman and a cast of nobodies. Smurf Amendola still out and proving exactly how valuable Wes Welker really was (hey, even Giselle must want him back by now), but with Gronk back, maybe, just maybe, the Pats can still take the Jets, Jets, Jets. I think they can make Rex suck on Gronk’s toes!

Okay. On to the other NFL games and things of note. Apparently Adrian Foster of the hapless Houston Texans has decided NOW is the time to market his football career via an IPO stock offering. Gosh, I am no Goldman Scrotum Sacks level genius business expert, but maybe when your team sucks ass so bad you are turning to, effectively, your taxi squad quarterback, and the local fans think that is the only possible excitement in sight…maybe you are not an IPO genius. Just saying. And i say this with all love and due respect for our long time friend and matey, teh Gulf Coast Pirate. Arrrrrr, don’t but that there stock matey!

The Iggles will ride Nick Foles again with Michael Vick on the injury bench. Foles was down in the hated Old Pueblo of the Arizona Wildcats for 2.5 years, so I know him well. Kid has a great arm, and lots of natural talent. Never read off coverages so good, and is nowhere near the “mobile” quarterback Chip Kelly relishes. That said, he may well have NFL level talent, but as far as I have ever seen, it is as more of a classic drop back QB. We shall see. I actually think Matt Barkley is a better leader, but who knows what Kelly will do in Philly. If you ask me, Kelly’s QB is not yet on the Eagles.

In memoriam, last rites must be given to Bad Eli and the Lost Gents of The Meadowlands. On a far happier note, HUGE congratulations to our good friend Pachacutec who was able to finally get married thanks to the rapidly un-bigoting of these here United States. I have never been more happy for a betrothed couple. Salute! Unfortunately, the Giants will still suck this year; though there may be a wedding wedding gift from the Vikings if Adrian Peterson is not so pissed and charged up he rambles for 350 yards.

Oh yeah, Gronks at Jets is actually a game. I know the Mistress of the Distressed Song will be along to carp about how Pretty Tom and his band of Edelmans can not POSSIBLY beat Rex Toesuck and the Jets, but I don’t buy it. The Tom and Gronk Show is more fabulous. In other Big Mitten news, the Kittehs should put the Bungles in the litter. Browns are a semi-real deal, but not in Lambeau. Bears and Skins are a pick em. Chefs look to have home cooking. Oh, yeah, about those Donkos in the title of this post. Peyton going back to Indianapolis. Irsay trying to get in Peyton’s giant head. Who will win that? Um, think I will take Peyton’s big head and the Donkos over Irsay’s idiocy. Luck is a keeper, but not this time. Enjoy the Donkos (okay jackasses) in the Canyon music attached hereto.

In the Semi-Pro league, Florida State versus Clemson is by far the class of the offering. Game is prime time and in Clemson’s Death Valley home. Still, I am hard pressed to not pick the Seminoles and their wonder child QB Jamels Winston in an upset. Really tough call; Tajh Boyd is pretty much the match, more experienced, and at home. I have bad misgivings about this, but have a hunch the ‘Noles are on a roll. The Washington huskies are going to be the final straw for the ASU Sun Devils. Game is at Frank Kush Field, but i won’t be there. Huskies are good; Sun Devils an anomaly. Pick em.

As I write and post this, it looks like the Cardinals are cleaning out the Bums, 6-0 in the 5th. for good in Busch Stadium. Bye bye Bums, that pissing in the DBack’s pool was bad karma for you. Who couldda knowd? The Sawx are up 3-2, and have the last two games of the ALCS at home in Fenway. Still, the Tiger’s pitching is a problem. Tigers are coming with Scherzer and Verlander in games 6 and 7. Bad ass stuff there. Sawx counter with Buchholz and Lackey respectively. Not the star glitz of the Tigers’ pitching aces, but not bad at all. In Fenway, if the Sawx can’t win one of the two, they don’t deserve the pennant.

There you go. Let your hair down and trash this post with all your swerve and verve.

Continuing Shutdown Resolution Shakedown Trash Talk

/58 Comments/in , , /by

Whole lotta nothing going on in the nation’s capitol. Guess that is not exactly news, but, still, it seems extra fubar currently. Ah well, what to do? Rock and roll baybee. And trash talk, of course. Seriously, as I look up at my TeeVee right this instant, Ralph Reed is on CNN blowing some perverted shit out of his ass. Really, Ralph Freaking Reed. It is just stupid out there. On MSNBC, Alec Baldwin looks like he is sitting in a Chicago steak/chop house yammering with some twit I don’t immediately recognize. Oh, wait, it is Bill de Blasio, the soon to be chameleon new mayor of New York. Is he a Weatherman anarchist from the 60s or a neo-liberal from the present?? Who knows? Who cares? He will be far better than Mayor Bloombito, so teh New Yarkers are gonna have that going for them. Let’s play games.

Gotta start with the pros this week. Lot to talk about, but first off I would like to not that right now, the ‘Ole Geezer, Mr. Brett Favre, could play quarterback this Sunday better than what service the Bucs, Jags, Vikings and Giants at a minimum. And, arguably, maybe the Raiders, Bills, Cardinals and Steelers too. He is rested. And he is ready. And he is way more fun than the others. Bring back the FavRuh.

In case my lead has not exactly engrossed and hooked you, I guess we can talk about actual games. If we must. Okay. Here we go….I must admit I am strangely perplexed by weird games lately, as we are still early in the season and the wheat has not yet completely separated from the shaft. Well, except for STRONG ARMED PEYTON MANNING AND THE DONKOS! While Bieber Brady is still looking for his next hairstyle, Happy Faced Peyton is rolling. As long as Peyton keeps a Jockey’s Neck Like Bollocks, he could obliterate very sacred records this year. We shall see.

So, back to the offbeat games of interest. First up is Deetroit trying to shakedown the Brownies in the Dog Pound. Who are teh Kittehs? Hard to tell, but they need Megatron to tell. And he is questionable (though I expect he suits up and plays, like the stud he is). But Cleveland has a sneaky good defense, and there is some momentum in mistake by the lake land. If Brandon Weedon can get the Brownies offense 28 points or more, they well could win. But you have to figure Matt Stafford and Reggie Bush can put up that.

Steelers at Jets, Jets, Jets is another goofy game. Steelers can’t be as bad as they have shown so far, can they? Actually, maybe. And the Jets are a tougher D than some they have faced so far. This is a gut check game; if Big Ben and Stillers have any game at all, they will bring it. They might; but I am not betting on it. Cheese at Ravens is also interesting. League is sleeping on both right now, even though Baltimore is the defending Super Bowl champ and GB is, well still the Pack. Both seem still unsettled and adjusting to huge losses. Ravens lost by retirement and players moving on. Pack has lost by injury mostly except for Greg Jennings, who they let leave. Jennings ain’t the problem, the injuries are. This is a pick em, whoever wants it more will win.

The super rejuvenated Saints, and man have Sean Payton and Rob Ryan turned that gig on a dime, roll into Foxborough to meet the Pats. Later in the year, with a little more gelling, Bill Bel, Major Tom and the Whoevers win this game at home. Not right now though, Saints and Drew Breeeezz got to much jazz. And on Sunday night, we got Skins at the ‘Boys. Will take a heroic effort from RG III to win this; I think Romo will cut the bad edge off of last week’s disappointment.

In the student athalete category, seems like a somewhat quiet week. Guess the biggest interest is whether or not Mack Brown can pull a jackrabbit out of his ass, er hat, and upset Freepatriot’s Boomer Sooners. If not, Mack may get knifed by the time that giant schooner can roll a circle. Game is in Austin though, so there is that. PolitiFact Check rates this: Orange Crushed!

ESPN and some other cackling birds are clucking about Mizzou at the Dawgs in Athens Georgia. Nuh uh. Aaron Murray and the Hounds got WAY too much for the Tigers. Florida at LSU may actually be the best real contest of the day. Gators starting to live a little now that Driskel the water pistol is down for the count. Still, the Tigers in Baton Rouge in a big night game; gotta take the Po Boy home cooking there. Also the ‘Ole Ball coach and the Cocks are going to Sooo-eee-pigeeee land in Ar-kansas. The okies from Muskogee were not cool with those wheat stalks on the Kansas license plates, so they seceded and called if Our Kansas. Or, if Old McDonald spelled it, Arkansas. Or something. Am tempted to take Brett Bielema and the Hogs here. Just because. But I can’t, South Carolina is just a better team. Fighting Journalists may have a tough time in Camp Randall Stadium with teh Badgers. Would be brutal to lose two in a row after such promise, but Wisconsin is a decent team and is at home.

This weekend is the Japanese Grand Prix at Suzuka. Which used to be a penultimate and deciding race in the Circus schedule, but no longer. And no drama at this point, it is another Vettel and Red Bull year. Hard to be excited, I am, however, excited about next year and the new car specifications.

Also, baseball. Sadly, the Pirates got keelhauled by the Cardinals in the deciding game 5 of the Divisional Series and are out. Hopefully the Dodgers claim the Bum status of old and win the NL. As to the AL, hard to pick between the Tigers and Boston. Both great teams, both a lot of fun and interesting. But gonna be a Detroit Breakdown, so……Go Sawx!!

That is it folks. Shut it down baybee!

McCaffrey the MilleniaLab’s Trash Talk

/161 Comments/in , /by

[This week’s Trash is by an esteemed guest poster, McCaffrey]

WOOOFFF!!

Hi there fine humans that inhabit and visit this here blog! My name is McCaffrey, and I allow Mr. and Mrs. Wheel to live with me in my house. Now, much like the grand Norma Desmond, I have always been “ready for my closeup”. And, baybee it came today! Like butter, I am on a roll.

Yes, you probably have seen by now the feature story on meeeee that Newsweek Magazine came out with today. Yes yes, there was also mention of my mom, Emptywheel, but I was the star of the show. All teh bitchezz are gonna want to date meeeee! Also, I LOVE jerky and pizza.

Well, enough about me, I hear we are supposed to talk trash here. I love talking trash. Even more, I love rummaging through trash. Oh, wait, I am getting word that is a different kind of trash. Jeez, all these rulz. Alright, let’s see what is up then.

One of my favorite people in the world is my lawyer, bmaz (he gives me jerky! WOOF!), has his Sun Devils down in Texass at the Jerry Dome to play the Blighted Irish. But, no, that is not the biggest game. The biggest student athlete game is the Fighting Journalists of Northwestern, versus those pernicious Sweatervests from THE Ohio State University. This is the biggest game in Evanston in a very long time and I think even the ESPN Game Day crew is there. OSU is a favorite by 7 points on the current line. I am pulling for the Journalists, but wouldn’t bet real money on them.

The other tilt of note is the aforementioned ASU Sun Devils and Notre Dame. Number 22 ranked ASU is 4-1, with their only loss to Stanford on the road. The Devils had an abysmal first half, but outplayed the Tree in the second half. Still got whacked. Hard to tell if ASU is for real or just lucky (and man were they lucky against Wisconsin). The Irish have two losses and fell out of the top 25. Still, their losses were to Michigan and Oklahoma, both nationally ranked teams. I have no idea what will happen in this game, but it should be a great one to watch. Also interesting is the late night Saturday Pac-12 conference matchup of Washington and Stanford. The Huskies have a nice team this year under Steve Sarkisian (who may well bolt next season for his old haunts at USC), but they don’t have enough to overcome the Tree.

In the Pros, we have already seen the Browns move to 3-2 with a win over the Bills on Thursday night. But they lost their sparkplug Brian Hoyer for the year to an ACL injury. Brandon Weeden, who had lost the starting job to Hoyer will have to lead them now. He did well against the Bills though. Game of the weekend has to be the Lions at Lambeau to meet the Cheese. Good luck with that, the Kittehs are 0 for their last 22 visits to Titletown. Don’t think the breakthrough is coming this year either. Lot of noise about Denver in Dallas, but, man, Peyton is on fire. Dallas has always been a thorn for Peyton, but hard to see it this year.

McCaffrey rawhide receiptSeattle at the Colts should be a great game. Lot of folks had the Colts dropping off this year, but they are really good once again. Luck versus Russell Wilson. Game on. Both teams have great QBs and both have punishing running backs. Indy is good on D, but I think Seattle is enough better to carry the day. Pats at Bengals could also be a good game. Bill Bel and Brady are getting their groove back though, so I will ride with them (also, they are Mom’s team, so WOOFF!!) Iggles at Giants….Hahahahahaha, jeez who cares anymore? Chefs at Titans also could be decent game. I’m going to take Alex Smith and Andy Reid here, they are just too steady.

This weekend is also the Korean Grand Prix. Yeongam is not a bad circuit, especially considering the boys just escaped the ugly Marina Bay in Singapore. Vettel and Red Bull already pretty much have the crowns locked up, the jousting behind them is all there really is of interest left. And Alonso looks pretty firm in second place for that matter. By the way, Sebastian Vettel is turning into a bit of a consistent dick. Weather outlook is improving from possible typhoon status, but still could be dicey.

And, finally, baseball. Divisional playoffs are in full swing, and all the series are looking interesting. Hard not to root for the Pirates.

Well humans, that is it for my guest star role here. Remember, I LOVE cute girl dogs, pizza and jerky! Oh yeah, the music, ahem, what else did you think a black dog would play??

Real Deal Exit the Sandman and Mom Rock and Roll Trash Talk

/61 Comments/in , /by

Errr, some of you may have seen some illegitimate Trash Talk on a so called “Stub”. Illegitimate stuff. Please disregard the same. It was perpetrated by a “perp” that thinks Tom Brady Porn is teh awesomenest. Not sure that last word is really a word, but I’m gonna roll with it. Man, I tell ya, this job is hard work, hard work I tell ya. Also, to get the stain out of your brain, I am immediately referencing some classic real music. And for good reason: Sandmans and moms. This will be explained in due course, but please take a listen to the music.

More than that, let there be real football talk. Okay, Madam Wheel may have had some good shit actually:

And I’m going to admit ahead of time that BillBel is playing games with injury reports heading into Atlanta.

Also, Da Bears-Kitties game will come down to whether Stafford can find someone besides Megatron to throw to, with Nate Burleson out.

Also, I think Stillers will beat Matt Cassell (!)’s Vikings under Big Ben.

Okay, granted, I didn’t say it was a lot of good shit. Just a little. And as to the Stillers, man, I dunno, that is a fair fight. Given the respective O-Lines, Cassel may for a game be equal to Big Ben. And Cassel has one hell of a lot better running back. I might be tempted to give this turd of a game to the “home team”, but the thing is being played in London. Where, hopefully, they don’t give a shit about two once proud, but now joke, teams.

The Pats are at the Dirty Birds. Will Gronk play? Will Beavis and Butthead show up two weeks in a row to catch passes from Major Tom Brady wi9thout Gronk…or any other person you ever heard of other than Edelman? Yeah, inquiring minds want to know. But the Dirty Birds are tough in their dome home, think they may win this one. Who is more pathetic, the Skins or the Rayduhs? Yo, right, dead heat there. Jeebus, what tough times for proud brands.

Eagles in Mile High against Peyton’s massive arm, which is just starting to warm up? Fuhgettaboutit. I’d take the Fins if it was in South Beach, but in the Super Dome, take the Krew from Nawlins. Maybe the best game is Bears at Deeetroit. Lions I think they call them there in BK City. People yammer about how great and awesome Jay Cutler has been this year. but he has not been shit compared to Matt Stafford. Take a real look. I am rolling with Stafford, MegaTron and company at home against Da Bears.

Enough of this, let’s look at the students. Who are also athletes. But only marginally human for settlement purposes in craven class actions run by assholes. I have done a lot of things for a living as a lawyer, but never class actions. Not because I wouldn’t, just because I have not. That said, it seems often completely greasy. All deserve their day in court, and love the people that give it to them. But sometimes you have to wonder who the real winners are, and here it is certainly not the athletes.

So, on to the games, since the rest is depressing at best. Best game of the day is Georgia at LSU. I was surprised that the Dawgs whipped the Cocks on opening weekend. But the game is in Atherns, not the bayou. If you look at the paper, it seems no contest, Dawgs all the way. Don’t be fooled though, LSU is every bit the match, and if the game was in the Baton Rouge, I would be tempted to take LSU. But this game is in the Dawgpound. I will take the home boys, but it is that close.

The Sooners of our once and always friend, Freepatriot’s, love take on the Blighted Irish of Notre Dame. But the game is in Domerland, not on the Prairie. Frankly, I do not trust either of these teams. So, I will roll with the one at home. NOT! I will take the wagon circling Schooners in a road upset. If ‘Ole Miss were not in Tuscaloosa, I might be tempted to take them over the Tide. Nope. If the Badgers were in Cheeseland against the Sweatervests of THE Ohio State University instead of Columbus at the Horseshoe, I would be tempted to take them. But nope. There is not that much else out there that is exciting on the front end before they play the games.

No F1 this weekend, and the “America’s Cup” between two boats full of Aussies and Kiwis has ended (I have no idea where the fuck “America” was in the equation, other than it took place in a bay of San Francisco).

So, a word about the music and the Sandman. They are interrelated. The greatest reliever of all time, Mariano Rivera, is retiring. Indeed, had his farewell ceremony at Yankee’s Stadium Thursday night. By a sad coincidence, our good friend Spencer Ackerman’s mother, who was a consummate Yankee’s fan, passed away just before Mariano Rivera’s walk off the storied mound in the Bronx. I only wish that I had had the pleasure of meeting Spencer’s mom. Maybe even more, I wish my mom had had the opportunity. They were unique women in a time before that was necessarily quite so acceptable to see or admit. Heroes. And I will leave it at that. Mine is long gone, but Spencer’s loss is real; he is in my thoughts, and I hope yours.

With that, on somewhat melancholy note, we wrap up the Trash for this week. From very long ago- I think – I recall that Spencer’s mom had a thing for Jackson Browne’s music. So, we led off with that. We close with, as the Yankees did for Mariano Rivera, Enter (or Exit) the Sandman by Metallica. Number 42 for the Yankees is, and was, in a league of his own. It is fitting that he is the last player to wear the number 42 after it was retired for Jackie Robinson. No two men have ever worn a number better. Let 42 now rest and live in perpetuity as the mark of greatness.

A Stub for Trash Talk

/13 Comments/in /by

<iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/9ufwukWgKfI” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe>

This is actually just a stub for trash talk that I expect (hope?) bmaz (and if not bmaz, then Rosalind) will fill, as soon as they see I loaded up the Brady Pron.

But scribe says he needs to trash.

And I’m going to admit ahead of time that BillBel is playing games with injury reports heading into Atlanta.

Also, Da Bears-Kitties game will come down to whether Stafford can find someone besides Megatron to throw to, with Nate Burleson out.

Also, I think Stillers will beat Matt Cassell (!)’s Vikings under Big Ben.

Anyway, won’t be long now before bmaz rushes in to stop the playing of this video.

The America’s Cup Comes Home

/21 Comments/in , , /by

[EW: Rosalind stole the keys! Awesome!!! Uh. Ut oh.]

Looks like Mom and Dad have been so consumed with all-things NSA they went and left the keys to the joint right out in the open. I better write fast.

8-1.

One week ago the America’s Cup standing stood at New Zealand eight wins, USA one (they actually had three, but more on that later), with first team to reach nine the champion. Everyone – everyone – hoped the US boat could eke out a couple more wins before the Kiwis got that inevitable last win and took the Cup back home. Oracle skipper Jimmy Spithill had other plans, calmly proclaiming his team focused on winning not just the next race, but the Cup itself. The World politely smiled and nodded, while rolling our eyes. Dude, c’mon, you’d need to reel off eight sudden death wins in – a – row.

I attended the Opening Weekend races and watched New Zealand take 3 out of 4, but what I saw in those races should’ve prepared me for the amazing feat Oracle was about to pull off. The US boat could’ve won two more of those opening races if not for some bad tactical decisions and poor boat handling during key tacks and gybes. The Kiwis had the faster boat upwind, but Oracle was faster downwind. If they could improve the tactical and stabilize the maneuvers, they had a real chance to get back into things.

They replaced the tactician with 5-time Olympian Ben Ainslie, got the new crew in sync, made tweaks to the boat night after night, and started to win. Every race. Every day. The World stopped smirking and the thousands along the San Francisco waterfront went wild as the US boat now stretched out its leads on the upwind legs thanks to whatever engineering tweak magic the techs had made.

(A moment to address the, uh, cheating thing: Oracle started the series in the hole -2 races due to a cheating incident with their AC45 boat in an earlier series. I can’t believe they were so stupid, and they deserve what they got, which was a 2 point race penalty, and the removal of their wing trimmer four days before the start of the series. Add in Oracle owner billionaire Larry Ellison’s uncanny ability to come off like a Bond Villain sent straight from central casting, and well, it can lead to rather fantastical musings – “That’s it! An Oracle sub with a magnet pulled the US boat upwind!”)

In today’s final the Kiwis got the jump at the start, rounding the first mark ahead while Oracle buried their bow and dropped their speed. They recovered, gave chase and took the lead, which New Zealand grabbed back, then USA pulled ahead. And then came Leg 4, a downwind leg, and Oracle put on their jets, shifted into a whole new gear and left the Kiwis almost 700 meters behind. From there the US boat just had to stay in one piece.

My sailing friends and I have long dreamed of an America’s Cup series on the San Francisco Bay, and the reality has surpassed even our highest hopes. A gorgeous natural amphitheatre, miles of shoreline to watch up close, scary-fast boats that fly across the water and along the waterfront, so close the crowd and crew are able to feed off each others energy.

I celebrate the Oracle team for pulling off one of the most incredible sporting comebacks in history. I salute the New Zealand team for a great run and the Kiwi fans for being the nicest, funniest, fervent fans this side of Middle Earth.

And I raise a toast to the City of San Francisco and the America’s Cup Organization for showing what a true public and private partnership can reap, how beautiful public spaces can be used to great effect and benefit for the public.

To the thousands of fans who flocked to the City, and the happy hotel owners and cafe managers and taxi drivers et al, meet you back here in a few years!

Start of Fall Trash Talk

/66 Comments/in , /by

The summer is in its last throes and fall is officially here on Sunday. And with football season hitting its stride, it really does seem like fall. Let’s see what we have going on with teh student athletes this week.

A lot of Wheelhouse denizens will have interest in the big Sparty Domer tilt. Unlike last year, it looks like Michigan State has the dominating defense and Notre Dame has to rely on offense. Neither one of these teams is likely as good as people think they are, but someone has to win. Game in South Bend, so smart money probably is on ND. Can’t do it though, Sparty in an upset. There is a lot of interest in the Stanford ASU game for some reason, but man, after seeing them last Saturday up close and personal, the Devils are just not that good. The Tree is going to shed points all over ASU in Palo Alto. Tennessee might take the Gators in Knoxville, but not in the Swamp. Kansas State at Texas will be interesting because KSU has a bad habit of beating the Whorens – five times in a row. Dunno if Mack Brown can survive if he loses this game. Stay tuned!

Probably won’t be on in much of the country, but I have a morbid curiosity about the Jets and Bills battle of the rookie quarterbacks. The Jets may not be quite as dysfunctional as everyone thought, but EJ Manual looks like a better bet than Geno Smith. Edge to the Bills. I suppose the best matchup is probably Texans and Ravens, but hard to care about it. Packers and Bengals is maybe the most potentially exciting game on tap. Cinci is good, but…..Aaron Rodgers you know. Close game, but I’ll take the Cheese. Cardinals are a decent club actually, but son’t have enough for the Saints in Nawlins. Especially with Spidey Fitzgerald and Mendenhall hurting. Niners are apparently going to let their errant driving linebacker Smith play and should be able to contain Luck and his new back, Trent Richardson; although it may be a close game. Go Stillers!

F1 is in Singapore. I hate Singapore. Lot of people love Singapore and Marina Bay under the lights, but not me. Brad Spurgeon has a good rundown – and he likes the gig at Marina Bay, check it out. The big news of course is that Felipe Massa is out at Ferrari for 2014 and the prodigal Iceman cometh back. Kimi Raikkonen is to be paired with Fernando Alonso next year and that ought to be, um, interesting. Especially if the new equipment is as good as is rumored.

The Yankees look dead and there are still some exciting wildcard races in play. Chat em up. Thought it was time for a nice country song this week, and Honey Honey’s Angel of Death is simply superb. Give it a listen.

WestFest All Ireland Donkey Derby Trash

/70 Comments/in /by

Okay, our prickly friend out in the desert claims that he can’t put up the trash thread this weekend. Something about work (uh-huh) and an invitation to go tailgating (more believable). And I’m thrilled to get the opportunity, because this weekend features one of the most awesome sporting events of all time, the long-awaited appearance of Lynch’s Gang in the WestFest All Ireland Donkey Derby. Behold the greatness:

[youtuber youtube=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8N_-sVnyWCc’]

We bring you nothing but the best here at Emptywheel. And with our head blogger holding dual citizenship in the US and Ireland, how can we not bring you a YouTube featuring a live donkey inside an Irish bar with a drunk Irishman hugging the donkey while shouting incoherently? Almost as good as “With a Neck Like a Jockey’s Bollocks” Trash. I am forever indebted to Iona Craig for tweeting a link to this video earlier in the week.

I can guarantee you that my Gators will not embarrass themselves with another loss this weekend. They have a bye this week and definitely need time to regroup after their horrible outing against Miami. I have no idea how Will Muschamp has taken an offensive coordinator (Brent Pease) who was among the best in the country when he was with the Smurf Team and got him to produce an offense that is a predictable yawner that never puts downfield pressure on the defense. Maybe we’ll get lucky and Texas will dangle big bucks to bring Muschamp back to Austin after they fire Mack Brown.

Among the teams without byes this week, the premier game is Alabama visiting Texas A&M with some revenge on their minds. Johnny Football had quite the off-season and got himself the huge slap on the wrists from the NCAA of missing the first half of the first game after he was caught signing thousands of items for sports memorabilia vendors. But that puts Johnny in the family mold; it turns out that he comes from a multi-generational family of grifters. Somehow, with credentials like that, you have to expect that he and Sarah Palin will team up at some time in the future.

But when the game gets started, I don’t expect it to be nearly as close as the pundits are predicting. A&M has put up pitiful numbers for their defense so far this year, giving up tons of yards and points to mediocre opponents. ‘Bama’s offensive line struggled a bit against VaTech, but don’t look for the Aggies to provide any resistance to Bama’s run game. Heck, Bama will also complete some long passes, so look for this game to pretty much over by halftime.

Elsewhere, Marcy’s Wolvereenies have Zip (that’s an Akron joke) for competition, so don’t bother watching that one.The game bmaz will be attending could be pretty good, with his Forkers taking on a B1G Badger team. That should be a very close and entertaining game. Look for the Forkers to pull it out late. And even though we SEC types get roundly criticized in these here parts for scheduling cupcake teams early in the season, I would be remiss not to point out that Peterr’s Fightin’ Journalists are whopping 30 and a half point favorites over Western Michigan.

And now some words from the head blogger:

Apparently Jim and bmaz figured they’d make me write the Old-and-Pro part of this post just to make me write about what a horrid display was put on last night by the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets versus Tom Brady and one 5’9″ receiver, Julian Edelman. I mean, sure, there were other receivers suited up for the Pats, but they mostly just dropped the ball. Over and over and over. Thankfully, the Pats D is not so bad as it has been of late, and they were able to hold off an improving Geno Smith (who threw 3 picks, but at least, unlike Sanchez’, they were mostly pretty, albeit underthrown, picks) for an ugly win.

Speaking of D, that’s what the game between my Kitties and bmaz’s Cardinals is going to be about. Because both teams have had great D of late, both teams now feature a decent QB with an elite receiver (though Spidey Fitz has an ouchy hammy). It’ll just be a question of which team gets to the QB more. Ultimately, though, I’m gonna predict a Kittie win in the desert, based on Reggie Bush (who had a better game than Adrian Peterson last week). It’s not just me who noted how much Bush improves the Kitties: the best all purpose back ever thinks the Kitties could win the NFC North if he stays healthy.

Elsewhere in the NFC West, this year’s most watched rivalry kicks off between the Niners and the Squawks. I love watching both of these teams. But I’m gonna pick the Niners — not because Kap will play better than Wilson, not because their D will out-hit the Squawk’s D, but because Niners have already figured out that you win with Anquan Boldin.

Which brings us finally to the game of the week, Manning Bowl in the Meadowlands. A guy who tied an NFL record for TD passes last week (yeah, I still think he’ll look noodle-armed by the end of the year) against a guy who looked like shit (but almost pulled out a win anyway). If this game were later in the year — and Jason Pierre Paul had more time to heal and Peyton’s arm had more time to burn out — I’d give it to the home team. But not this weekend. Eek. Peyton for the win.

Fund Unchained Journalism of Emptywheel: It’s All Because Of You

/24 Comments/in , , , , /by
[Note from Jim: There have some issues with the PayPal buttons taking you to PayPal’s main page instead of the page set up for Emptywheel donations. Please use the link below and it will give a functioning button. On my machine and browser, though, you have to click the button and stay in the same browser tab for it to work. If you do “cntrl-click” to open in a new tab, you get the main PayPal home page. If there are any issues, please let us know. If you prefer snail mail, checks made out to “Emptywheel, LLC” can be mailed to this address:Emptywheel, LLC
P.O. Box 1673
Grand Rapids, Michigan 49501-1673Thank you one and all, you are the best readers an supports on the web!]

Okay, the Emptywheel blog has run a fundraiser for a week now. For the most insightful, deep weed analyzing, cutting edge and kick ass journalism on the web.We continue to need your support.

We started this ask a week ago, and I should know because I agreed for it to start just ahead of my Trash Talk post at the open of the NFL football season a week ago last night.

But I am going to extend the ask for a short time; such as through the weekend, because it is a more than worthy effort. And it will stay on top of this blog until some time Monday with the hope that the Emptywheel model is kickstarted, so to speak, further into success. Please, help us make it so by going to this page and donating.

If there is a more neutral, deep fact based, deeply analytic, independent and proven insightful blog, or voice than Ms. Marcy T. Wheeler, better serving the relevant niche, than this one, I would like to see it. Whether you are on the right or the left, this blog is incredibly valuable for its depth and consistency of analysis.

The lioness share of this history is by Marcy Wheeler and she alone deserves the support; but you also get the cogent analysis of Jim White, Rayne and, every now and then, me. I won’t speak for my own, but the rest is damn good work. And worthy of your support as a critical voice, whether you agree or disagree with us politically, legally, and/or policy wise.

We need your support as independent journalistic voices in the mass media milieu. Make no mistake, your support of all of our work here helps establish all of us as protected and respected journalists, and we are thankful for the same.

If you are reading this, you either know, or should know, precisely what level of outstanding journalism goes down daily on, and at, the Emptywheel blog.

As they say in my business, there is a certified record. And it stands up. Help us keep up that record, and add to it, with all that is going on in the world every day.

It is not about us. It is about you, and all of us, and what we should and can be. Support this journalism. From me, to Marcy, to Jim, to Rayne, to everything that is, and always has been, the Emptywheel blog, thank you.

Some people get squashed crossing the tracks
Some people got high rises on their backs
I’m not broke but you can see the cracks
You can make me perfect again
All because of you

We can help check the government in its tracks, help fill the gaping cracks. The Emptywheel blog is indeed all because of you. True independent journalism, not bought off by anybody in the main; not subject to any corporate ball and chain. Real independent deep analysis, reportage and journalism.

Help us continue the tradition.

You can donate here.
Thank you!

Rumble at the Big House Trash Talk

/119 Comments/in , /by

[As a reminder, it is fundraising week Chez Emptywheel. Please help support our work if you can.]

[special Live Update From the America’s Cup below]
We are only a week into real football and already there is a blockbuster game on tap. The Fighting Irish are going up the country to visit the Big Blue Bo Merlots at the Big House. Lotta B’s in that sentence, but it is hard to give these two teams A’s! (Thanks, I will be here all week, enjoy the veal). Well, at least this game is not in the ignominious class of the 2007 game, which was a scintillating battle of unvictorious and untied loser teams. So, there is that.

Now, what should we expect when expecting this mammoth matchup? For one thing, some great trash talking! And, man, there has already been some prime trashing going on behind the ESPN Gameday set in Ann Arbor. Check out the sign this guy has to greet the blighted Irish:

Play like your girlfriend is real today

Hahahahaha, oh man my side hurts. As an extra bonus, the Game Day folks were just discussing the Arizona v. UNLV game, and all picked “Rich Rod’s team”. The boos from the Michigan cognoscenti about shook the earth at the mention of Rich Rod. Some bonus trash from the Big Mitten: Michigan coach Brady Hoke slams Johnny Football by saying the reigning Heisman winner wouldn’t even be starting were he on the Big Blue. Whoa! Also, Notre Dame, in apparently the only way they could find to show that they can rock and roll, have added Bon Jovi’s kid as a walk on cornerback on their roster.

Since the NCAA put in their overtime rules, I guess someone has to win this game. My friend Armando (who weekly does a series of picks at Talk Left) has the Domers and the 4 points. Naw, Big Blue all the way baybee! Also on tap today is Jim White and Armando’s Florida Gators hooking up in South Beach with the Miami Hurricanes. This game is far from what it once might would have been, but still could be good. Canes in a big home upset. The other really sweet matchup is South Carolina at Georgia. Clemson clocked the Bulldogs in the first week. Hard to see the Dawgs going 0-2 to start the year, but I am rolling with the ‘Ole Ball Coach and his Cocks.

Well then, off to the NFL we go. The only game of note in the pros is The Cheese versus The Niners. Is san Fran as good as they looked last year? Does Colin Kaepernick have too many weapons now that he has Anquan Boldin to go with Vernon Davis and Frank Gore et. al? Who in the world is playing on Green Bay’s offensive line at this point and what will the Pack do for a QB when Aaron Rodgers gets his clock cleaned because of that porous O-Line? This REALLY pains me to say it, but Niners roll at home.

Couple of other pro games of note, namely the Sunday and Monday Night games. SNF is the Gents at the Owboys. Jerry Jones says he is so excited he has insomnia. Think Good Eli will show up to give Jerry indigestion too? Not me, nope this is early in the season and the Cowboys will dredge up some more usual hollow hope for the hometown. But they play again, and Eli will own that one. On MNF we have teh Iggles at the Skins. The much awaited debut of the Chip Kelly Quack Attack run by Mike Vick in the NFL, and the return of the rebuilt RGIII. This is a very tough call. Slight edge to Skins because they are at home, Kelly needs time to have his offense gel and Philly’s defense is a question mark. If vick stays healthy and productive though, watch out. A real sleeper game is the Cardinals at the Rams. Both teams are WAY improved. Watch out for Larry Fitzgerald now that he has Carson Palmer instead of a string of scrubs throwing to him, and the Card’s defense should be solid once again.

Lastly, this weekend is the Italian Grand Prix. There are a few MUST watch races on the Formula One calendar, and Monza is at the top. It always is, but there may be weather Sunday, which could seriously skew things and turn it into really compelling theatre. I was up for qualifying this morning and am sad to report the Red Bulls, led by Sebastian Vettel, have locked out the front row. Nico Hulkenberg surprisingly got his Sauber into P3, with Felipe Massa and Fernando Alonso in P4 and P5 respectively. The buzz everywhere is that this race, at effectively Ferrari’s home track, will likely decide Massa’s future. Out qualifying Fernando is a good start, but the result is what will matter. Massa is almost certainly driving for his future in F1 at all with Kimi Raikkonen’s potential return to Maranello lurking. The one thing in Massa’s favor is that Alonso wants no part of Kimi returning to the fold. Should be an interesting race and it goes off at 8:00 am EST on NBCSports.

THIS JUST IN: SPECIAL LIVE UPDATE FROM THE AMERICA’S CUP RACE!

ACRace 2This is from our very own fearless Emptywheel Roving Reporter Rosalind, hot off the wires!

“Greetings Wheelies! it is I Rosalind, Roving Reporter. The Emptywheel
assignment editor forced me to spend the weekend in San Francisco. Temp in the 80s, clear blue skies, giant boats flying across the water. Good times.

When we last met, I was waxing rhapsodic over the America’s Cup Sailing races finally coming to San Francisco, one of the most perfect natural venues for a sailboat race. Alas, Larry Ellison, Mr. Oracle, as defender of the Cup got to chose the new boat design and went with a radical new approach: giant catamarans with towering fixed wings that can go really really fast – 50 mph fast – but are wickedly unstable in the SF Bay conditions.

ACRace 3Two destroyed boats and one crew member’s death later, the official America’s Cup finals kicked off today, after a summer Challenger series where the only suspense was which boat was gonna break down first. Truthfully. I really wanted to blow off this trip, but you know how stern the EW taskmaster can be. So here I am, in glorious weather surrounded by tourists from around the World and SF citizens from all about and happy happy shopkeepers loving the influx of customers. The races are free to all, just head to the waterfront and pick a spot. Grandstands free for the public are near the Marina Green.

ACRace 4A relative treated me to a reception last night at the St Francis Yacht Club where the Italian engineers responsible for figuring out Computational Flow Dynamics made a lot of sense for why this new Wing technology will have other applications and is a great advancement, but they had an open bar and well, I’ll have to get back to you on that one….

The New Zealand boat looked scary good today, the boat was just flying over the water. The Oracle boat looked off its game from the get go. They lost a crew member over the side per-race, and it went down for, there. They had a rip in their Wing that they patched with Duck Tape (hee…h/t EW)

Races 3 and 4 tomorrow (Sunday).

That is it for this sporting weekend ladies and gents. There are a plethora of games and things to talk about, and let’s get to it in comments. Music this week by, of course, a Michigan man, Bob Seger and his Silver Bullet Band, with the classics Travellin Man and Beautiful Loser. Wonderful tunes if you have not heard them in a while.