As I write this, the House is adjourned until 8:00 pm Eastern, which is when futile voting can begin again. Somewhere H.L. Mencken said that he didn’t mind paying taxes, because every morning he would read the newspaper and laugh his head off at the dullards in Congress. And Twitter is carrying on this tradition watching House primates throw poop at each other.
One thing is clear: the Republicans did not win a majority in the last election. The Democrats won 212 seats, the Republicans won 201, give or take 1, and the Burn It Down Party won 20 seats. Kevin McCarthy, that craven toady, has proved no one can negotiate with the BID Party; and that’s for the best, sane people don’t negotiate with terrorists.
So here’s my solution: the Rs elect Hakeem Jeffries and let the Ds run the House. In return, the Ds agree to take all reasonable steps to marginalize the BID Party members. No committee seats, no earmarks, no rides on military aircraft, no post offices, no flags flown over the Capitol, and anything else suggested by the Elders of the party, Jim Clyburn and Nancy Pelosi.
Pearl-clutching pundits insist that the Democrats must clear up this absurdist drama. I’ll pitch in: How about bringing back Bob Livingston or John Boehner? Maybe check the back bench: is Louis Gohmert available? How about an outsider, like, say, George Santos? And thinking outside the box, how about Brett Kavanaugh?
This is an open thread. Please feel free to post your favorite tweets, toots, articles, etc. and make your own jokes. As an example, here’s a gift subscription to the excellent Alexandra Petrie in the WaPo.
My favorite tweets so far:
At this point, even MacBeth would pull McCarthy aside and be like “bruh, you ain’t gonna win this one.”
— Elie Mystal (@ElieNYC) January 4, 2023
Sisyphus: Dude…
— Mike Krumrei (@MikeKrumrei) January 4, 2023