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Trash Talk: Not Exactly Favre-nügen

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[NB: Check the byline, thanks. /~Rayne]

Yes, I am a widow.

I’ve been a golf widow since the first week of April when the grass was greening but still too short to cut, but long enough to bear the weight of golfers.

I am now widowed twice over because said golfer hangs in the clubhouse after 18 holes to watch every sport on all the big screens lining the clubhouse walls.

At least I have a month to plan the golfer’s resurrection after the last golf outing the first week of November.

Damn it. I forgot about deer season. I guess I have two months of planning woodworking and painting projects to keep him busy until the cycle begins again next April.

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Last weekend when the widow-maker spouse came home from watching post-golf football he was far too happy. He launched into a paean to the Detroit Lions. I pissed him off by replying, “You mean the perpetual losing Lions?”

“But they won!” he sputtered.

Two games does not a season make. I know better than to get my hopes up this early.

Apparently the sputterer is not alone: 2 analysts are already talking playoffs for Detroit Lions

The Lions may be up 14-0 as I type this but I am still not ready to believe.

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I doubt I will see the sputtering undead golfer before the end of the Tampa Bay-Green Bay game which begins at 4:25 p.m. ET. Plenty of time to figure out what to serve for dinner to a guy who’s fallen deeply into the 19th hole.

Give me Aaron Rogers over Tom Brady and the non-profit, community-owned team versus the corporate team.

I won’t bother to argue the relative merits of either team; in truth the Green Bay Packers are a family favorite because of a family member who lives in Milwaukee area and is a superfan of the Pack. We’re really rooting for them to have a good Sunday.

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Last but not least, that POS Brett Favre and his bullshit corruption, insisting on redirecting welfare money to university sports. He doesn’t have the morals to fess up to the public and do right by the state of Mississippi.

Remember the college admissions scandal, particularly that surrounding actor Lori Loughlin and her spouse who paid bribes to get their two daughters admitted to the University of Southern California as members of the rowing team though neither student ever rowed? Loughlin and her spouse were arrested, prosecuted, and served time; Loughlin also paid tuition for other students as amends.

But Favre pressed state officials to use Mississippi welfare funds to build a volleyball facility for his daughter to use at his alma mater…and nothing.

Or at least nothing has happened to Favre, while former head of Mississippi Department of Human Services, John Davis, pled guilty to federal and state charges related to misuse of funds including those on behalf of Favre.

It’s not as if there weren’t text messages released which show Favre knew the misallocation was wrong.

One might even come away thinking Favre conspired to launder the money

The capper on all of this has been the ridiculous amount of attention the sports media sector paid to another sports ‘scandal’ this week, when Boston Celtics’ head coach Ime Udoka admitted to engaging in a consensual relationship with an employee working for the same team, resulting in a season-long suspension for Udoka.

Favre’s corruption received much less attention in comparison.

Meanwhile people outside the state ask why Mississippi’s capital city, Jackson, has such tremendous problems with its water system.

Can’t imagine why.

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Just a head’s up that this thread will be an overflow catch-all this week, assuming we don’t have too many other posts between now and the scheduled House January 6 Committee hearing on the 28th.

You might want to bookmark this for all non-hearing chatter.

Turkey, Geezers, Favre and Trash Talk

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brett-favreWelp, here we are upon another Thanksgiving. All of us here at Emptywheel – Marcy, Jim White, Ed Walker and me [EW: Hey! You forgot Rayne!] – are thankful for your readership, commentary and friendship. Some of you are newer, some have been with us forever, but thanks to all of you.

Marcy did a wonderful Thanksgiving food post earlier this morning. Frankly, I might not have bothered with Trash since there was a great discussion going on there. But, today is momentous. It is Brett Favre Day baybee! That’s right old man geezer himself is getting honored in the late game from The Frozen Tundra of Lambeau. And no way that could slip by without some trash talking.

I am getting old now and, still, for my money, there has never been a more joyous and exciting free spirit to watch in the NFL. Yes, obviously, it helps that he played for the team I have rooted for since I was a child. But what a joy he was. At any given instant, Favre could do something incredible or catastrophic….you never knew! But you knew he would do something. And it was usually incredible in the good direction. And on any Sunday, he was always there. Always. Only eight quarterbacks in the history of the NFL have had streaks of a hundred games or more started in a row, and only two with 200 or more. Favre had 297. 321 if you count the playoffs. That is not just the most by a quarterback ever, it is the most by any positional player in NFL history. Until last year when Peyton starting overtaking him, Favre also held nearly every meaningful passing record too. A pretty fine career. He was unique, and he was awesome. Thanks for the memories Brett.

So the Packers host the Bears tonight, where the festivities for Favre will be featured. Rodgers got a bit of his mojo back last week against the Vikings, but I still wonder about his health. The Bears took a step back against the Broncos last weekend, but played tough. They may not be great, but this years’ Bears don’t suck. This should be a great game. And what better setting to end a Thanksgiving day on?

The Lions simply destroyed the Eagles earlier. Wow, where has this version of the Kittehs been all year? Apparently it took creaky old Martha Ford to kick their asses into gear. And the Panthers at Cowboys just started, and already the Panthers have scored on a pick six off of Tony Romo. That is not what the Cowboys needed at all.

So there it is, Happy Turkey Day folks. Eat large and enjoy. Music today is by a friend of mine from long ago from the Scottsdale blues club scene. She is beautiful, and man can she sing. Please give a listen to Janiva Magness, you won’t be sorry.

Trash Talk: It Is All About Dallas

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Sometimes you just have to focus on what is important. And despite the concern over the Jack Tatum like tendencies of those out of control thugs in Pittsburgh, the most important story this week is Dallas. And it is hard to figure which Dallas is having a crappier week, Cowboys or Clark. You see, the Dallas Cowboys, well, they suck. And Dallas Clark suffered a severe wrist injury, apparently during the fourth quarter of last Sunday’s win over the Redskins, that will require season ending surgery. This is a huge injury as Dallas Clark is Peyton Manning’s safety blanket, with a 100 catch year last season and well on the way to another one this year. Not just any catches either, Clark is clutch. Comes at a horrible time for the Peytons too, as wide receiver Austin Collie is out and running back Joseph Addai is nursing a shoulder with nerve issues. The Colts have a bye and it looks like they need it.

NFL: It is not really an appealing slate of games this week. By far really the best one looks to be the Vikes visiting the Geezer’s old stomping grounds at Lambeau. They still do not resemble the team they were last year, but the Vikings seem to be coming together a bit finally. The Packers were pegged by many as Super Bowl bound, but have been literally decimated by injuries and are a disappointing 3-3 after six games. Help may be on its way for Green Bay though, with Al Harris, Atari Bigby and Clay Matthews all expected to return to the field. That is a lot of help, so it should be a fair fight. What could be better than a Sunday night game in the late fall in Lambeau with the Geezer playing the foil? No clue who will win, but it ought to be a hell of a game.

The Giants at the Boys doesn’t exactly carry the weight it usually does, but Dallas is desperate, and NY can really make a step toward the top of the NFC with a win; for a team that was said to be in turmoil just a couple of weeks ago, the Giants are suddenly looking pretty solid. Pats visit the curiously flailing Bolts. Heck, the Chargers are such a wreck even their former stars are off the road. Pats are plugging along; the offense will always be there and you just know Bill Bel will have the defense gelling as the season progresses. Tough week for the Bolts to rebound, even though they are at home; I’ll take the Pats. Raiders at Broncos could be interesting – maybe – but it is at Mile High, so edge to the Donkos. Eagles at Titans and Skins at Bears are the only other games even worth mentioning. Both are hard to read. If I had to bet, I would ride with the two Read more →

It’s Geezer Time! The NFL Season Takes Flight Tonight

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No more preseason watered down bunk. Boise State versus Virginia Tech was nice and all that. But those false fronts are behind us now because it is time for some real football. That’s right folks, Trash Talk is back for real!!!

Now all I got to worry about is a near 41 year old grandfather trying to keep himself and his walker upright out on a field with the most bulked up, fast and vicious young professionals the NFL has to offer. Marcy, on the other hand, had quite a fright this morning when Tom Brady was involved in a terrible car accident. Had to use the jaws of life to get the people out of the other car (a minivan), but Tom is as almost always, unscathed. Back on the field with the team later and, apparently, just fine. Jeebus, the dude must have stolen a four leaf clover from the Boston Garden or something.

But the real news of course is the rematch of the NFC Championship game from last season. Vikings at the Saints. As you may recall, it was a blood bath and one hell of a game. All your favorite characters are back. The Geezer, Adrian Peterson, Jared Allen, Drew Fookin Brees, Reggie Bush and Jeremy Shockey.

Mardi Gras is long over, but the party from Lombardi Gras is still rolling in the Big Easy. New Orleans is wired like it is the Super Bowl all over again. You gotta love it. The teams are both pretty healthy with two exceptions. Safety and defensive general Darren Sharper is still out rehabbing a knee and Sidney Rice is out for six to eight weeks with a bad hip. Both are key to their units, but these are two solid teams and they will make do just fine.

No reason not to believe it won’t be another outstanding game with these two teams on the field. If it is lopsided, it will almost certainly be in the Saints’ favor, as it is possible it takes a few games for the Geezer to get untracked. But it isn’t like he has never been to this rodeo before, so I expect a good game. Problem is, once again the game is in the Superdome in New Orleans, and that is tough. The edge has to be solidly with the Saints tonight.

So take out yer false teeth mama, it is time for the hard hitting to begin again; it’s the season opener in the NFL, Saints and Vikings! Trash it up!

Championship Sunday Trash

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There are two faces to Championship Sunday, the four best teams battling for the two slots in the SuperBowl, back to back games making for one great day of football. But it also means that football is nearly done for the year, and that is depressing. It was already a tough Saturday here with no football save for an uninteresting East West Shrine game. But today is huge, so lets get to it:

On tap first is the J E T S Jets Jets Jets visiting the lay down artists formerly known as the Colts. In my opinion, Indianapolis should have been disqualified from the playoffs for conduct detrimental to the integrity of the league. Instead, after defrauding paying fans for the last two games of the regular season, they will likely earn their way to the Super Bowl.

Peyton Manning is going to score points; as good as the Chargers were supposed to be, Manning simply cannot be shut down like the Jets did to San Diego. The question then becomes can the Jets score enough to keep up and pull out another win over the Colts now that the real Colts will be on the field? It is hard to see how, although with Bob Sanders out for the season, the Colts can be run on and the Jets do that well. The Jets are game, but the Colts win. Renaming Manhattan “Revis Island” may have been a bit premature.

The late game is the much awaited Vikings at the home of the N’awlins Saints. Grizzly Old Man River and Drew Fookin Brees. Reggie Bush and Adrian Peterson. Darren Sharper and Jared Allen. The edge has to go to the Saints because of the home dome noise factor and their more solid across the board defense. But if the Vikes play with the same intensity and composure they exhibited last week against the Cowboys, all bets are off. Percy Harvin is a game time decision due to debilitating migraines. Sharper and Shockey for the Saints have minor issues, but should both be good to go.

If The Vikes defense plays to their potential, like last week, and Favre and the offense can overcome the crowd noise and play in synch, the Vikes win the game; if either factor comes up short in any degree, they lose. That is a lot to ask against a Saints team that just seems a little more solid and consistent on both sides of the ball. This pains me greatly, but the Saints make their first Super Bowl.

Hope y’all enjoy the nice little video attached hereto; it was Marcy’s idea!

Divisional Playoffs Weekend Trash Talk

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Last weekend was supposed to be the big great weekend of exciting and wacky wildcard playoff games. With the exception of the Cardinals Packers Roaster in the Toaster game, they were all duds. This Saturday and Sunday we have another full slate of games, let’s hope they are better games that last weekend; I think they will be. Let em roll!

First up is the winner of that last, great, shootout last Sunday the Arizona Cardinals versus Drew Fookin Brees and da Who Dats. Both Kurt Warner and Captain Creole are gunslingers of the highest order. Honestly, Warner has had a better run in the last few games; but that shouldn’t mean much in this game, they will both come to play. The game is going to boil down to Arizona’s offensive line and defensive backfield; if both come up big, they can and will win. If not, the Saints win. The Cards will suck and the Saints will Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez.

The late game Saturday is the Colts and Ravens. After all these years, it is still Ray Lewis versus Peyton Manning and both are among the very best who ever have or ever will play their position. The Ravens look pretty fierce lately and are the sexy pick among many to knock off the well rested Colts. Peyton Manning is going to score some points, you just know that. But without Bob Sanders on the Colts playoff roster, the Ravens should be able to get at least a little scoring done too. It is going to come down to Terrel Suggs getting at Peyton Manning. My heart wants the Ravens to win and take out the the lay down artists; my wallet will go with the dive artists formerly known as the Colts.

The early game Sunday is ‘Boys at Vikes. Tony Romo and the Old Man River Geezer. This game is totally dependent on the ability of the Vikings defense to match the intensity and performance of the Dallas D. If the Vikes come up big on D, they will win in the dome; if not, they won’t. The other factor is the Minnesota offensive line, which was great at the start of the year, but has really fallen off. As quick a release as Favre has, he needs time for the vertical passes they have been relying on lately. This one kills me, but I think the ‘Boys come out with the win.

Last game is the J E T S Jets Jets Jets at the Bolts. You have to take Phil Rivers over Mark Sanchez, and quite frankly the San Diego receivers are better too. LT has been resurgent and Sroules can cause havoc. The Jets defense is better than the Chargers defense by a wide margin though. Even if the Gang Green can keep it close, it just seems like Rivers and the boys can score enough to win. That is if the Jets can even keep it close. Plus RanDiego has been on a roll. Bolts win.

There is your lineup folks, time to work up a Number Six!

No More Mr. Perfect Guy; Colts Take A Dive

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I am sorry, but I have to be blunt here. Somebody high in the Indianapolis Colts organization is a pussy. It is just that simple. If that offends you, sorry; but this is football and you have to man up baby. People have the gall to be yanking on Brett Favre for refusing to come out of a game that has important implications late in the season when the outcome is seriously on the line; but it is okay for the Colts to sit down Peyton Manning like some kind of delicate debutante in a game that had absolutely gigantic implications on the entire AFC playoff race? You have got to be fucking kidding me.

If I sound incensed; I am. I do not necessarily point at Peyton Manning for this unethical lack of manhood; but he is not off scott free. You think Brett Favre would have sat down for that shit? Hell no. Think Joe Montana would have? Nuh uh. Johnny Unitas or Bart Starr? Get out. But we don’t even have to look that far; you think Vince Lombardi would have backed off and put the taxi squad on the field like the Colts did? Hell no. And neither did Bill Belichick when the Pats were in the same position and had a chance to win the last games to stay undefeated.

But not the Indianapolis Colts though, oh no. Guess we should have known after the way the gutless wonders slithered out of Baltimore in the middle of the night under the cover of a snowstorm because they did not have the guts to be honest with their fans. Clearly they still don’t. Meet the new Irsay, same as the old Irsay.

How could the Colts so neuter their players? How could they steal the hopes and dreams of their fans and season ticket holders? If there was ever a man, a quarterback, built for this run it is Peyton Manning. The man works his ass off doing film study, repetitions and drills, both by himself and with his receivers and backs, all year long. Next to Brett Favre, the man Read more →

Trash Talk: Even Al Qaida Is Pimping The Cheesers Over Favre

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Oh this is beautiful:

It seems that the Brett Favre-Green Bay Packers saga is such a worldwide phenomenon that it’s being used by detainees in American military camps.

According to a military official, detainees at a Wisconsin National Guard camp in Iraq are using Brett Favre as a manner of getting at the guard troops there.

“They know Favre by name,” said First Lieutenant Tim Boehnen, who is from New Richmond, Wis.

“One of the big words they know now is shenanigan. They’ll constantly talk about ‘Favre shenanigans,’ ‘He’s so good for the Vikings,’ and ‘The Packers have got to really feel bad about that one.’ ”

According to Boehnen, it started when troops there started decorating their camp in Packers colors.

Heh. I wonder how you say Ted Thompson is a big fat arrogant idiot in Arabic. And I wonder how the Cheeseheads respond; it’s not like there is much they can say back to the creative and pesky detainees in light of the ass whuppin Favre and the Vikes have laid on them twice. Even on the hallowed Frozen Tundra of Lambeau. Ouch.

In other tangential football news, Obama has been chucking the pigskin on the White House lawn with Drew Fookin Brees (thus today’s musical selection “They Call Me The Breeze”). From USA Today:

President Obama is exercising executive privilege to get youngsters off their butts, and to urge all Americans to volunteer for community service.
In a TV spot set to run on Thanksgiving Day, viewers will see New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees zinging a pass to an unseen player. As we look closer, we realize the receiver is actually President Obama. The playing field is the White House lawn. The defender is Pittsburgh Steelers safety Troy Polamalu.

The 90-second public service announcement is a joint effort between the NFL’s Play 60 campaign to fight childhood obesity and the president’s United We Serve public-service effort.

Pretty cool, and a worthy cause too. Football on the lawn at 1600 Pennsylvania; somewhere JFK, RFK Read more →