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Laborious Trash Talk

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It is Labor Day weekend. Shockingly, my dictation program, Nuance Dictate for Mac, has gone beyond its normal complete worthlessness and now exists in the temporal-intellectual worthlessness of time and space. Seriously, for an application that claims to be useful for efficiency for the normal human, they are total crap. I have fought with them for nearly four years, and I am tired. You want to talk to me Nuance, here I am. Otherwise, go blow a goat.

Okay, now that I have gotten a little preliminary issue setting out of the way, let us get down to Trash Talk mofo’s and……

Oooops! Major power outage at Casa de bmaz! Seriously, I have dick for connection, only 3G on my old iPhone (yes, I have been holding out for iPhone5, even my wife is about to kill me).

I am sorry, I Musta Got Lost. And my gmail tells me Marcy is on the warpath. Rightly so, despite monsoon season here. Oddly, the sky looks mostly clear, I have no reason why my AC, much less my DC, has been taken away from me. You laugh, but when it is 106, you need the juice for the air conditioner. Bad. Somewhere below is a picture of the only light there was for a while, the moon. Vaya con dios Neil Armstrong, I thought well of you in the face of the moon tonight. If there was a measure of the childhood of my generation, it was the Moon Shot.

More Trash content will be on the horizon, like the storm front closing in, but not yet here. In the meantime, I am going to buy you all off with the evidence of my entertainment while I had no electricity. When you suddenly have no cable, no internet, no McIntosh, Adcom and B&W stereo; you have to make do. My daughter Jenna is providing the entertainment while all things I know are down.

UPDATE: Okay, I am back for a little bit. Man, lot of no power tonight and during, and after, then there was the tequila issue. What is a poor boy to do? Sing for a rock n’ roll band?

Okay, South Carolina and Michigan State, both closer than expected but not so by me, both won to start the college football season. Nobody should take anything away from Vanderbilt nor Boise State though. Especially Boise. Sparty is good, and at home to open the season? The BCS should never, ever, dock Boise State because they do not try to play a difficult enough schedule. Previously they opened against the Oregon Ducks in Corvallis. Tell me again why they cannot play for a national championship?

But now, the most interesting game of the first weekend is on tap. Yep, the Wolvereenies versus Crimson Tide at JerryJonesBowl. I’ll take Denard Robinson, seen below in a stirring segment, in an upset over the NickSabanDroids. Granted, I am completely sloshed and sitting on my front patio in a cactus patch, but that is my Karl Rove’s Fathers’ Solid Gold Cock Ring Lead Pipe Lock prediction. [All legal disclaimers imaginable applicable]. But wait! There is more! If you call right now we will double the offer! [Okay, not really].

The NFL has played the 4th and final preseason game, the one season ticket holders pay for, but that nobody understands, already. The Jets, Jets, Jets finally scored a touchdown. Yes that is one. But “yay”. There are interesting things going on in baseball, but the best is the return of the Rocket. Even if it is for the Skeeters. These are the young Pujols’s of the next generation and, through four innings, they can’t hit Rocket. Think the jurors from the trial and Reggie Walton are not watching the Rocket? Oh yeah, you bet your butt they are. Clemens will likely throw one more independent league game, likely against the Long Island Ueckers (not really; that was a little high and outside). And then a start for the Astros. Maybe two. Just cause.

But, far more globally important than football, baseball or that nimrod NASCAR, the Circus is coming back to town. Yep, Formula One. And where the spinning wheel stops is…..at Spa! Yes, the circuit that looks like a woman’s reproductive system. Or a Phaser. Whatever. Unlike those candy asses in left turn NASCARland, they run in the wet in F1.

Yes they do and it is wet at Francorchamps. Qualifying will go off not too long after I post this, and the race coverage o Speed TV begins at 7:30am EST and 4:30am PST on Sunday morning. Despite the safetied up new course at Spa, with a bit of wet, it is still a fast, dangerous and interesting layout. Ought to be fun.

There are certain people that have covered F1 forever. One of the best photographers, Paul Henri-Cahier, has been, and is, a friend to this blog. Paul is the, without question, premier F1 photographer in the world and he is second to his father, the legendary Bernard Cahier.Grand Prix does not get the attention it should here in the States. But one who does cover it up close and personal on track is Brad Spurgeon. Here is Brad’s setup for this weekend:

Formula One began the second part of its season after the long, five week summer break in August, with the practice sessions on Friday at the Spa-Francorchamps circuit in Belgium.

But thanks to the typical Spa weather, and unfortunately for the thousands of spectators who showed up to take a €400 shower, it was as if the holidays had never ended.

The cars may have managed to turn a few laps in the rain in the morning session — although only one car went out during the entire first half of the 1 hour and 30 minute session — but there was no track action at all in the afternoon session until 35 minutes of the same length session remained. And even then, six of the 22 drivers did not take to the track, and of those who did, none drove more than four laps.

Yep. Summer break is over, and it is time to go to Ardennes forest with the lads. With the wet in the picture, Spa will be special.

So, there is Trash Talk for this week. Marcy is probably gonna come along and yammer about Nate Ebner and whatnot. I got one question though. Picture Walt Kowalski talking to an Ikea chair: Should the Cardinals pick up and immediately start Brian Hoyer? Bonus question: Do Watertiger’s precious Jets need Hoyer even worse than the Cardinals?

Boogie the Trash!

Tide, Tigers and Other Pro Football

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ESPN tells me that the BIGGEST COLLEGE FOOTBALL GAME EVAH is being played today between Number 1 LSU and Number 2 Alabama. Got a pretty tough hill to climb to beat the Stanford/USC game last weekend though; we shall see. No question about these two teams defenses, they are both big, tough and fast. The game is at fabled Bryant-Denny Stadium in Tuscaloosa, so the home turf factor certainly goes to the Tide. But the Tigers have the Honey Badger X-Factor. The Honey Badger is LSU cornerback/roving hit man Tyrann Mathieu. Both teams have competent QBs, although neither Jarrett Lee nor AJ McCarron have really been tested so far in a situation where the game depended on their arms, so their stats are a little misleading. Really so far, it is basically a wash and the teams are pretty similar. Except Alabama has Trent Richardson, who is simply a punishingly good running back; by the end of the game, that may well be the difference.

A week or two ago, I might have thought #14 Kansas State could give #3 Oklahoma State a run for the money; but not now, and not in Stillwater. A third late game of note is #9 South Carolina at #7 Arkansas. Marcus Lattimore’s season ending knee injury cost the “Cocks maybe the best all around RB in the nation, but his fill in, Brandon Wilds has been picking right up where Lattimore left off. The Hogs just kill SC every year, but I am going to go out on a limb and say the Gamecocks get the upset. The fourth key game is yet another late game, with ASU traveling to the Rose Bowl to take on UCLA. Hard to believe, but if the Bruins manage a win, they would be in the lead for the Pac-12 Southern Division berth in the conference championship game. The Bruins have rebounded from a lousy start to the season, but I don’t think they have the horses to match points with Brock Osweiller and the Devils.

Honorable mentions go to Texas A&M/Sooners; potential upset there, but it is in Norman. In early action, Iowa is Hawking all over the Wolverweenies so far as are the Longwhores over the Texas Tech Red Raiders.

Oh, and in the sick news of the week, legendary ex-Penn State Defensive Coordinator Jerry Sandusky has been indicted on 40, count em 40, counts of various deviant sexual assault of minor boys over a fifteen year period between 1994 and 2009. Sandusky retired from PSU in 1999, but the current Athletic Director and a second school athletic oversight official have also been charged in the matter with perjury and failure to report. JoePa has been left out, presumably because he did report when he supposedly first heard of Sandusky’s conduct (which was in 2002 after Sandusky had left PSU), but it sure doesn’t look like Paterno did much in the way of followup when he had to have known nothing had come of his report. Pretty bleak day in University Park.

In more positive news, the fine folks in Deetroit have organized to try to unsuck the Lions’ home games. From the Free Press:

A petition to dislodge Nickelback from the Detroit Lions’ Thanksgiving Day game has turned into a whole mess of petitions.

Rolling into its second day, the Great Nickelback Debacle continued to generate heated Internet chatter and international headlines, as the original fan campaign against the rock band closed in on 35,000 signatures.

Now THAT is a worthy effort; here is the petition. Nickelback?? You gotta be fucking kidding me. Deetroit Motor City, what the hell were you thinking??

UPDATE: Aaaaannnddd here come the “other pro-football players”, the ones that work for money instead of Escalades, free tattoos and money. I get the choice of 49ers at Skins or the Jets Jets Jets getting Circled By Wagons. I am kind of watching both, but am more interested in the Bills. Say this though, Frank Gore is an animal. Dude is really good. San Francisco is not a fluke, they can play. Hey, look, Sanchez is on the ground getting dirty near his own end zone already! Fancy that….Hey, wait, the Sanchize drove the Jets all the way down to the Bills endzone ….. and was promptly intercepted with a 20 yard runback.

Actually, now that I look at the schedule, Skins/49ers may be the second best early game; yuk what a lousy slate. Tampa Bay and Saints might be interesting, but it is in Nawlins, and Le Bon Temps Roulet there. The late slate is much better with Bolts/Cheesers, Pats/Gents, Bengals/Titans, and Baby Jesus at the Black Hole all being pretty interesting matchups. This is the kind of weird game the Bolts often somehow win, but for the life of me, I cannot see how they are gonna stop the Cheese Offensive. I don’t think the Pats could stop Bad Eli, much less Good Eli. Isn’t this where the famed “gelling of the young Belichick defense” is supposed to be happening? No signs of that so far this year.

Most unfortunately, I will be watching none of those games, because I get the extra pleasure of being given the Rams and Cardinals as my only late afternoon game. That is a fair fight. Of losers. Oh well, the Sunday and Monday Night games are both superb this week. Big Ben and the Stillers are back in form, and they might just have some payback in the offing for the Ravens. And Flacco and the Baltimore offense are regressing. Bears at Philly just depends on which Bears show up. But it seems Vick and teh Iggles are starting to click finally, so Philly looks good here.

Crack open a cold one and shove some chips and salsa in yer maw and let’s rock.

DOJ PIN Head Steps Into More Malfeasance Poo

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Central to the prosecutorial misconduct directly resulting in the criminal charges against former Alaska Senator Ted Stevens being dismissed was Brenda Morris, the Principal Deputy Chief of the DOJ Public Integrity Section (PIN). The misconduct was so egregious, and the Office of Professional Responsibility (OPR) so infirm, the trial judge, Emmet Sullivan, appointed a special court investigator to handle a criminal contempt probe.

Has the DOJ itself taken any action in light of the heinous conduct? No, of course not, they never do at the Roach Motel that is the OPR. Instead, the DOJ banished Morris to the Atlanta USA office apparently still as some kind of functioning authority in the Public Integrity (PIN) section. The DOJ is nothing if not consistent, whether under Bush or Obama.

Morris has promptly inserted herself into another high charged political mess, and done so with questionable ethics and curious basis for involvement. From Joe Palazzolo at Main Justice:

Brenda Morris, a veteran trial lawyer in the Criminal Division’s Public Integrity Section, was among a group of federal law enforcement officials who met with Alabama legislators on April 1 to inform them of the probe, which is related to a proposed amendment to the state constitution that would legalize electronic bingo.

The investigation has inflamed tensions between state Democrats and Republican-appointed U.S. Attorney Leura Canary, who prosecuted former Gov. Don Siegelman (D) and whose husband has close ties to Republican Gov. Bob Riley, who strongly opposes the amendment. Canary’s office and the Public Integrity Section are jointly investigating bingo proponents’ quest for votes in support of the amendment, which the Senate passed on March 30.

The state House of Representatives has yet to vote. Alabama Democrats sent a letter to the Lanny Breuer, the head of the Justice Department’s Criminal Division, charging that the “unprecedented” disclosure of the investigation was meant to have a “chilling effect” on state legislators who otherwise might have voted for the amendment.

Here, from the Alabama Press Register, are a few quotes from local Alabama legal experts familiar with the facts and history:

Doug Jones, a former U.S. attorney now in private practice in Birmingham, called the private meeting a “virtually unprecedented” break from standard FBI procedures.

“I can’t think of a legitimate law enforcement purpose to do something like this,” said Jones, who represents members of the Alabama Democratic Caucus.

“I have never, in all my years of practicing law, heard of an event like what happened (on Thursday)” said Mobile County District Attorney John Tyson Jr. “It was stunning to me.”

Former U.S. Attorney William Kimbrough of Mobile said he’d seen nothing like it in a legal career that spans nearly five decades.

So what in the world was Brenda Morris doing smack dab in the middle of such a contentious political mess and how could the Obama/Holder DOJ think it appropriate? The answer is hard to fathom. Morris was supposed to have been tasked to the Atlanta US Attorney’s office as a litigation attorney while she is being investigated by the court for criminal contempt from her last case. You really have to wonder who is running the asylum at DOJ Main to think that there could ever be positive optics from Morris being involved in anything politically contentious.

You also have to wonder how exactly it is the Obama Administration has seen fit to leave Leura Canary, the Karl Rove acolyte who persecuted Don Siegelman, in office as the US Attorney for the Middle District of Alabama. Local blogs are not amused; from Legal Schnauzer:

According to press reports, representatives from the Office of the U.S. Attorney for the Middle District of Alabama played a key role in Thursday’s meeting. Bush appointee Leura Canary, who oversaw the prosecution of former Democratic governor and Bob Riley opponent Don Siegelman, remains in the charge of that office. Alabama’s two Republican U.S. Senators, Richard Shelby and Jeff Sessions, have scuttled various Obama nominees for the position, and the White House, so far, has chosen not to fight for the two candidates (Michel Nicrosi and Joseph Van Heest) favored by Democrats.

Canary’s lingering presence in office almost certainly is driving the bingo investigation. Angela Tobon, an FBI special agent in Mobile, Alabama, told The Birmingham News that the Public Integrity Section (PIN) of the Justice Department is leading the inquiry. Tobon refused to elaborate when contacted by a reporter from the Montgomery Advertiser.
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Does that mean Leura Canary was able to take advantage of a leaderless organization, contacting “loyal Bushies” still embedded in the Justice Department to help get PIN involved in a bogus Alabama operation?

It sure looks that way.

I honestly do not know enough to make the call on the underlying electronic bingo investigation, but the locals sure look to be raising a lot of very good questions about how it is being used to manipulate the local political landscape. Irrespective of the merits of the underlying investigation, leaving tainted authorities, of questionable ethics, like Leura Canary and Brenda Morris to be the face of this unusual and politically charged matter is simply inexcusable.