Trash Talk – Mrs. O’Leary’s Bovine Edition

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Well, I tell ya, the natives are restless out there. Randiego has been mercilessly hammering on the Patriots lately. He has been pounding on me daily to say bad things, very bad things, about the Pats. Even – gasp – that they are washed up and wouldn’t be any better even with Tom Brady. Lost their mojo when Ashanti Samuel walked out the door. Bad things. I have tried to shield Marcy from it cause, you know, she is so delicate and frail on this gridiron stuff. Now, the good Professor Foland has joined in the fray. Something about Juice Williams, 431 yards and 45 points by the Fighting Illini. In the Big House. Oh my. Oh, and just so the record is clear, yes I know my Sun Devils suck too. What is a poor boy to do?

But, before we get to the NFL, let’s take a quick look at

MLB Playoff Baseball – Ruh roh. Just wait until next year. Yep, it is that time in the Windy City. At least on the North Side anyway. Coming soon to the South Side Sox. Talking about some mojo, that damn cow of Mrs. O’Leary’s was one powerful critter eh? Brutal. Can’t blame Bartman this time. Halfway through the season the Dodgers had nuthin; but along came Manny being Manny, and now they are all manned up. Derek Lowe knows how to pitch big games; looks like the boys in Blue are in the NL catbird seat.

In the junior circuit, with that confounded designated hitter thing, it is looking very much like a Sawx-Rays (sans Devil) finale. What the hell happened to the Halos? And Beckett is pitching game three? Say good night Gracie. Oh, one more thing. Where is the Team That Dumped Torre? Oh, that’s right, they are at home. Or Madonna’s crib. But Joe Torre, he has already won another playoff series. Hank the Skank Steinbrenner ain’t real bright.

National Favre League – Not much to talk about with the Bretts on their bye week. Pats looking for an upset over the Niners; looking for friendlier ground than Miami. Those fish are tough you know. Maybe randiego will let us know how the Frightning Bolts stack up, because the Bolts are headed to Miami Sunday. The Redskins at Iggles and Buccos at Broncs appear to be the class games of the day. If Jason Campbell keeps on improving on his solid play, the Skins are going to be Read more →

To Favre Or Not To Favre, That Is the EW Trash Talk Question

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National Favre League – Marcy has been pimping me to do up a Favre post ever since the first rumors came out of his waffliness months ago. Who am I to deny the hostess with the mostess? I chalk it up to the fact that the only thing the Lions have done in the off season is give Kevin Jones (a good running back when healthy) to the Bears for nothing in free agency. But not to worry, Roidney is still pumped up and Tom is still sitting pretty for the Pats. And yes, I still think the Pats are the class of the league.

But, let’s face it, the only thing that is important in the NFL right now is Brett Favre. He is like Britney with no panties. I am not going to waste time with a bunch of links, you folks know the deal. My own take was totally on the Packer’s side initially, and still, on balance, probably is. But it is also clear that, irrespective of what has happened and who caused it, they really do not want him back. Given that, and that I do think they pressured him for an answer before he was ready this winter/spring (not that such was unreasonable necessarily, just a fact), and given that they do not want him, I think they do owe him to let him play somewhere else. Take him back and let him be Brett Favre or let him go; but get on with it. It is not just a business decision; no matter what, he has earned more than that. That is my opinion, what is yours? Chat up any and all other football, college or pro, that you got.

MLB – The second half of the season is upon us. What a killer All Star Game; for once. A fitting farewell to Yankee Stadium. I know you Sawx fans are prowling around, what say you? Personally, I still think, that as big of a giant jerk as he is, there is something about Schilling. He is gone, and I think the Sawx will be, at least for this year, too. They will go far, but no ring. My Diamondbacks started out like gangbusters, then just went bust. I think they are going to regroup, hang on in Read more →

But … But … What about Oversight?

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"Scottish Haggis" Specter, letting his better judgment get the better of him, has decided he has better things to do with his time.

Sen. Arlen Specter said he won’t call for congressional hearings on the NFL’s investigation of the Spygate scandal after previously threatening to do so.

Specter’s office confirmed Tuesday his comments a day earlier to the Philadelphia Daily News editorial board, in which he said "I’ve gone as far as I can" with his office’s investigation of the matter. Specter, the ranking Republican on the Judiciary Committee, had written in a Senate floor statement earlier this month that "I believe the NFL should step forward and embrace an independent inquiry."

[snip]

"I haven’t pulled back. There’s not much more I can do at this point," the senator said Monday, according to his office. "We’ve exposed a lot. … But the public attention span is so limited. I’m not going to call for hearings because the mood is not right and we’ve got too many other bigger problems to deal with."

No mention of whether those "bigger problems" have to do with the government’s spying on Americans, rather than Bill Belichick’s spying on the Eagles or not.

EW’s Famous Football Trash Talk* – What The Puck Edition

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Are you ready for some football? Hot damn, I am. And guess what, there really is football to talk about. And lots of other things too, but let’s start off with the gridiron. Hey, did you notice that the asterisk is still in the title? Of course it is, because Spygate is the gift that keeps on giving for the New England Patriots. Thank god that FISA stuff seems to be wrapping up, because the ole Scottish Haggis is gonna be needing the legislative time and resources to question Matt Walsh and get to the bottom of Belichick’s torture tapes.

Alright, lets get down to business. The 2008 NFL Entry Draft is beginning as this post is going up. Michigan offensive lineman Jake Long has already been signed by the Fish, and Howie Long’s spawn is reportedly set to be taken at number two by the Rams. Then the crapshoot begins. What needs does your team have, who do you like to fill them, and what else is up on the pigskin front? I understand the Patriots are torn between this guy and this guy.

Don’t tell Marcy, but there are actually sports other than football. In fact, I understand that, up in Canada, they play something called hockey; and not just any hockey understand you, they are currently in Playoff Hockey for the cherished Stanley Cup. The Cup has to be the coolest trophy in all of sports, every winning player gets his name etched onto it for eternity. And it goes fun places during the year as each player on the winning team gets to cart it around wherever he wants. I hear tell it goes to a lot of pubs, and a few cathouses too. I don’t know diddly squat about hockey, but in honor of our fine feathered friends in the Great White North, Ishmael, Skdadl, and all the others, I thought we ought to give a shout out to Stanley Cup Playoffs, thus the "What The Puck" part of the title to this post.

Due to the surprising response I got the last time, I will also trot out F1 for your consideration. This weekend is Round four of the circus, the Spanish GP from Circuit de Catalunya in Barcelona, Spain. Kimi Raikkonen is on pole, having beaten out Fernando Alonso in literally the last second of qualifying. Read more →

Emptywheel’s Famous Football Trash Talk* Super Bowl XLII Edition

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Well, Championship Sunday was a bit of a letdown. No one claimed the much prized Hubcap, the Pack packed it in, LT was MIA, and nobody noticed that the asterisk was still in the title. There sure has been a lot that has happened since, most of it having to do with the most famous foot in the world. That foot would, of course, belong to Brady, Sir Tom. Uh oh, this just in, hot off the wire (Oh my, this is really rich, heh heh):

BREAKING NEWS: HAGGIS DEMANDS SENATE INQUIRY INTO PATRIOTS SPYGATE SCANDAL; COMPARES MATTER TO TORTURE TAPES DESTRUCTION!

The ranking Republican on the Senate Judiciary Committee wants N.F.L. Commissioner Roger Goodell to explain why the league destroyed evidence related to spying by the New England Patriots.
…
In a telephone interview Thursday morning, Senator Arlen Specter, Republican of Pennsylvania and ranking member of the committee, said that Goodell would eventually be called before the committee to address two issues: the league’s antitrust exemption in relation to its television contract and the destruction of the tapes that revealed spying by the Patriots.

“That requires an explanation,” Specter said. “The N.F.L. has a very preferred status in our country with their antitrust exemption. The American people are entitled to be sure about the integrity of the game. It’s analogous to the C.I.A. destruction of tapes. Or any time you have records destroyed.”
…
Mr. Specter first wrote Mr. Goodell about the tapes on Nov. 15. … The league responded to Mr. Specter late Thursday afternoon.
…
“It’s premature to say whom we’re going to call or when. It starts with the commissioner. He had the tapes, and he made the decision as to what the punishment could be. He made the decision to destroy them.”

Mr. Specter said it had not been determined when Mr. Goodell would be called before the committee.

Jeebus, I don’t even know what to say. I kind of thought we had seen governmental actors functioning at the outer boundaries of surreality yesterday with Mukasey, but I should have known better than Read more →

Bye Week Trashtalk: The Mystery of Brady’s Boot

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I guess I’m not yet ready to go more than a week without trashtalk. Besides, this whole Tom Brady and his boot thing is getting so ridiculous that I had to post on it.

You see, I’m beginning to believe the whole thing is a plot, cooked up by Bill Belichick, to seriously fuck with the press and possibly even the Giants pre-game planning. What better plot than to send your hot quarterback Brady (speaking of which, see this BoGlo photo collection, which includes some of the boot pictures) down to visit his hot girlfriend Gisele in the press capital of the world which also just happens to be your Super Bowl opponent’s city? Send him down in a walking cast, and it’s just guaranteed to be photographed by the paparazzi. Then, the press wants to talk about nothing so much as whether or not Tom Brady is hurt and therefore will throw as badly in the Super Bowl as he did in the AFC Championships, ignoring all the other details of the game. And Belichick won’t be forced to admit to the Giants that it’s all a big trick until just four days before the game (though seriously, if Coughlin isn’t assuming that Brady will start and do some damage, he’s not so bright).

And what better way to minimize Bye Week stress on the rest of the team than by ensuring the only questions they’ll have to answer pertain to Brady’s Boot.

Running back Kevin Faulk has worn a boot in the past, and attracted little notice. “Because I’m not Tom Brady, I guess,” Faulk said.

Linebacker Adalius Thomas said: “I don’t know anything about a boot, a cup or a shoe. Or slippers. I don’t know. His slippers cost more than my shoes.”

Fullback Heath Evans vowed to don a boot “and see if you follow me around.”

[snip]

“Every channel I turned to, there it was,” Patriots defensive lineman Richard Seymour said. “Focused on the boot. I focused on the flowers.”

"Are you worried about the Giants’ pass rush, Matt Light?"

"What I’m really worried about, Boomer, is whether Brady will find a Patriots silver boot in time for the game."

So what do you think? Has Belichick taken his crafty ways off of the field to play the press, going so far as to excuse Brady from practice or hide him somewhere? Or are the Giants going to be facing Matt Read more →

emptywheel’s Famous Football Trash Talk Thread* – Championship Sunday Edition

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Championship Sunday brings conflicting emotions for me. It brings the very essence, the finest, that pro football has to offer; the two best teams in each conference duking it out for the right to go to the Super Bowl. It also means that, save for the commonly anti-climatic Super Bowl, the football season is over, and that leaves a hole in the sports, and emptywheel, world until next fall. Well, enough of that, we DO have one outstanding day of gridiron glory left, lets get to it.

Frightning Lightning Bolts at Pats – The Bolts are busted up. Tomlinson has a hyperextended knee. Rivers also has a bum knee and Antonio Gates can hardly walk, but will undoubtedly play fine just like last week, with his famous toe. None of these three have practiced this week, but all are expected to play. Shawne "Gastineau" Merriman is a little under the weather, but has practiced and should be ready. For the Pats, Donte Stallworth and guard Steve Neal have minor pains, but have practiced and are good to go. Now if I am Bill Belichick, I am telling the whole team how the female complainant against Randy Moss is on the Charger’s payroll, and a statement has to be made for their oppressed teammate by steamrolling the Bolts and running up the score. The weather forecast is for bitter cold and wind. Not exactly favorable conditions for the beach boys. The Bolts have been playing inspired and excellent football for weeks now, and Norval Turner is off the snide and has actually won a playoff game. Congratulations on the fine season randiego; however, I fear it has come to an end. The Pats win this one easy.

NY Football Giants at The Green Bay Favres – What do you say about this game? It has everything you could ask for as a fan, and more. Young Eli Manning is actually playing like the reliable bulletproof Ecodrive watch he hawks. The Gents running game is strong and deep and the defense tough. Well, except for the secondary that is; where Kevin Dockery, Sam Madison and Aaron Ross are all pretty nicked up, but are available. Good thing they won’t be facing a proven quarterback or anything. For the Pack, everybody is practicing and ready to go, although Woodson, Bubba Franks and Read more →

Trash Talk Too

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Dang you guys trash talked a bunch while I was waiting for the Pats to catch up!!!

In the interest in keeping the threads under 500 comments, I’m going to do another trash talk thread–so we can all channel good thoughts about the Bolts beating the Colts.

Predictions are (tell me how I’ve screwed this up in the comments, and this is just through the first 100 comments):

emptywheel: Pats, Packers, Colts, ‘Boys

bmaz: Pats, Packers, Colts, Giants

CTuttle (last week’s reining reigning raining champ): Jags, Packers, Colts, ‘Boys

phred: Packers, "kitty kitty kitty," Colts, Giants

Coyoteville: Pats, Packers, Colts, Giants

watercarrier4diogenes: Jags, Squawks, Bolts, Gents

Evolute: Packers, Jags, Colts, ‘Boys

Strategerie: Squawks, Jags, Giants

radiofreewill: Jags, Giants, Packers, Bolts

freepatriot: Packers, Jags, Colts, ‘Boys

Go Bolts!

Prof Foland: [Oops, I missed him] Packers, Pats, Colts, ‘Boys

TexBetsy: Manning East, Manning Central

Muzzy: Squawks, Pats, Colts, Dallas

Neil: Colts and Cowboys 

emptywheel’s Famous Football Trash Talk Thread* – Division Playoff Edition

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We are now down to genuine pro football. No more Cinderellas; the teams that ought to be here are here. No more "best of the rest" discussions, no more silly BCS games without the best teams playing. Three out of the four games are being played outdoors, where football is meant to be played. Hoosiers, I’m talking about you; you got to toughen up, if you can’t plant your butts outside for three hours to watch Peyton and the Colts, you aren’t real fans. Time to get down and dirty.

Pats and Jags – The Asterisk Bowl! The Jags seemed a lot tougher before they wimped out and took down their website asterisk on the Pats. Thats it, they are toast. Belichick was already going to use the asterisk bit, now he and the Pats are going to flat out disrespect the Jags as a bunch of wusses. For the Jags, DT John Henderson has a touchy hammy, but will play and LB Mike Peterson has a bad paw and is doubtful. The Pats don’t even have any injuries to report; uh oh, 16-0 and they are fully healthy. The Jags are a very good team, are well coached, and earned their way here; but they are done now. Buh bye.

Pack and Seagulls – Jonathan Livingston Seahawk is flying in to TitleTown. Prodigal sons Holmgren and Hasselbeck return to that from which they came. A couple of weeks ago, I would have told you Seattle wouldn’t get out of the wildcard matchup. Last week, it was close, but I thought the Skins would eke out a win. Give em credit though, the Seahawks are playing well, and Holmgren is a good coach. I have to admit, I am more than a little worried. However, Brett Favre is loose and ready. Favre is always ready for some football; he is a 38 year old kid on a playground. I think its different this time though, because he has already indicated he is coming back, so he is not worried about it being his last game and he believes in the kids around him, and they believe in him. Ryan Grant looks like a real find at running back and his style is perfect for this kind of field and this time Read more →