The SpyGate to DeflateGate Story Is an Illogical Tale

ESPN has a breaking story claiming that the reason the NFL — the implication is, Roger Goodell — went overboard with the DeflateGate investigation is because Goodell lost credibility when he went easy on his buddy Robert Kraft during the SpyGate investigation and so overcompensated on DeflateGate.

Even the two paragraphs that make that case don’t make sense.

From the beginning, though, Goodell managed Deflategate in the opposite way he tried to dispose of Spygate. He announced a lengthy investigation and, in solidarity with many owners, outsourced it to Wells, whose law firm had defended the NFL during the mammoth concussions litigation. In an inquiry lasting four months and costing at least $5 million, according to sources, Ted Wells and his team conducted 66 interviews with Patriots staffers and league officials. Wells, who declined to comment, also plumbed cellphone records and text messages.

A 243-page report was made public that applied the league’s evidentiary standards — relaxed after Spygate — against Brady, while Belichick, who had professed no knowledge of the air pressure of his team’s footballs and said this past January that the Patriots “try to do everything right,” was absolved of any wrongdoing. Finally, Goodell and Troy Vincent, executive vice president of football operations, waited until the conclusion of the investigation before awarding punishment, rather than the other way around. Another legacy of Spygate — consequences for failing to cooperate with a league investigation — was used against the Patriots and, ultimately, Brady. Goodell upheld Brady’s four-game suspension because the quarterback had asked an assistant to dispose of his cellphone before his March interview with Wells. That, in fact, was the only notable similarity between the two investigations: the order to destroy evidence.

The NFL drew its conclusions — in uncorrected leaked claims that the Pats’ balls were underinflated and the Colts’ balls weren’t — instantaneously. From that point on they were stuck, and that may be why they doubled down on stupid when their evidence proved shoddy. Goodell didn’t outsource his investigation, because NFL VP Jeff Pash had a role in it and Wells was also being retained as NFL’s counsel (remember that folks in New England believe Pash was one of the sources for the inaccurate claims about the Pats and Colts’ inflation rates to Chris Mortenson). While Wells had reviewed the Pats’ cell phone records in this case, the NFL had withheld their own in the Ray Rice case. The failure to cooperate was used more in Goodell upholding the punishment than in the original punishment (though the NFL couldn’t actually explain to Judge Richard Berman which was which). And given that Wells had told Brady he didn’t need to turn over his phone, his decision to destroy his own phone shouldn’t be considered central to anything but the PR.

But the latter part of this passage — included, but not probed — is one of the biggest reasons why this explanation makes no sense. If Goodell wanted to prove he was being tough on the Patriots with DeflateGate — including the mastermind, purported cheater Bill Belichick — then why didn’t he invent evidence that BillBel was “generally aware” of the alleged-but-never-proven deflation scheme, and punish the hell out of him? Why focus on Brady, when the lack of evidence actually implicating Brady seemed to impose no limitations on Goodell’s punishment? Indeed, why use a management standard on integrity of the game against Brady, who is only subject to the players’ standards, rather than using it against BillBel, who is legally subject to its terms??

Those who believe BillBel is a cheat ought to be asking why the NFL came up with a substance-free accusation against Brady but chose not to launch a substance-free accusation against BillBel, against whom (the rest of the story lays out) there was a slew of evidence of breaking the rules.

Moreover, the entire premise of the article is that Goodell was proving he learned his lesson on SpyGate. Yet one of Goodell’s key favors to the Pats in SpyGate was punishing the Pats for an individual violation, the taping of the Jets game, while covering up evidence of more systematic violations, the tapes of other games, which Goodell had destroyed back in 2007. Yet one of the reasons Judge Berman thumped the NFL so hard is that the NFL claimed DeflateGate was only about the AFC playoff game, for which there was zero evidence of Brady involvement, rather than earlier discussions of deflating footballs (albeit to NFL code), in which Brady was involved. That is, Goodell and the NFL did precisely the same thing again, which is one thing that got them in trouble with the court, punishing the Pats for the specific infraction and not a more general pattern (which is not to say there was evidence for a more general pattern, but the evidence implicating Brady was only tied to a more general pattern).

So what has this blockbuster and curiously timed story proven?

First, that the stories about Matt Walsh, the guy to whom claims about watching — but not filming — the Rams pre-Super Bowl practice walk through are sourced, remain inconsistent. The story shows that Walsh told the NFL one thing, then told Arlen Specter more. And Mike Martz (whose subsequent less than stellar career the story blames the Rams loss for ruining, which is clearly false, take it from a Detroit Kitties fan) claims his statement about the game, which was key in deferring further investigation, was embellished.

Martz says he still had more questions, but he agreed that a congressional investigation “could kill the league.” So in the end, Martz got in line. Hewrote the statement that evening, and it was released the next day, reading in part that he was “very confident there was no impropriety” and that it was “time to put this behind us.”

Shown a copy of his statement this past July, Martz was stunned to read several sentences about Walsh that he says he’s certain he did not write. “It shocked me,” he says. “It appears embellished quite a bit — some lines I know I didn’t write. Who changed it? I don’t know.”

Notably, Walsh did not cooperate with this ESPN story, and ESPN has, of course, made some recent (and therefore probably during the vetting of this article) middle-of-the-night apologies for claiming the walk through was taped.

Did ESPN think they had proven that but ended up not claiming it? Have the Pats been making some legal pushes about this issue in recent days, one which might explain this language?

Some media outlets — including ESPN — have inadvertently repeated it as fact. According to Patriots spokesman Stacey James, “The New England Patriots have never filmed or recorded another team’s practice of walkthrough. … Clearly the damage has been irreparable. … It is disappointing that some choose to believe in myths, conjecture and rumors rather than give credit to coach Belichick, his staff and the players.”

This story is, in part, about the continued claims about the Super Bowl that for whatever reason ESPN couldn’t or didn’t confirm.

But the other thing the story does is dodge who is actually responsible for Goodell’s serious fuck-ups on discipline. The story notes that Kraft, among others, blames Goodell’s flunkies, including Pash by name, for these failures.

Kraft was also furious at the league’s executives, from Pash to its public relations staff, and said they had failed to help Goodell. “Roger’s people don’t have a f—ing clue as to what they are doing,” Kraft told his friend.

I find that particularly interesting given how central a role Pash is in this story, including to the outcome of SpyGate. For example, a judgment sourced to a Specter aide claimed that Pash was squirming during the interview with the Senator.

During the 1-hour, 40-minute interview, the new details of which are revealed in Specter’s papers and in interviews with key aides, Goodell was supremely confident, “cool as a cucumber,” stuck to his talking points and apologized for nothing, recalls a senior aide to Specter. Pash, who according to a source later that spring would offer to resign over how the Spygate investigation was handled, spent the interview “sweating, squirming.”

Just as curiously, ESPN reports — without describing their source — that Pash offered to resign. Why would he be responsible? Who within NFL (which claims not to have cooperated here) told ESPN that?

Especially given this passage, which is they key reveal of Goodell ordering Pash and another NFL flunkie destroy the tapes that would have been far more damning to Belichick and Kraft.

The next day, the league announced its historic punishment against the Patriots, including an NFL maximum fine of Belichick. Goodell and league executives hoped Spygate would be over.

But instead it became an obsession around the league and with many fans. When Estrella’s confiscated tape was leaked to Fox’s Jay Glazer a week after Estrella was caught, the blowback was so great that the league dispatched three of its executives — general counsel Jeff Pash, Anderson and VP of football operations Ron Hill — to Foxborough on Sept. 18.

What happened next has never been made public: The league officials interviewed Belichick, Adams and Dee, says [Kraft Group VP Robyn] Glaser, the Patriots’ club counsel. Once again, nobody asked how many games had been recorded or attempted to determine whether a game was ever swayed by the spying, sources say. The Patriots staffers insisted that the spying had a limited impact on games. Then the Patriots told the league officials they possessed eight tapes containing game footage along with a half-inch-thick stack of notes of signals and other scouting information belonging to Adams, Glaser says. The league officials watched portions of the tapes. Goodell was contacted, and he ordered the tapes and notes to be destroyed, but the Patriots didn’t want any of it to leave the building, arguing that some of it was obtained legally and thus was proprietary. So in a stadium conference room, Pash and the other NFL executives stomped the videotapes into small pieces and fed Adams’ notes into a shredder, Glaser says.

First, in a story of this sort, I find it curious that ESPN shows no curiosity, much less reporting, on who leaked key details to the press, both the tape of the Jets game to Fox in 2007 and the completely erroneous details about inflation rates to ESPN for the Pats’ footballs in 2015. Someone within the NFL was leaking, and we’re led to understand the first leak exposed Goodell downplaying SpyGate whereas the second implicated the Pats unfairly (though real Pats haters should wonder whether that leak was correct and the entire Wells Report was a coverup).

But I also find it interesting this passage is explicitly sourced to Pats’ attorney Robyn Glaser, even while, in a key detail — whether anyone asked how many games had been recorded — it relies on (again, completely undescribed) “sources.” I’m also amused that the most important part of the passage — Goodell’s order to destroy the evidence — is in the passive voice:  “Goodell was contacted, and he ordered the tapes and notes to be destroyed.” Who contacted him? Was it on conference call, and if not, who is the sole witness to the claim that Goodell gave the order?

And if Goodell gave the order why did Pash offer to resign?

All of which brings me to a key detail in this story: that after protecting Goodell for years, Kraft was allegedly (according to a single source friend and another undescribed source) ready to review his tenure in the months before DeflateGate rolled out. Again, a key sentence — who asked Kraft when owners would review Goodell’s performance — remains agentless (another owner, someone like Mara, would be a possible source).

Shortly before this past Thanksgiving, as the league awaited a former federal judge’s decision on the appropriateness of the indefinite suspension Goodell had given to Rice, Kraft attended a fundraising dinner and, reflecting a sense among some owners, confided to a friend, “Roger is on very thin ice.” At the same time, according to another source, Kraft was still rallying support for the commissioner despite his increasing disappointments. Asked when the owners would likely discuss Goodell’s performance, Kraft replied, “We’re going to wait until after the Super Bowl.”

And then, on the eve of the AFC Championship Game, as Kraft hosted Goodell at a dinner party at his Brookline, Massachusetts, estate, a league official got a tip from the Colts about the Patriots’ use of deflated footballs.

So here’s another narrative, which is at least as interesting as the obviously false one that Goodell went so hard after Tom Brady as penance for fluffing the SpyGate investigation. In the months before Goodell and the NFL (including Pash) went overboard on the DeflateGate investigation, Kraft was openly talking about reviewing Goodell’s role, even while he was perceived as one of the Commissioner’s last protectors.

Did Goodell know that? Did that come up in that dinner the night before the AFC Championship? Did Pash know that?

Goodell — and, potentially, Pash — were on the verge of losing their job when they doubled down on Goodell’s biggest supporter. People are, even today, calling for Pash to resign. Now they’re just talking about restructuring the discipline process.

That’s at least as interesting a part of this story, even if ESPN isn’t all that self-aware of how this story serves the interests of those who’d like to keep their jobs.

Even Millionaire Workers Like Tom Brady Need Solidarity

President Obama’s at a labor breakfast in Boston today. He offered this message.

Screen Shot 2015-09-07 at 12.16.21 PM

 

Clearly, the President is pandering to his audience. Bostoners like Brady, unlike much of the country.

But it’s an important point, one which has been missing from a lot of the coverage of DeflateGate. Brady will play on Thursday not just because he had better lawyers than the NFL, nor because Roger Goodell is a douchebag who’s not even competent at being a tyrant, but also because he’s a member of a union that had negotiated certain rules with the bosses, one of which was that certain kinds of violations get treated a certain way (in this case, that equipment violations involve a team fine, but no suspensions).

Mind you, I keep wondering why the NFL, after having been embarrassed with the BountyGate, Ray Rice, and Adrian Peterson disciplinary procedures, would adopt an even more abusive approach with Brady, when they were dealing with an alleged crime that wasn’t even as serious or as politically unpopular as the others (setting aside how much most people hate the Pats, of course). It’s possible they did so because they got so far ahead of themselves when they launched an investigation — and leaked highly derogatory and false information — in response to rumors about overinflated balls that they were left with no choice but to double down. But partly, the serial leaks feel like part of the plan here. In which case, I think it at least possible the NFL went after Brady so hard because he has always been active in the Players Association, and was the named plaintiff in 2011 when the players sued the NFL on anti-trust grounds.

Tom Brady may look like a hero, a badass quarterback, or a cheat to fans (depending on whom you’re asking), but maybe to every owner not named Kraft, he looks like a union rabble rouser?

I don’t know the answer to that, but as the league appeals Judge Berman’s ruling, I hope some people ask whether the NFL is just acting so stupid because they are that stupid, or whether there’s something more going on.

In any case, the President may have been pandering. But his point is sound. If even millionaire workers like Tom Brady need a union — need solidarity with other workers to achieve some measure of justice — then we all probably could use more of it.

Happy Labor Day! Go Patriots!

Update: As a number of people are noting, the NFL released a graphic asking which QB will be in next year’s Super Bowl that left the reining champ off.

The Deflategate Decision: Brady Has Been Freed!

Screen Shot 2015-09-03 at 11.32.25 AMemptywheel sez: We interrupt this in depth legal discussion to point out that the WOLVEREENIES ARE BACK!!

 

Better still, they’ve got unbeatable juju going into tonight’s game against Utah. That’s because (unreported among all the other less important Deflategate legalisms) the Wolvereenies have ALREADY worked together to score today.

 

That’s right.

You see, Jay Feely and Tommy Brady combined to score a point in Judge Berman’s decision today. On Monday, former UM kicker Jay Feely ’99 testified on behalf of former UM QB Tom Brady ’00 (just like me!!!). Feely explained about how when the Jets got busted for fucking with their balls in 2009 — in a game against Division rivals the Pats, against Tom Brady — he, the kicker who allegedly benefitted from the improperly doctored balls, faced no punishment.

If you’re not going to punish Jay Feely, Judge Berman suggested, you can’t punish Tommy Brady. At least, you can’t expect Tommy to think he’ll get punished, because his college buddy didn’t in the equivalent situation.

Anyway this is surely a great omen for the Wolverines and their new savior Jim Harbaugh.

So go Blue!


Deflated BallWell, at long last love, the #Deflategate decision from Judge Richard Berman in SDNY is in, and the big winner is Tom Brady.

The 40 page full decision is here

One key line in the decision on the general right of the court to set aside an arbitration is:

“The deference due an arbitrator does not extend so far as to require a district court to countenance, much less confirm, an award obtained without the requisites of fairness or due process” (citing Kaplan v. Alfred Dunhill of London, Inc.)

Boom.

I previously did a very partial background on the case, and how it germinated from blatantly false information (still uncorrected and/or withdrawn) from Chris Mortenson and ESPN. The bottom line is the NFL’s position was that the Commissioner, Goodell, simply has the power to do whatever he wants under Article 46 of the NFL/NFLPA collective Bargaining Agreement (CBA).

The Players Association, on behalf of Tom Brady, makes four core arguments in seeking to vacate Goodell’s arbitration decision:

1) There was not actual notice to Brady of prohibited conduct and that he could be suspended for it (See here for a further description)

2) That there were not adequate and reliable standards for testing game balls, and therefore punishment based on the same is unreasonable

3) That Goodell was a blatantly partial arbitrator, and

4) That the arbitration process lacked fundamental fairness in that key witness testimony and evidence was unreasonably denied to Brady and the NFLPA (See here for a further explanation).

Frankly, Brady is arguably entitled to a decision in his favor on all four. What Berman did is, primarily, rely on the first ground, notice with a backup of ground four, lack of fairness from denial of the Pash testimony and investigative notes.

CN_SebJWIAUg8iYThe critical language from the decision is:

The Award is premised upon several significant legal deficiencies, including (A) inadequate notice to Brady of both his potential discipline (four- game suspension) and his alleged misconduct; (B) denial of the opportunity for Brady to examine one of two lead investigators, namely NFL Executive Vice President and General Counsel Jeff Pash; and (C) denial of equal access to investigative files, including witness interview notes.

So, there you have it, please feel free to unpack this further in comments. This is a momentous decision, not just for Brady and the NFL, but, as I explained in my earlier post, for collectively bargained labor in general. There is a lot of importance here to much more than Tom Brady. Though Brady is certainly the big winner today.

Brady is free! For now anyway, it is nearly a certainty that the NFL will appeal to the 2nd Circuit and we will go through this all again.

ESPN Is Gutless, Chris Mortenson Has Tiny Deflated Balls and Other Deflategate Trash Talk

Hi there! Been a while, hope this account still works and State Secrets or something has not overcome due process on this here blog.

So, here we are in the waning days of summer. I would have written more about the Formula One Circus but, frankly, it has mostly bored the heck out of me this year. The, still, best driver in F1 is stuck in a crappy underperforming McLaren and has to drive his ass off and hope for attrition to even score a point. That would be Fernando Alonso if you haven’t guessed. While lesser drivers, with far better machinery, you know, those like the two insolent crybabies at Mercedes, have such superior equipment that they wrongfully think they are kings. It is all enough to make an old school fan like me puke. Well, enough about the circus, let’s get to the real meat and potatoes of this blog’s sports coverage, the NFL.

As you may have heard, there is a little kerfuffle called #Deflategate that has been going on since before the last SuperBowl. On one side, we have an arrogant all powerful giant human jackass (no, not Dick Cheney this time) named Roger Goodell, and on the other, we have the epitome of bright and light, the All American Hero, and lover of supermodels, Tom Brady. If you think this is not a fair fight, and Brady is the clear winner, advance and collect your winnings.

Okay, back to Chris Mortensen’s apparently shriveled journalistic balls. Let me be clear, this is just opinion (even if putatively well founded opinion), but what kind of “balls” does a man who is spoon fed lying ass bullshit by “NFL Sources” in the form of a tweet that said:

The NFL found 11 of the Patriots’ 12 game balls for Sunday’s 45-7 AFC Championship Game win over the Indianapolis Colts were under-inflated by two pounds per square inch each, league sources told ESPN’s Chris Mortensen on Tuesday.

Obviously, as the actual testing (not to mention the late great “Wells’ Report) confirmed, that was an outright giant flaming LIE. Call it what it is, it was not a minor discrepancy, it was an outright flaming lie. A lie that led directly to the public outcry that begat what we now know as the multi-million dollar boondoggle bullshit “#Deflategate”.

Peter King (no, not the militant chickenhawk moron from Long Island, the other one from Sports Illustrated) was fed the same blatant inflammatory lie by what appear to be NFL officials, but King had the balls, and intellectual integrity, to apologize.

Did Chris Mortensen or THE WORLDWIDE LEADER, ESPN, have the intellectual and moral integrity to apologize? No, of course the craven bastards did not. In fact, Mortensen silently deleted his original tweet. What a gutless and tiny balled coward. And ESPN has proved itself to be an oppressive behemoth that is willing to put itself, and its allegiance to the NFL, above their journalistic ethics. How pathetic.

That blatantly false report germinated the entire waste of time that is now #Deflategate. Seriously, without Mortensen’s and ESPN’s relentlessly trumped up and featured false report, tagged on by King and SI, there would simply never have been #Deflategate. But it was clearly something the NFL wanted pushed, and they got their want, one way or another. Oh, by the way, is there further evidence that ESPN and Chris Mortensen may be dishonest news sources without a shred of credibility? Yes, yes there is. Mortensen reported that the Kraft family and Patriots had apologized to him. Was that true? No, according to the Krafts on behalf of the Patriots, that was blatantly false.

Here is the thing: #Deflategate is a house of cards built on a pile of dung. If you have an iota of concern for fundamental fairness and due process, you ought be offended – even if this is only a civil labor law mess involving millionaires against billionaires. It all matters, and the labor law principles in play here are beyond critical to all union workers and collective bargaining agreements, not just those of rich athletes. So, yeah, don’t kid yourself, this matters. A lot. If Tom Freaking Brady cannot get fundamental fairness and due process on a collectively bargained agreement, how the hell do you think a UAW, Teamster, teacher, or any other union member will? If you haven’t noticed, labor in this country is under direct attack. Don’t be the guy (or girl!) that aids that attack just because this iteration of the conflict involves Tom Brady and/or rich athletes. This matters, both in general as to all workers under labor agreements, and to your hometown sports teams and players too.

So, there you have Chris Mortensen and his tiny disingenuous balls, but what about some overall facts and law on #Deflategate? Got you kind of covered. And this is especially timely since the last big actual live court day is coming up on Monday, August 31st. So, here we go with some various background resources for you. If you are interested, please read them, you will be better informed. If not, that is cool too, but understand there are very good reasons I take the stances I have on #Deflategate. Off we go!

Soooo….where to start? How about a prediction, you want a prediction?? Sorry, don’t have one. BUT, I will say this, I have read most of the transcripts and filings, and I do not subscribe to the thought that Judge Richard Berman’s clearly antagonistic position to the NFL/Goodell side is all posturing trying to force a settlement. Is there some of that going on? Trust me, almost certainly. By the same token, by my experience, and I have a little, there is simply no way Berman is being as consistently pointed and dubious of one side, the NFL/Goodell, as he has been without being convinced their argument is lame. Yes, judges often play “devil’s advocate”, but what Berman has engaged in strikes me as well beyond that.

So, while I won’t make a prediction, the Brady/NFLPA side must feel pretty positive about how it has gone so far. I am understating that a little.

So, on what grounds do I think Brady and the NFLPA may win on? Two grounds – 1) Notice and 2) Process denial regarding evidence and witnesses by the NFL, to wit, Jeff Pash and related evidence.

First off, the “Notice” argument. A new net friend I have met in this process, but one I greatly respect, Dan Werly, has summarized “Notice” quite well here.

Then there is the “Pash preclusion”. Jeff Pash is the General Counsel to the NFL. He is also its Executive Vice President. Those are not necessarily copascetic if a corporate entity wants to maintain even the reduced semblance of “attorney/client privilege” of having a “corporate counsel”. Seriously, this kind of privilege comes close to vapor when you commingle your attorney with corporate leadership. But that is exactly what the NFL has done here, and much more. And that is peanuts compared to the fact that the NFL made Pash the effective, really de facto, co-independent “investigator” (they even stated it in a press release) along with Ted Wells and then gave Pash editorial control over the so called “Independent Wells Report”. then Goodell refused to make Pash available for testimony, stating that he was irrelevant and privileged.

Ooops, did the arrogant Goodell and the NFL bugger their own ruse beyond belief as to Pash? Yes, and it is crystal clear. Even Judge Berman was incredulous.

pic-5

Then, later…

pic-6

Yes, arbitration decisions are given “great deference” by courts, and generally are not disturbed. But they can be when they present genuine issues of fairness and partiality. #Deflategate may be a silly case to most of the lay public, but these are serious and critical issues in labor law, and if the exacerbated issues in the Brady case cannot be addressed by a court, then pretty much no labor arbitration can ever be. For a far more detailed explication of the Pash problem, see this outstanding piece by Ian Gunn.

I invent the wheel only when I need to (and mostly when clients pay me to); I try to not do so when it has already been done by worthy people before me. Dan Werly, Dan Wallach, Michael McCann, Brian Holland, Alan Milstein, Raffi Melkonian and Ian Gunn are folks that did the hard lifting while I was, mostly, away frolicking at the beach in La Jolla when the most critical filings came out. All fantastic people that I came to know because of Roger Goodell’s #Deflategate folly. Hat’s off to them, as well as Stephanie Stradley with some fantastic early scene setting. These are all serious people that you should follow, not just for #Deflategate, but for any sports related law and thought. I think all, including me, feel Brady and the Players Association have the far better hand, in both posture and presentation, than Goodell and the NFL. Really, it is not even close, though there is no telling what Berman will do in the end. By this time next week, we will know.

Welp, I may have focused on #Deflategate more than I intended. Or not. This post was meant as an acerbic discussion point, not a full on explication, which would have consumed thousands of additional words. F1, and sports in general have just been boring lately, as you can tell by how often I have bothered to write about them. But the legal machinations in #Deflategate have been fascinating, at least to me. The All American boy Brady, the Boris Badanov evil Goodell, the flamboyant crusading Player’s Association lawyer Jeffrey Kessler, the Snidely Whiplash Ted Wells to the calm but annoyed judge Richard Berman. The characters are all there.

So, that’s it. Rock on lug nuts. Trash talk like you are Michael Jordan. Do it up. But, if you don’t agree with my #Deflategate thoughts, you can send some Dead Flowers. By the US Mail. And don’t forget the roses…

Jim Comey Finally Has a Dastardly Criminal Who Made His Texts Unavailable

Jim Comey has been pushing for backdoors, implicitly in iPhones, for months based on the concern that a dastardly criminal might evade investigators by making texts unavailable.

He finally has a dastardly criminal he can point to: Tom Brady.

Screen Shot 2015-07-28 at 2.57.27 PM

If only Jim Comey had his back doors Roger Goodell would be able to sneak in by and and find proof that Tom Brady ordered to have his balls deflated.

Update: Ut oh. In his statement the criminal in question undermines my narrative.

First, Brady suggests that the NFL got all the communications of interest from his interlocutors.

Screen Shot 2015-07-29 at 7.37.55 AM

 

Much more interesting, he reveals he had a Samsung phone, and only got an iPhone6 with his new one.

Screen Shot 2015-07-29 at 7.39.22 AM

 

So Brady wasn’t using iMessage without backup to hide his dastardly evidence.

Time to Burn Lord Jeffrey Amherst’s Genocidal Blankets

Screen Shot 2015-03-11 at 7.34.07 AMThe SAE fraternity racist song — and righteous response of Oklahoma University President David Boren — has focused a lot of attention on campus racism.

But as more attention has focused on what a tradition this song — which invokes lynching positively — is, I realized as an Amherst grad I have no business scolding Oklahoma college students when Amherst college students and alumni still celebrate not just Lord Jeffrey Amherst — a key British general — but also his victory over the French and Native Americans, the latter accomplished by genocide.

This is part of Amherst’s fight song:

Lord Jeffrey Amherst was a soldier of the king
And he came from across the sea,
To the Frenchmen and the Indians he didn’t do a thing
In the wilds of this wild country

But for his Royal Majesty he fought with all his might
For he was a soldier brave and true
He conquered all his enemies whenever they came in sight
And he looked around for more when he was through.

This site, from which the image above was taken, shows Amherst affirmatively contemplating providing smallpox infected blankets to “inoculate” the Native Americans in the same breath as he considered hunting them down with dogs.

And yet Amherst students and alumni (including me) have sung this song boisterously not just in private houses, but in public stadia. This song is even more seared into my unconscious than University of Michigan’s “Leaders and Best,” by a good margin.

They should have ditched the Lord Jeff mascot when women were admitted in the 1970s. Instead, for 3 decades, women have been playing sports as the “Lady Jeffs,” which is pretty dumb.

There is finally a real move to ditch Lord Jeffrey, leading — just weeks ago — to a Lord Jeff information day to explain why he is so offensive. And yet students and alumni are defending the mascot (and, I’m sure that infernal song) based on tradition — the same kind of tradition, it appears, that has led to the longevity of the SAE pro-lynching song.

It’s really fun to beat up on some OU frat boys for their private racism, but the continued celebration of a man known for his genocide is no less offensive.

Emptywheel’s Super Bowl XLIX Trash Talk

Welp, here we are for our last regularly scheduled Trash Talk for the football season. It may be the biggest game of the year, but it is always a tad melancholy because it means no more football. On that note, off we go.

Super Bowl XLIX is right here in the Phoenix Valley of the Sun. Except that it has not been that sunny; in fact, the end of the week has been nothing but rain, starting Thursday and through all day Friday, and it is overcast again this morning as I write. The temperature has been quite moderate and comfortable, but the overcast and rain a real downer. Curiously, none of the fans I have run into, and there are a lot of those, seem to mind in the least; but as a local, I sure hoped for better. That said, all the parties and festivities seem to have gone off just fine, and of course the gorgeous VIP crowd, between all the limos and controlled indoor settings, probably never noticed. In short, so far, so good, despite the inclement weather. I have also had great fun seeing all the Squawkers in their vaunted “12th Man” shirts. To a tee, so to speak, I see them and say “Love yer Number 12 Tom Brady Jersey!”. So far, I have not been punched yet, but there is still time.

There are so many different things to do if you are here and a fan, and it is spread out over the valley. There was the NFL Experience set up at the Phoenix Convention Center Downtown, the seemingly continuously running Super Bowl street party in and around downtown central square, and also the simply idiotic looking huge “Bud Light House of Whatever”, that appeared designed for hollow 20 something twits. 10-12 miles northwest, in Glendale, by the actual University of Phoenix Cardinals stadium, were more stages and whatnot sponsored primarily by DirecTV. I know some of the pretty people were bussed out there, and promptly bussed right out of there as soon as they could. Cause no one with any shred of common sense parties in freaking Glendale when you could be doing it in Scottsdale. Come on man. That is just the way it is, and the way it has always been. And it will always be that way, cause Glendale is a bag of Chalie Brown’s rocks on Halloween. People with money and the appropriate je ne sais quoi wouldn’t be caught dead hanging in Glendale, and that won’t be changing anytime soon.

The fact that the game is in Glendale, but all the real playahs and money somewhere else actually has some real implications locally. Yes, it is what it is, but Glendale has a problem as a result. You see, Glendale is its own municipality; it is not Phoenix, and it sure as hell is not Scottsdale or Tempe. It has its own tax and spending obligations, and it has fucked it up royally, as my friend, and the always excellent, Travis Waldron of Think Progress details:

In a world in which American cities have handed over billions of dollars in public money to finance sports arenas and stadiums, there is perhaps one city that stands above the rest as a warning for what can go wrong when they do so. It just so happens that place is Glendale, Ariz., which will host Super Bowl XLIX this Sunday.

Glendale has spent liberally on sports in the past decade and a half, luring professional hockey, football, and spring training baseball with millions of dollars of its own money and plenty of help from the state. Sunday will mark the second time it has hosted the Super Bowl, and the game’s biggest proponents are, in typical fashion, making the argument that helped sell all of this sporting infrastructure that brought teams and events to Glendale in the first place: it will be a boon for the local economy.
….
The problem is that the Super Bowl almost certainly won’t generate $500 million in economic benefits for Arizona. Economic research has shown that for a variety of reasons — among them: a failure to account for costs, money that leaks out of the local economy, and money that would have been spent anyway or, in the absence of such an event, elsewhere in the city — Super Bowls and other mega-events and the publicly-funded stadiums built to host them virtually never have such an effect. They may provide minimal gains, and sometimes losses, to host cities, but they’re never major shots in the arm. Cities that believe otherwise, about stadiums or the events themselves, run the risk of major trouble.

Travis is right, the “economic stimulus” from major events like Super Bowls, NCAA National Championship games, in both football and basketball (both of which are here in the immediate future), are just never what they are cracked up to be when you factor in the hard costs to host cities. But, it goes a little further than even Travis lets on when the hard costs of the game itself, and ridiculous security therefore, are being paid by a, frankly, minor municipality like Glendale and the real big bucks are being spent in Scottsdale/Paradise Valley and Phoenix. And that, my friends, is exactly what is going on here.

And, then, there is Scottsdale/Paradise Valley. That is where the real players and action are. I live, literally, on the intersection of East Phoenix/Arcadia, Scottsdale and Paradise Valley. Even with an old rotator cuff, I can throw a rock and hit all of them. So, I went to all the glitzy parties and can tell you about them, right? Nope. For one thing, I just don’t care as much anymore, and certainly not enough to work it to get to them. But, secondly, the big money, and exclusivity, is so pervasive now that it is really hard, much more so than it once was, whether for Super Bowl XXX or even XLII.

I didn’t miss the Playboy, Victoria’s Secret or Jerry Jones parties in either of those, but trying to get into the equivalent this year was insane, and I am not going to pay to do so. You think bmaz is gonna pay $350 to go to a Scottsdale bar to hang with lowlife B-level celebs like Drake, Brody Jenner and some idiot, I never in my life heard about, named “William Lifestyle”? Uh, no. I wouldn’t pay a lousy buck to see that trashy shit like that. So, save for a one day pass I got into the ESPN live set gig at Scottsdale Fashion Square, about two miles down the road, I just didn’t partake in the festivities. (Couple pictures from that, here, here and here; featuring mostly my new friend, and totally awesome guy, Tom Jackson) Your Phoenix based Roving Reporter has failed you. Sorry about that. And, no, I won’t be going to the game either. Tickets are, in even the cheapest markets, going for $7,500 – $10,000 for any seat, and WAY more for a reasonable seat, to the game. If I had tickets, I would sell them and buy a new car, or a Cessna, or something.

Alright, let us get to the only thing that matters in a game between the two best teams in football. Deflategate. Roger Goodell was his normal sack of salted dicks self in his press conference here. What a bullshit joke. Goodell is an embarrassment. He and the NFL have ignorantly, stupidly, and against the interests of the league and the Super Bowl, weakly and cravenly not just allowed, but actively encouraged, the ginning up of the non-story of Deflategate into something that has consumed the oxygen of the Super Bowl. The only thing that matters to tight ass billionaire owner driven cracker like Roger Goodell is the money. First he looks at the purse. Players health, and fans’ desires are not even really on the list.

If that is not enough incompetence to get Goodell fired, on the heels of the ignorant and incompetent handling of the Ray Rice situation, I guess there is no such thing as incompetence to the beyond hubristic and arrogant NFL owners. As a fan, fuck that shit. Goodell and the vaunted “NFL Shield” are craven, self serving, pathetic reactionaries worried far more about covering their gravy train asses than being positive, proactive, forces for good in society. Oh, and by the way, their “evidence” and “investigation” is, once, as always, total shit. So far, the NFL has a an equipment manager that had the misfortune of taking a piss in a bathroom and a bunch of physics that even all the best scientists now admit actually could support the Patriots. What a load of sensationalistic crap. Without more (which Goodell and his crying ass stooge Ted Wells may well try to falsely gin up, same as the asinine “Mueller Report”), Bob Kraft, Tom Brady and BillBel are indeed owed an apology. As Bill Simmons said in a couple of tweets on Twitter:

The NFL is searching for a person of interest who dressed like a referee and didn’t write down the measurements of 12 footballs. We spent 3 days talking about a ball boy taking a piss. Meanwhile Walt Anderson was approving footballs with his gut feelings. What a farce.

Alright. As to the game. Yeah, sorry, there are no more cheap ass platitudes on the elusiveness and brains of Russell Wilson, the strength of the Squawks defense, the greatness of Brady and the brilliance of BillBel’s game scheming. It is all out there, but I am done with that tripe, cause at this point it is all bullshit. These are two different and both wonderfully constructed and coached teams. One will win, and one won’t. We’ll see.

Music today, at the top, is INXS. Irrespective of the team you support, sometimes you kick, and sometimes you get kicked (as lifelong Packers fan, trust me). Also, the Brady’s Balls AC/DC thing is really well done. Don’t miss the J. Geils I added late, cause it is everything. Lastly, I especially love the Favre and Carve spot (one of several related Wix spots), though, truth be told, Headmistress, and my boss, Ms. Wheel made me do it! So, thanks to one and all for a great football season. We will see you again when the start of the F1 Circus begins and/or the force moves us. You are, all, truly and always, the greatest.

Let’s rock this joint lug nuts! Gronk on bitchezz!!

NFL Conference Championship Trash Talk

Back by popular demand, and in the face of kudzu like anti-sports grumps, it is Emptywheel’s Famous Football Trash Talk! The field is now down to four Green Bay at Seattle, and Indianapolis at New England.

The early game is the one that Phred and I will be glued to the TV for. The Packers return to the hostile confines of Seattle’s Century Link field to face the Seahawks. This is exactly where the first NFL regular season game was played this year. In that meeting, the Squawks owned the Packers. Green Bay’s defense looked unable to cope with Russell Wilson, and Rodgers refused to throw a single pass to Richard Sherman’s side of the field and Seattle waltzed away with an easy 36-16 win.

But a lot has changed in the interim. Seattle has developed their young receivers, but has lost the game changing explosiveness of Percy Harvin. And Green Bay has changed their defense around a bit with Clay Matthews being moved inside much more frequently, especially on obvious passing defense downs. But late in the season, Matthews was playing inside even on run defense because AJ Hawk just wasn’t physical enough to get it done. It seems like a small change, but the difference has been palpable. The Pack’s defense is far better than it was early in the season. Green Bay’s offense seems to be healthy and firing on all cylinders. Except one, and that is a big one, of the Discount Doublecheck variety.

I expect Rodgers will be slightly more mobile, and confident of his ability to move laterally, this week than last week against the Cowboys. He will need to be, because Seattle’s defense is a lot more lethal than Dallas’ was. The key will be whether Eddy Lacy can get untracked early and establish the run to a reasonable extent. Lacy has been healthy and very solid of late, so there is hope. If Cliff Avril, Bruce Irvin and Michael Bennett are allowed to constantly pressure Rodgers, it will be the end of the line for the Cheese. However, if the Green Bay O-line and Lacy can take some pressure off, Rodgers has the downfield accuracy to beat Seattle. That’s a big if. The Squawks are 7.5 point favorites, and I think that is maybe low. Seattle is headed here to the Super Bowl.

In the second game, the Colts go east to tilt with the Patriots. Frankly, I didn’t think Indy could beat the Broncos at Mile High. But they did, and it was not as close as the 24-13 score indicated. Andrew Luck was everywhere, extending plays and throwing darts. And the Colts’ defense was spectacular in their ability to wrap up and tackle relentlessly. There are not a lot of known names on the Indy defense, but they have been pretty impressive in this postseason.

The Pats. What is left to be said about the Patriots at this point? Tom Brady, Darrell Revis and the best coach in football, they have all of that and a Gronk. But if the Patriots want an eighth Super Bowl appearance, which would tie them for the most in NFL history (Pittsburgh and Dallas), they will likely have to do it without center Bryan Stork, who injured a knee last week. The Pats will likely go back to emphasizing their rushing attack against Indy, after gaining a historical low of 14 net yards rushing against Terrell Suggs and the Ravens. And the Pats have lit up the Colts on the ground in the past, so expect Belichick to go back to LeGarrette Blount and Bolden far more heavily Sunday. The Colts are game I am sure, but the Pats are a 6.5 point favorite and I think they will cover that and win easily.

There you have it. This is our last Sunday of football before Super Bowl XLIX, which happens to be right here in Phoenix. Time will tell who gets to Phoenix. Drink and chat it up people. Music by Phoenix’s own Glen Campbell.

NCAA Football Championship Trash Talk (after NFL games)

UPDATE: Allright Emptywheel lugnuts, here is yer update to the post I said would serve all huge games this expanded weekend. Not much has changed on my original discussion below, however, Oregon had a number 3 receiver, Darren Carrington, suspended because of a terminally stupid positive pot test.

Both teams are not at perfect strength, so disregard the injury/suspension factor. Ohio State stands a better shot than most may think. I still think the Sweatervests will not be able to put down the Duckies. Cause you just cannot put down the Duck. And I am, despite my betting losses on Oregon in previous years, going to stick with that.

I went 3 for 4 in predictions on the NFL, but suffered a painful loss when the Colts stomped the Broncos and now confirmed peg legged Capt. Manning. Oh well, my bad.

Enjoy our first playoff NCAA Championship game! In honor of that, I have sacked the two offending Packers love songs and inserted some Quack shit. Cause the Duckies will NOT be put down (please see the new video attached.)]
.
………

The first game up is Baltimore at New England. The Ravens seem to be the trendy pick these days, and they certainly are capable of wandering into the Big Razor and knocking off the Pats. Flacco, Suggs and yadda, yadda, yadda. I don’t think so. The Pats are a touchdown favorite, and there is good reason for that. Brady and Gronk are rocking and have a hard nosed running game with Blount. Add in that the Ravens are not all that strong in the secondary and it spells success for the Pats. Throw in the shutdown ability of Darrelle Revis and Brandon Browner for the Pats in the secondary and there you go.

Second game is the late game Saturday, Carolina at Seattle. Love to see the Panthers pull off the massive upset so there might could be Conference title game at Lambeau, but that just is not happening. The Panthers are better than their record reflects, especially at this point in the season, but the Squawks are not the quarterback less Cardinals and this game is in Seattle.

Sunday early game is the game of the week. Naturally, the Cowboys at Packers, Ice Bowl II. ‘Boys won all their road games this year, Pack won all their home games. Lately Romo has been performing in a Rodgers like manner. Cowboys have the running game edge with Murray and Aaron Rodgers is got a gimpy calf. If this game was straight offense against offense, I’d have to take the ‘Boys. But defense wins playoff games, and on the Frozen Tundra, I trust the Packers’ defense more than that of Dallas. This is probably a net toss-up in my mind. Oddsmakers have Green Bay as a 5.5 point favorite. I don’t know about that, but I think they find a way to eek out the win.

Last game is Colts at Broncos. I was stunned that the Colts looked so good last weekend. They really did. But this game is not indoors in Indy, it is late afternoon/evening at Mile High. That is a whole nuther thing, Peyton has great numbers at home, and finally has Julius Thomas back and healthy. The two Thomases, Welker and Emmanuel Sanders are too much firepower for Indy to handle, and Von Miller will be bothering Andrew Luck. Toss in the vastly improved Denver running game with C.J. Anderson, and you can see why the Broncs are a touchdown favorite, and I think they will cover that.

The Cowboys are not there, but there is a big game at Jerryworld in Dallas. The first ever College Football Playoff Championship. Oregon, and I am still shocked by this, Ohio State. The Ducks just flat rolled Florida State, can OSU keep up with their high octane offense? I am tempted to say no, but Michigan State played Oregon awfully tough early in the year, so maybe. Cardale Jones is a load, and he can throw too. No way I am picking against the Quackers here, but if Ohio State plays like they did last week again, they can win. But Urban Meyer would be absolutely insufferable with a third national title, so he must be stopped, and I think the Ducks finally get their crystal trophy. If the Ducks lose, it may be because their receiving corps is depleted, both from injuries and from stupidity.

Okay, sorry about the music selections, but PHRED MADE ME DO IT! Actually, Phred wanted Let’s Go Lambeau by the Bodeans as the music. I did too, but it is not on You Tube. You can hear it at this link though, and it really rocks. If the Cheese get by the ‘Boys, maybe I will try to make a music video of it for next week.

2014 Wildcard Weekend NFL Trash Talk

It is wildcard weekend and there are four awesome games on tap. Let’s get to them.

First up is the snake bit 11-5 Cardinals visiting the 7-8-1 Carolina Panthers. In a sane seeding system, this game would be in Phoenix as the Cards have 4 more wins than Carolina. This may actually occur with some playoff reforms the NFL is considering for next year. But this is Roger Goodell’s NFL and things are not necessarily sane. That said, the edge has to go to the Panthers. They have been on a late season roll and playing very good ball. Both Cam Newton on offense and Luke Kuechly on defense are just killing it. Newton is not running up big numbers at all, but he is managing the game and not hurting the team any longer. The Panthers allowed the second fewest points in the league over the last four games, and the Cardinals struggled to score points at all over that stretch. Ryan Lindley is back at QB for Arizona. He is not good, but certainly played a lot better in the regular season finale against the Niners. Hey, if Ohio State can wax Bama with a third string QB, maybe there is hope for Lindley and the Cardinals. But I don’t think so; Panthers are a six point favorite, and that sounds about right.

Next up is the late game today, Ravens at Steelers. Pittsburgh is hit hard by the loss of Le’Veon Bell, who was really balancing out the load for Roethlisberger. Everybody knows about the Ravens’ knack for getting on a playoff roll, so they are a scary team. But Big ben and the Stillers can do that too, and they are at home, where they are 3-0 against the Ravens in playoff games. I’ll take the Steelers again in a close one.

The early game Sunday is Cincinnati at the Colts. The Bengals haven’t won a playoff game since Ickey Woods and Boomer Esiason were leading them. And the Colts are at home and have Andrew Luck. Still, something has seemed off about the Colts down the stretch and the Bungles seemed to be getting their groove back a little…other than when they played the Steelers. I think the Bengals will get the job done in an upset.

The last game is maybe the best one, Detroit at Dallas. Somehow, the appeal reduced Ndamukong Suh’s penalty for stomping on the Most Valuable Player in the NFL to a fine, so he is not suspended for this game, which is huge for Detroit. The Lions will need Suh to keep DeMarco Murray from running wild. Murray proved last week that he can play with his injured thumb. Romo is on a serious roll, and playing the best QB of his career. Detroit also gets center Dominic Raiola back from a one game suspension too. Everything seems to be in the ‘Boys favor in this game, with the exception they are an average home team at best. Dallas is a 6.5 point favorite, and that sounds right. It will take a hell of a game out of the Kittehs to win this, and I just don’t see it.

Those are my picks, what you have to say??

[ew: WTF with Trash Talk with no music YouTubes? Added Lou Reed cause you gotta have something.]