Fast Trash!

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I’ve been busy lately; sorry about that. On a positive note, that is likely good for you readers. Nevertheless, this is the fastest and most awesomest weekend imaginable, it is a holiday weekend and time to blow some trash talk around. There is a convergence on Sunday of the Grand Prix du Monte Carlo (Monaco), the Indianapolis 500 and, yes Elizabeth, those good ole boys will be circle jerkin at the Coca Cola 600 in Concorde, North Carolina. Lotta horsepower.

First up to bat is arguably the biggest auto race in the world, the Grand Prix of Monaco. The legendary street course in the Principality is treacherous and nerve wreaking for the drivers. Ususally you simply cannot win at Monaco unless you start in one of the top four spots on the grid, because it is very difficult to pass on the narrow course full of tunnels, hairpins and chicanes. Jenson Button, driving for the brand new Russ Brawn team (Brawn took over the remnants of the defunct longtime Honda team that quit F1 due to financial concerns), is leading the points chase and has won a shocking four out of the first five GPs this year. Button has a 14 point lead on Rubens Barricholo, his Brawn teammate. Sebastian Vettel is third, 18 points back. I got up and watched qualifying this morning out on the patio as dawn came over Camelback Mountain. Was beautiful. Button is on pole, with Ferrari’s Kimi Raikkonen joining him on the front row (a first for a Ferrari this year, they may be finally sorting the bugs out of their rides). Rubens and Vettel are in the second row, with Ferrari’s Felipe Massa in P5. For those of you not familiar with the historic circuit through the streets of Monte Carlo, I have attached a cool music video with footage from the 2003 race to give a flavor for how hair raising it really is (See also here). Should be a great race, and the festivities start at 7:30 am EST on Speed Channel. I think this is a real shot for a Ferrari breakthrough for either Kimi or Massa.

250px-2009_indianapolis_500svg.thumbnail.pngNext up is the Indianapolis 500. Indy used to be called "The Greatest Spectacle In Racing". Somehow or another, it just doesn’t have the lustre it used to; but it is still one hell of a race. This year will mark the 93rd running. There was a nice little article in the LA Times yesterday on the history of Indy. This year, Helio Catroneves has pole, joined by Ryan Briscoe and Mr. Ashley Judd (Dario Franchitti) on the front row. There are three women making the field, but only Danica Patrick, starting from P10 on the inside of the fourth row, has a legitimate shot a winning; Sarah Fisher and Milka Dunno just do not have winning machinery. Here is the starting grid. My guess is a Team Penske car will win, likely Castroneves, but it could be Briscoe. Helio is on a roll; the government just dropped the remnants of the tax evasion case against him after he kicked the DOJ’s pitiful ass in the main part of the trial last month.

Now, what would trash talk be without a little football?? Today’s comment goes out to fans of the New York Jets. Hey, congratulations Jets, Jets, Jets fans, you have drafted Matt Leinart! Seriously, here in Arizona, we know about drafting the big time, good looking Hollywood quarterback from USC. It worked out so well we had to reclaim Kurt Warner from the dust heap to lead the Cardinals. Kellen Clemens ain’t no Kurt Warner, so you Jets fans better get Sanchez out of the limelight and into the film and training rooms pronto.

Lastly, you will find a music video of Tattooed Lady from Rory Gallagher, which I send out to my new Irish friend I am about to throw down with next Tuesday. It’s a holiday weekend Wheelers and Wheelees, let’s rumble!

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68 replies
  3. freepatriot says:

    Indy used to be called “The Greatest Spectacle In Racing”. Somehow or another, it just doesn’t have the lustre it used to;

    it went down hill after it was bought by the bidwell family

    no, wait, that was the Cards

    there was an inheritance issue, and the dickwad guy won

    I don’t remember the guy’s name, but he got in a pissing match with CART, started the IRL, and basically destroyed the prominence of the Indy 500 in the process

    it was the most exciting thing in racing since the goodyear eagle, if ya ask me

  4. plunger says:

    I photographed the Monaco Grand Prix in 1988 – right at the water’s edge on a flagman’s position next to the yachts. Also had an all access pass to photograph the Indy 500 – hot pits, luxury suites, trackside, everywhere. Though completely different, both represent the pinnacle of racing.

  5. bmaz says:

    I have been to 10-12 GPs; there is simply nothing like it. Monaco i was scheduled to go to in 1973, but missed because I got mono and couldn’t travel. Never got another chance like that again. I would pretty much tade all mine for a full boat Monaco adventure; you are very lucky.

  6. CTMET says:

    What??? No mention of NASCAR Coca-Cola 600? What are you some kinda islamofascist socialist?

  7. bobschacht says:

    What? No trash talk about the Lakers, who at this instant are trying to dispose of the pesky Denver Nuggets, who weren’t even supposed to be in the playoffs? And why are the Cavs having to depend on last second shots by LeBron James in order to beat Orlando? Is a funny thing happening on the way to Kobe vs. LeBron in the finals?

    Bob in HI

  8. chetnolian says:

    Camelback? Didn’t realise you were in the Phoenix area Bmaz. I’m in Mesa in a couple of weeks and would love to explain all about British supremacy in F1 and motor racing in general; I know one of your prejudices is that if it ain’t German it’s inferior! OK they do good engines!

  9. Gunner says:

    Woo hoo Kimi in the front row about time! hey two cool vids I always was a Rory fan, oh and btw bmaz is the Irish friend MR EW? if so you in for a good time he is a kick!

  11. Quebecois says:

    Hey bmaz, an exciting season of f1 so far. The aerodynamic package has done what it promised, give enough grip on the front wheels to be able to pass. Closer racing, but still a weird visual.

    Honda, as I said a few weeks back has to be kicking themselves in the nuts. I think that Brawn developped such a stable chassis, that even a Honda engine would have seen them crowding the front. Button is having a ton of fun, and driving solidly.

    Still, I look at Vettel go round and round, and I put him only a click under Senna, as far as talent goes. This kid is so impressive.

    Ecclestone has to go, he’s like the Cheney of Formula One. He likes to torture everyone…

  13. pseudonymousinnc says:

    Ususally you simply cannot win at Monaco unless you start in one of the top four spots on the grid, because it is very difficult to pass on the narrow course full of tunnels, hairpins and chicanes.

    Used to be so in the days when you carried the entire race’s fuel load. (It’s a short, demanding race by GP standards, because the circuit is so small and tight, and there’s nowhere to take a mental break.) Now, it comes down to pit strategy, not making stupid mistakes — grid position is important now because of the early dash, and the risk of shunts — avoiding traffic, and hoping that the car holds up on you. OTOH, Lewis Hamilton’s win last year was epic: early puncture, changing conditions, smart crew, smart driving.

  15. Peterr says:

    When I think of racecar drivers, one of the drivers that is always at or near the top of my list is Mario Andretti. He won the Indy 500 (1969), the Dayton 500 (1967), and the F1 championship (1978).

  16. bmaz says:

    The real “Triple Crown” of motorsports has always been The Indy 500, Monaco Grand Prix and LeMans. Only two in history have ever won both Indy and Monaco, Graham Hill and Juan Montoya. Only one has ever won all three, Graham Hill.

    • pbfishtaco says:

      When I was growing up in the 60’s, none of my friends even knew what F1 was. All my heroes were F1 drivers (roundy rounders were boring to me).

      Graham Hill would likely never have a shot at driving F1 today. Didn’t he start out as a mechanic, and not get his first shot at professional racing until he was, like 29 years old? The demands of the sport now..too much money, more demanding cars…..he’d never have a shot unless he bought his way onto a team. Do drivers do that any more?

      I haven’t followed F1 in years, and don’t get the speed channel…alas I only get to listen to my neighbor without kids start up his ’80s Carrera, and remember riding around in my dad’s 356. Thanks, bmaz for the memories.

    • emptywheel says:

      I did a comment back in the Haggis days, and I think my take is the same for Senator Scrapple.

      The signing statement stuff is good.

      The SCOTUS review for FISA stuff is a crapshoot. And he’s still trying to replace immunity with his stupid substitute. Hell, it’s gonna be heard by the 9th soon, right? Let’s see what Kennedy has to say about it.

      Scrapple. Same as the old Haggis, without the stomach.

  20. jackie says:

    completely not about racing, but this is an interesting mixture of companies…Is there a Bush in the mix somewhere?

    ‘Private equity firms have bought BankUnited, the 34th American bank to fail this year.

    Private equity firms paid $900m (£568m) to rescue the bank, whose closure will cost the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp $4.9bn.

    BankUnited, the largest bank in Florida, had about $13bn of assets and $8.6 billion of deposits.

    The bank has been hit hard by the sale of risky home loans. It will open on Friday under its new management.

    The buying consortium includes WL Ross & Co, Carlyle Group, Blackstone Group and Centerbridge Partners. The FDIC and the new bank will share losses on about $10.7bn in assets.’

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8062933.stm

  22. rosalind says:

    ot: sonic boom alert for so cal – shuttle atlantis lands at edwards in 15 minutes (8:39am PST)

  23. dmac says:

    dick gregory
    abe lincoln
    what a contrast.

    my dad dislikes the first initial-middle name thing..his face gets a ‘tic’ when he hears it..
    if you are going by your middle name, why the first initial? let it goooooo.
    says it’s pretentious.

    t. boone

    g. gordon

    orville redenbacher, had to say it, just because.

  24. scribe says:

    Classy by Castrovneves. After weeping disconsolately in the cockpit of his car for literally minutes, he thanked “The Lord, my team, Mr. Penske, and his defense attorney (whose name I didn’t get) and his associates. They gave me my life back.”

    All before he sipped some milk.

    The feds dropped the remaining charges – the ones on which the jury had hung – Friday.

    It’s nice to hear defense lawyers praised like that….

  25. bmaz says:

    Heh, yeah more athletes should thank their defense lawyers. There are certainly enough that need them. Castroneves has always been a very personable and likable chap though, it was good to see him win.

  26. freepatriot says:

    It’s nice to hear defense lawyers praised like that….

    4 out of five acquitted defendants agree, lawyers are okay

    I fully endorse this product, service, or message

  27. freepatriot says:

    conversely, 4 out of five convicted defendants think lawyers suck

    which makes me wonder what Shakespeare was convicted of

    and if there is a name for the irrational anger some people experience upon meeting a person with two first names

    but I don’t worry about that second part much, cuz all of my anger is rational

    no phobias here, folks

    I’m just afraid of havin large crowds of people looking at me. but in my business, that’s just self preservation. if more than 12 people start checkin me out …

    an since I’m mixing phobias an fears, y’all prolly figured out I ain’t no docter

    that don’t bother me either

    nope

    perfectly normal …

    an what was the final score for that Indy 1000 left turn thingy ???

    I’ll be here all week, try the veal, it really pisses PETA off, so it must be good

      • Gunner says:

        bmaz great link I had the LP humble pie live at the filmore with that tune. there are alot of other cool related vids there. on another note I know of course your a big F1 guy.
        But if you want ot watch some real exciting racing check out World super bike next Sunday on speed. A kid from Texes named Ben spices A rookie this year has a chance at the championship were talking side by side racing a 200 MPH even if your not a big bike fan it is great!

        • bmaz says:

          I will check it out; please remind me to do so. I have some experiences racing motorcycles as a kid and teenager. Different because it was motocross, but still. Another day for that discussion.

      • freepatriot says:

        A song ???

        fer ME ???

        you like me

        you really really like me

        /sally fields

        (wink)

        I’m just sad that I can’t watch it, my IT guy ain’t figured out what I did to screw up my downloading ability when I was downloadin them songs from pepsi back in December …

        after I used a computer a couple a weeks, they’re pretty much unfixable

        ya want an example; I was using my friend’s laptop, an it was runnin slow, so I bumped the mouse (okay, I slammed it), and the browser page rotated 90 degrees counterclockwise, from the top of the laptop to the left side of the laptop. now it reads sideways, an nobody knows why

        well uhm, we know “why”, but we got no clue how I did it, or how to fix it

        we just stopped opening that user set

        the problem has been successfully ignored

        if ya has an idea of what I might have done to dude’s computer, or ya got a computer you need to have fucked up, chime in

        I’m a computer wizard, from the dark side, I provide great challenges for people who fix things

        so, bmaz, can I borrow yer computer for a sec …

  28. freepatriot says:

    now that I think of it, the Indy 500 deserves our support

    after all, it’s a liberal race

    100% lefty

    there’s no real point to this comment. I’m just trying to get a repuglitard some where to introduce a bill to change the racing direction at tracks across America

    I live for the comedy of it all …

    and yes, I’m convinced repuglitards can’t read italicized letters, even thought they lean right

  29. Gunner says:

    I have been watching or going to the Indy 500 for 40 years and todays race really sucked! BORING

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