Keith Alexander Wants to Patent Having No Knowledge
Have you noticed that every time someone covers all the patents Keith Alexander is getting for his cybersecurity boondoggle, the number of patents grows?
In this installment, it is 10.
IronNet is working with lawyers to draft as many as 10 patent applications in which the NSA would have no stake. Alexander said the “real key” to the patents was a person who never worked for the agency.
[snip]
In addition to dispensing advice, IronNet is working with lawyers to draft as many as 10 patent applications that will include Alexander as co-inventor on one and “maybe a few others,” he said.
Of course, no matter how many patents it will be, Alexander is still left with the problem of explaining either why this isn’t stuff taxpayers paid for at NSA, or why Alexander didn’t implement these whiz-bang solutions while in charge of NSA.
So he’s inching closer and closer to one that might work: he’s going to patent having no knowledge.
Current cybersecurity strategies assume the defender knows what threats are present, and can quickly identify them by their digital profile, known as their signature. Alexander said IronNet’s approach is to counter those attacks as quickly as possible, without that prior knowledge.
“All the patents and stuff that people work on today assume knowledge of the threat,” he said. “What it means is a new approach. Something that’s never been used.”
It’s surely a novel approach — attacking perceived threats before you’re sure what that threat is. I’m just not sure how well it’s going to work.
While Alexander is busy shoring up his 10, 11, 12 patents, I think I’ll rush to copyright my new novel, in which a hubristic cybersecurity profiteer takes down the entire banking system by attacking core finance functions he identifies as attacks.
quote”While Alexander is busy shoring up his 10, 11, 12 patents, I think I’ll rush to copyright my new novel, in which a hubristic cybersecurity profiteer takes down the entire banking system by attacking core finance functions he identifies as attacks.”unquote
Bahahahahahahahahahaha! Another lightning quick beheading of Ignoramus Preposterus by emptywheels samurai sword of wit.
So the master tailor for the emperor is now going to offer the financial bigwigs the same wonderful outfit that all of the sycophants so oooooh and aaaaah over.
Imagine the expression on Jamie Dimon’s face as he admires the new rags in the mirror.
“It’s surely a novel approach — attacking perceived threats before you’re sure what that threat is. I’m just not sure how well it’s going to work.”
What a set-up! Best ever!
Here’s my follow-up – anyone else?
“I’ll tell you! It works great! Just look at how our Iraq-WMD invasion played out!”
” Alexander said IronNet’s approach is to counter those attacks as quickly as possible, without that prior knowledge.”
Reminds me of the “kill them all let God (Alexander) sort it out” approach. A bit like droning?
Oh, oh, can I have a chapter, please. Think predictive analysis that NSA has been investing in heavily. Not only can Keith bring down the financial system by attacking unknown threats, he can destroy individuals because they have the potential to threaten the banks by missing a future payment. The threat to bidness from potential bounced checks provides a whole secondary set of targets. Readers of this blog beware, you too are a risk factor…
“We stopped 12 unidentified threats using unidentified means this week. We cannot release any information about the threats for security reasons. Please remit your payment.”
Otherwise known as the “Emperor has no clothes, but you’re paying for the wardrobe” business model.
Having spent somewhere over 30,000 hours working in the Business Intelligence industry over the last 20 years I am confident Alexander is selling vapor.
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He might be able to identify historic trends and weighted likelihoods but he can’t actually predict anything.
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No one can.
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And if he could, why would he sell it to anyone?
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If I had an algorithm or means that permitted me to accurately and regularly predict anything, even by 30 seconds, before anyone else knew of it, I could rule the world.
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Alexander is a conman who has fooled captains and kings and continues to do so.
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If he disappeared tomorrow the world would not change one iota.
Amen to that.