Trash Talk: It Comes Out Of The Swamp Cool and Slow….

/in , /by

Comes out of the Virginia swamps

Cool and slow with plenty of precision

With a back beat narrow and hard to master

Some call it heavenly in it’s brilliance

Others, mean and ruthful of the Western dream….

I love the friends I have gathered together on this thin raft

We have constructed pyramids in honor of our escaping

Yes, it is the Texas Radio and the Big Beat. But, more importantly, it is this week’s Trash Talk …. and Sharktopus! Before we get down to this week’s slate of sporting festivities, we here at the incomparable Emptywheel blog have a truly special announcement! In one short week, on Saturday night September 25, 2010, we will be proudly going where no blog has gone before (thankfully probably). Yes, we will be liveblogging, FDL Mystery Theater 3000 style, the grand world premier of the movie of the century, Sharktopus!

As a special taser – er, teaser – I have attached the amazing trailer from this certain Oscar winning celluloid classic. And, thanks to the miracle that is cable TeeVee, you too will be able to watch and participate from the comfort of yer own abodes (i.e. For those scoring at home, and even those alone). This event will, MST3K style, be hosted by me, Eli from FDL and, if we can get her likkered up enough, Marcy (she needs some encouragement!). The event will go off next Saturday night at 9:00 pm EST, 6:00 pm PST/FDL time. The bar here will be open 20-30 minutes before the curtains go up. Bring your bikinis and shark repellant!

Student Athaletes: Okay, I’m going homer this week. And I ain’t talking Simpson. The game of the week is Iowa at Arizona. The 9th ranked Hawks fly into the 24th ranked Cat lair. Both teams are 2-0, and this is an always intense and entertaining Pac-10/Big-10 matchup – and not even in the Rose Bowl (that never happened except in the Rose Bowl when I was growing up; else Bo Schembechler and Woody Hayes would have lost a lot more games). Two very top tier quarterbacks, Ricky Stanzi for the Hawks and Nick Foles for the Cats. Both teams have potent offenses and tough defenses to date in the still young season. You have to give the coaching edge to Iowa’s Kirk Farentz over the Benny Stulwiz like Bob Stoops for Arizona. But the contest is a night game on Bear Down Field in Tucson and that is special; Cats win in an upset.

Sticking with the homer routine, the other game of the day (I hope; cross my fingers, otherwise it could be a rout), is ASU at Camp Randall Stadium to visit the Wisconsin Badgers. Another Pac-10/Big-10 hookup. Just doesn’t seem right, but there you have it. I actually have friends with more dollars than sense who have travelled up to the Land ‘O Cheese to get a brat and see the game. Suckers. The Badgers are 11th ranked and always solid, if rarely exciting. The Badgers have a superior ground game, with the Devils having the slight edge at quarterback with Michigan transfer Steve Threet. ASU has also gone to the popular spread offense this year and they often run it hurry up style.. ASU is better tha people think, but the Big Bad Badgers are to much for them at Camp Randall.

Florida at Rocky Top to visit the Vols might be interesting if Florida keeps playing like a run of the mill team; but they should be able to get by the rebuilding in the wake of Hurricane Kiffin Vols. Number 8 Nebraska goes to Seattle to take on Jake Locker and the Washington Huskies. This has got upset written all over it; Huskies remind the Cornfuskers they are just an average team – like Notre Dame – now. Lastly we got the Texas-Texas Tech tilt. With no Mike Leach on the sidelines, no way the Red Raiders keep up with the Whorens. Both schools are down a little, but Texas at least has a continuity facto and that is enough. Special mention for Pirates of the Gulf Coast, the Cougs of Houston and Casey Keenum travel to Rodeo Drive 90210 to visit UCLA. The Bruins are terribly disappointing and Keenum and the Cougs should win easy.

Professional Athaletes: Thunder Island is the talk of the town this weekend. Randy Moss promises to bring the old time Brady to Moss thunder and Darrelle Revis swears he is still an island. But that would be an island with a tight hamstring per the latest hard knock pre-excuse from the running mouth Jets. Sorry, Pats go 2-0 and put themselves in the division catbird seat while the still lost Mark Sanchez and the Jets fall to 0-2.

The remaining slate of games is not all that exciting, but there are a couple to note. Cardinals at Atlanta will tell us a lot about both teams. Cards won a squeaker last week but looked crappy on offense; Dirty Birds lost their opener to teh Stillers and do not want to go down to 0-2 in what was supposed to be a promising season. This game is a toss up. Same analysis holds for the Ravens at Bengals, but the strong wind is with Ray Lewis and the Ravens as Cinci bungles to 0-2. Sea Squawks at Doncos looks interesting; I may regret this, but I will take the Squawks. Lastly, the Manning Bowl. Dunno why, but I just cannot get as excited about this as I should. There seems to be some air let out of the Peytons these days and the Giants have been pretty blase ever since their improbable SuperBowl run a couple of years ago. But the Colts have the better Manning and better receivers for him to throw to, so I will take the Colts.

In the also ran category, I got the Saints over the Niners, Bolts over Jags, Raiders rout the Rams, Texans trample the Skins (could be good game though), Eagles and Mike Vick run wild on the Matt Stafford-less Lions, Vikings rebound over the Fish, Chiefs go to 2-0 over the Brownies, Panthers over Bucs, Packers obliterate the Bills at Lambeau, Cowboys and Bears and Stillers and Titans are both pick-ems. There is your schedule, get to talking about it folks

Might as well trash this joint, because after the Sharktopus rapture weekend a week from now, there will be no turning back. Let er rip. For the children.

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  1. scribe says:

    There are reasonable, knoweldgeable people who belive it is well within the realm of possibility that the J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS will start the season 0-3, and 0-2 in their division.

    I agree with them. What I have been hearing out of Patsies land is that people are feeling a vibe from the Pats to the effect of “they’re going to do bad things to the Jets.”

    Expect Revis to come up lame in all departments save his big mouth.

    Also, do not overlook that last week, in the first half of the game, the J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS lost their nose tackle for the season, to an ACL. The same knee and same ACL he blew out last year, spent the whole year rehabbing, and then blew out again. “You can run on the Jets” is in the air. Expect Cheatin’ Bill to exploit that. He’s got film. Expect Sanchez to wind up seeing visions of Inez Sainz’ … attributes, but no TDs.

    As to the Peytons v. Elis, I have to say the same thing will obtain: “You can run on the Colts”, proven by the Texans last week. That game may have been the biggest game in Texans history, as it seems to announce they (finally) have arrived as a team to be reckoned with. Big Blue has always tried to have a good running game – let’s see if they can pull it off.

    As to my Stillers, we are considering last week’s win as a bonus. It was ugly, but no “W” is too ugly to embrace. (Ok, one of them is, but that one ain’t in football.) Winning this week would be a similar bonus. I expect some good smashmouth play but, since the Titans did not get Haynesworth back, expect the Good Guys in Black to get the better of the defensive battles. If we can come out of the Ben-less stretch at 2-2, we’ll be happy. Better than that, we’re ecstatic – we’ll party like it’s 1976 when, behind the immortal Mike Kruczek as QB, the Stiller D stepped up and shut down the rest of the league. FWIW, that ’76 D allowed 28 points in the 9 games between Bradshaw’s injury and the end of the season, including 5 shutouts and 2 games where all the opposition got was a single FG.

    I’m hopeful….

    And I expect the rehabilitation of Michael Vick to continue apace.

    I’m of two minds on the Redskins. On the one hand, it would be nice to see McNabb shove it in the face of the Boo-birds and Iggles management. On the other – and this is the heavier of the two pans on the scale – there is no obnoxious like “Winning Redskins Fans” obnoxious. They take it to a whole new level and I don’t want to have to deal with it. They put J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS fans and coaches to shame when it comes to bringing the obnoxious.

    Let’s hope Mike Singletary’s team meeting after getting off the plane (Y’wanna bet someone was having too much (=any) fun on the plane?) had a salutary effect. I would like to see him and his team succeed.

    • scribe says:

      that ‘76 D allowed 28 points in the 9 games between Bradshaw’s injury and the end of the season, including 5 shutouts and 2 games where all the opposition got was a single FG.

      You forgot just how good, how dominant that Steel Curtain defense was, didn’t ya? WE didn’t.

      Now I gotta go get some pierogi from the church ladies.

    • emptywheel says:

      What’d you save up all week for this game?

      As to the Patsies Jets matchup, the key matchup is gonna be Kyle Wilson on Wes Welker. Last week, Wilson looked like a flat footed frosh. If that continues this week, game over, the whole Revis side show will be just that. I’m still very skeptical about my Patsies, but I’m gonna take them bc I don’t want to miss the opportunity to jump on a 2-0 bandwagon, if it happens.

      I am very much looking forward to the Manning Bowl. Again, I’m gonna take the Gents, because I think they’ve got a decent shot there, and if they win, I wanna be able to say I was on the right side of rooting against Peyton (for the record, Serena is also my favorite Williams sister).

      I am also looking forward to the Ravens-Bungles game, partly bc I want to see if the Bungles are as bad as they looked last week, and partly bc the AFC north (well, except the Mangy Brownies) are so much fun to watch. Can someone remind me how the Bungles did so well last year?

      • scribe says:

        What’d you save up all week for this game?

        Yup. Fer starters, I had some soup sit badly and, for even more reasons than that, I got me plenty of bile to work off this weekend.

        That “the Pats are going to do bad things to the Jets” thing has been voiced – in those words- more than a few times from people knowledgeable about Pats-Land. Cheatin’ Bill’s boys got a real sour stomach over the J-E-T-S trash-talk (and now, pre-emptive excusery) and they are going to take it out on Buddy’s Bounty Hunters the Jets.

        Best one-liner of the week: “Now we know why Cromartie has so many kids. He can’t keep his hands off anyone.”

      • freepatriot says:

        Can someone remind me how the Bungles did so well last year?

        Troy Palamalu suffered a Non-hair related injury

        after that, somebody had to win the division …

  2. person1597 says:

    Ho ho — see yer Sharktopus… (Good lookin’ lady killer…)

    …and raise ya a Boltopus! (Mean, nasty freedom chiller.)

    Let the fur fly! It’s “moustache meets mufftrash!”

    We’ll see who dines and who pines…

    (Still, Gellerzilla as Sec’i of State could be a horror movie unto itself!! Talk about PNAC envy!))

  3. rosalind says:

    hate to throw a bucket of chum, but the SyFy (nee Sci Fi) schedule is the same for both coasts, i.e. Sharktopus will be screening at 9pm EST and PST, unless you know different.

    may have to do two live blogs. or while Sharktopus is going off back East, we West Coasters can live blog the last half of “Spring Break Shark Attack” and the first half of “Lake Placid 3”.

    also, you left out that the movie is produced by Roger Freakin’ Corman.

    • bmaz says:

      Oh noes! This is very bad! Thanks a rot Rosalind; mucked up our whole enterprise. It is sooooo Roger Cormanish; good to see him back. I still have a window speaker I collected at one of his movies in high school.

        • Mauimom says:

          Thanks. I have a TON of MST3K shows on videotape. I really need to transfer them to DVDs, but that’s a project for another day.

          Most of my very favorite of the shows never made it to “commercial” DVD; something about copyright or other rights.

          Now back to college ball. It’s only 1:20 in the afternoon here, and the “evening” games haven’t started. This works well at this portion of the day, but is a little rough when the games start @ 6 am. There’s no chance of catching “College Game Day,” since it airs @ 3 am Hawaii time.

          Nb: nothing “comes to a town near me,” because the nearest “town” is Honolulu, and that’s a $180 RT plane ride away.

  4. Eli says:

    It being the Jets, not only will they lose (and yes, Welker will eat Cromartie and Wilson alive), but Rex’s incautious decision to play Revis with a bad hammy will probably end up ruining Revis’s (and therefore the Jets’) season. Hamstring injuries have a way of lingering and/or constantly recurring if you don’t take them seriously enough, and I don’t think the Jets are.

  5. JohnLopresti says:

    Scribe, I think the Singularly attentive IT people have found the programming error in the QB*s helmet radio that caused play calls from the offensive coordinator to get lost last week at Qwest Seattle; evidently, someone was forcing Smith to listen to commercials in the headset. I bet even Madden NFL11 aficionados can hear the entire play being called in. If all the foregoing is just rumor, Mike can give the coaches joysticks, and the players* helmets virtual reality goggles. That should map the whole game out fine realtime. And if they do it in infrared or ultraviolet bands, the 25 seconds of silence pre-snap should be a non-factor when they meet the former Ain*ts at ATT Candlestick.

  6. dakine01 says:

    Let’s hope that Florida does take down the team formerly known as the Kiffins today. It might make it easier for the KY Cats to go into the Swamp next week and at least escape without being totally destroyed.

  7. radiofreewill says:

    Go Gators!

    Given that Tennessee played with their shorts around their ankles last week against Oregon, Demps could go for 200 on the ground today, and Brantley might finally get to air it out, too!

  10. john in sacramento says:

    Not that I’m Nostradamus or anything but I see three potential upsets

    Nebraska v Washington
    Texas v Texas Tech
    Iowa v Arizona

    Washington could be this years Stanford (not a threat to win the Pac 10 but could knock a few teams off) Sark is a really good coach and the Def Co is pretty good too, and of course they have Locker

    I think the Red Raiders still have a few tricks up their sleeve, even though their Cap’n Jack got mutinied by the admin

    I like Iowa, but if the Wildcats have a window, it’s now. I’m not sure who I’d favor to take the Pac 10 (soon to be 12 Pack (hiccup)) but it’s up to Arizona, Oregon, and Stanford

    • Linnaeus says:

      Gutsy call by the Spartans and a great finish, but U-M and Wisconsin’s games were harder than they needed to be, Minnesota couldn’t keep up with USC (though I don’t know if anyone expected them to), and Iowa’s down 20 right now to Arizona.

        • scribe says:

          The Word was that they were anticipating signing him again tomorrow, having needed to drop him to add a linebacker for today.

          That won’t help much today, though.

          What you may have missed, though, is that Stiller D stepped up a la 1976, and have caused 4 turnovers in the first half.

          So far.

  13. bmaz says:

    Jeebus. Less than 24 hours after calling the gutsy fake field goal for the TD in overtime to beat Notre Dame, Michigan State coach Mark Dantonio had a heart attack this morning and is out indefinitely.

  15. phred says:

    On Wisconsin, on Wisconsin, hm, hm, hm, hm, hm ; ) Glad to see Bucky eeked out a win yesterday. Hopefully, the Pack can join them, but Rodgers is not making it look easy so far…

    And uh, bmaz, you need to get the prescription checked on your specs… that “kid” is a Grandpa. Still, I can see where the Vikings would think an old codger was “promising” ; )

  16. phred says:

    Oh, and as for Manning beating Manning*, my pick is on junior.

    (*That’s for you BSL, I kinda miss having a reason to say that’s just Manny being Manny ; )

    • BayStateLibrul says:

      Got to watch the entire UMass v UMichigan game via the Big Ten Network.

      I thought the Redmen (they will always be the Redmen to me) would lose

      by say 45-0…

      Impressed with the QB and the running back from Leominster…

      The announcers from the Big Ten were great too, no bias…

      Ready to rip T-Rex today.

  17. emptywheel says:

    Thus far in Detroit (cuz I’m sure none of the rest of you have this game), the Lions have figured that running Jahvid Best is a far better option than letting Shaun Hill throw.

  20. phred says:

    Maybe Brady can offer to do Rexy’s hair, that oughta put him off his game ; )

    Thanks for the tip on the UMass game, I’ll keep an eye out for it…

      • phred says:

        Favre sucks.

        I need to print this page and frame that ; )

        Honestly, bmaz I have no idea what has gotten into you… alien abduction, invasion of the body snatchers, what?

        And I’ll take lucky any day ; ) Go Big Red!

      • BayStateLibrul says:

        Bmaz, I scanned a post yesterday, and did you say that you would vote for Palin as a protest vote, or was I imagining things?

        • bmaz says:

          I am about ready to consider it. I think Obama has been nothing short of pitiful and by no measure deserves a second term. At some point, you have to send a message that you simply will not put up with unmitigated crap any more, and I am very close to being there. I do not know that I have ever been more disappointed in a politician in my life. Would I go so far as to vote for Palin? Probably not when push comes to shove, but I can find no affirmative reason whatsoever to support Barack Obama. The old mantra about holding your nose because of judicial appointments does not even hold; Obama has been pitiful and derelict on judicial appointments and the justice system too and, by all appearances and what I am hearing, it is going to get worse and any nominations he does actually bother to make in the future are going to be as milquetoast and conservative as possible short of being full on Federalist Society freaks.

  22. scribe says:

    Scribe polishes fingernails on lapels and asks: “how ’bout my Stillers?”

    Like ’76 – the D steps up and leads so the O can get healthy.

  24. emptywheel says:

    Gotta say this for the Kitties. THeir MO in recent years has been to play well for 2.5 quarters and then (I think for conditioning reasons) give the game away at the end. Second week in a row they’re playing to stay in it right at the end.

    Then again, close only counts in horseshoe, handgrenades … well you know how it goes.

      • phred says:

        And what’s up with Da Bears? I thought they were supposed to bring up the rear in the NFC North this year. Bears 2-0, Vikes 0-2. I’ll take it, but sheesh. How’s a person supposed to win their football pool??? ; )

        EW, you should consider offering a ShamWow to the person with the worst picks of the week so they can polish the winner’s hubcap ; )

  25. rosalind says:

    hmmm, the on-screen menu says i should be seeing jacksonville at san diego, but i’m getting the ne/jets game.

    guess the san diego black-out extends to l.a.?

      • scribe says:

        Yup. You get infomercials for oldies records or super-powered vacuum cleaners or something. No football for you, lazy refusing-to-buy tickets local fans.

        • rosalind says:

          and to ew #67: nope, didn’t know that. if l.a. ever has another pro team forced upon us, guess i’ll be experiencing that phenom on a weekly basis.

        • scribe says:

          It used to be worse. Before the NFL adopted the current rule – blacking out the game locally if it wasn’t sold out by Thursday prior – it was entirely possible that the game could be sold out and still be blacked out or, more likely, you’d get an out-of-market game. In the pre-cable days, there were more than a few Stiller fans who’d make a pilgrimage to some motel on the way to Cincinnati or someplace where they had a big antenna and could pick up the Stillers game from a distant station. A lot of those great Stillers @ Three Rivers games of the 70s were never seen live in Pittsburgh living rooms. And, given the thin-to-nonexistent density of home videotape machines in the 70s, a lot of them were never seen on tape bootlegs, either. Similarly, Giants fans would wind up watching Dallas v. Minnesota or something when the Giants were at home. You either went to the game or, even if you couldn’t get a ticket, didn’t watch.

          The current rule is actually an improvement. It’s only coming in to play a role now because Detroit is not the only town deep enough in a depression to not sell out.

          Seven turnovers forced by the Stiller D. Awe inspiring.

        • randiego says:

          The Chargers are blacked out all the way to Santa Barbara north, and El Centro east.

          They won’t sell out against Arizona next week either.

          Chargers are dominating Jax, 24-6. Rivers with 220 yards passing in the first half with two TDs. Cason (Cromartie’s replacement) with two picks.

          I have NE/Jets here.

        • randiego says:

          early 2nd Quarter – he was driven off on a cart – never a good sign. He came back out before the half with his helmet on, but Norv wisely kept him out. They will hopefully sit him out next week too.

          Of course, last week on 1st & goal at the 4 with 1:30 to play and the Bolts looking to tie, football genius Norv had him on the sideline.

        • phred says:

          I certainly hope he recovers quickly, but you have to admit the Bolts looked great today. I was stunned last week, didn’t figure KC would give them any trouble at all. Sounds like Norv blew it though, eh?

        • randiego says:

          The Chargers lost for a lot of reasons last week. Special teams breakdowns, players not ready for the weather, very loud Monday night crowd, etc etc.

          I always say, and nobody ever listens, that division games on the road at night are very difficult games. The teams in the AFC West have been playing each other for 50 years, and they hate each other. Arrowhead is a very loud stadium.

          Hard to blame Norv for all those things, and the Bolts came back and almost tied, with everything going against them. But his play-calling, in the last series, was absolutely inexcusable. You’re on the 4 and your bruising running back (Tolbert) and your fast new back (Mathews) are on the sideline? You’re going to run a spread from the 4? With no reason for the linebackers to be up on the line?

          It’s like he gets lost in the situation, and out-thinks himself. I’ve seen it too many times now to discount it. The Chargers play down to opponents, and there’s a reason for it.

        • phred says:

          Thanks for the scoop. I didn’t get to see much of the game, so I was surprised by the outcome. FWIW though, I listen to you ; )

        • randiego says:

          I posted here last week that I thought the Chargers would win a shootout, but to take the Chiefs and the 6 points. I didn’t know the weather forecast…

        • phred says:

          IOW, I didn’t listen to you : ( Oops! It was an accident, I was framed, my my reading comprehension was poor, umm, umm, there’s gotta be an excuse here somewhere, pardon me while I go look for it… ; )

        • phred says:

          Yeah! That’s it! The dog ate my Trash Thread, and who boy you did not want to be around to clean up the mess afterward ; )

          Thanks EW!

          By the way, Houston plays Dallas next week??? Go Texans! I would love for the Cowboys to have to play second fiddle to the Texans for a change. That would be great!

    • phred says:

      Hey rosalind, funny you mentioned Cinematic Titanic yesterday. I had never heard of it, but about a week ago friends of our talked us into joining them to see it at the end of October. Sounds like fun : )

    • john in sacramento says:

      I think the blackouts extend out to 75 miles

      I know a lotta Raiduhs convicts fans who usually can’t watch the game on the local teevee station and have to get the hookup with a super duper old fashioned old style 60’s style antenna to get a Chico station

      • randiego says:

        I think the blackouts extend out to 75 miles

        Umm, nope. Santa Barbara is 211 miles from SD, and El Centro is 110. I believe it has to do with TV market boundaries, but it’s clearly not a set distance.

  26. scribe says:

    More beach erosion at Revis Islet.

    Randy “Slouch” Moss reels it in, and Revis reaches for his hammy. More excuse-making from a guy who’s all mouth and no performance.

  29. scribe says:

    Did I hear correctly – I took the dog for a walk during the half – that Revis Island sandspit has sunk beneath the waves?

      • scribe says:

        Well, my problem with this game is that I want both the J-E-T-S and the Patsies to lose, though for different reasons.

        I want the J-E-T-S to lose because they’re loud-mouths that won’t back up their trash.

        I want the Patsies to lose for the same reason I want Dallas to lose – because they’re the Patsies.

        If both the J-E-T-S and the Patsies would lose, it would give me a perfect Sunday: Stillers win, Dallas loses, Iggles win, J-E-T-S lose, Pats lose.

        • scribe says:

          I should have been more clear.
          I want the Owboys to lose because they’re the Owboys.
          I want the Patsies to lose for the same reason – because they’re the Patsies.

          Sorta the football analog of identity politics.

  30. scribe says:

    At this point – 8 minutes to go – I’m willing to go so far as to say the J-E-T-S are going to win. Butler and his pass interferences are not helping matters, but they are not determinative. I think Mop Top Tom’s Bieber do has sapped all the manly strength from the Patsies, which would have pleased me but for the fact that it’s the J-E-T-S who are benefitting from it.

  31. randiego says:

    As much as I hate the Jets and their trash talking, you have to admit they’ve backed it up today.

    The Jets are using LT in a smarter way than Norv did, and he’s having a good game.

    • emptywheel says:

      Really happy about that one. WAtching Dungy on FNA–he says, “I’m glad I don’t have to face them.”

      Good for them. And may they win the battle for TX next week.

  34. rosalind says:

    in the brief lull between games, my flip camera and i are considering heading over to The Grove tomorrow (kind of the Disneyland of shopping centers), set a Starbuck’s Mocha-frappuccino out as bait, then await the Snowbilly to wander over from CBS Television City where daughter Bristol is making her “dancing” debut, cause you know she ain’t gonna stay for the whole taping.

  37. BayStateLibrul says:

    Bill and Rex

    Mr Glum and Fatty Pants:

    “Mr. Glum knows what he’s got here and he knows what he doesn’t have, too.

    It had to sting to watch his team dissolve in the haunted acreage where so many things have happened through the years. There is nothing manufactured about the Patriots-Jets hatred. A Jets executive once questioned Belichick’s mental stability. It was here that Spygate was launched. Curtis Martin is on the Jets’ ring of honor. It goes on and on. And now Belichick has to live with the fact that Rex Ryan is 2-1 against him (plus two playoff wins to Belichick’s zero) since becoming a head coach in the NFL. It’s a hard knock indeed.” Globe, Shaughnessey

    Jets deserve praise.

    We’ll see ya in week 13, December 6th when Jets arrive in Foxboro for

    a 8:30 PM ESPN classic…

    Sorry, I called T-Rex fat…

  38. GulfCoastPirate says:

    bmaz,

    I was traveling this weekend so I just got a chance to see this. All the gulf coast pirates are in a state of shock. Sumlin wasn’t himself all week. All he talked about was how big, fast and athletic all those UCLA recruits with all those stars tattoed on their foreheads were. I thought a Whorn sorceress had possessed his body as he sounded like Mack Brown all week with the whining.

    I didn’t even know what team I was watching out there. Sure didn’t resemble anything I had seen since he came to Houston. Then Keenum throws a pick from the 2 and ends up with a torn ACL (out for the season) after specifically being told not to try to tackle anyone. The 2nd QB comes in and ends up with his clavicle broken in 3 places (also out for the season).

    Bring on the freshmen. I sure hope they do something about that whorn sorceress. If I have to watch all that dinky dunk Colt McCoy type offense with the screens and dump passes to the backs all season I think I’ll just stay in the parking lot and tailgate. Throw the damn ball DOWNFIELD.

    On the other hand, the Texans made a nice comeback by throwing the damn ball DOWNFIELD. Cowgirls up next – we’ll see.

  39. bmaz says:

    Anybody here??

    Broncos WR suicides:

    Josina Anderson of FOX 31 in Denver reports that Broncos receiver Kenny McKinley has been found dead, apparently due to a suicide.

    The 23-year-old McKinley, a fifth-round pick in 2009 from South Carolina, appeared in eight games last season before landing on injured reserve. He was again placed on injured reserve to start the 2010 season.

  41. rosalind says:

    Greetings from Courtroom 4, Honorable Judge Scott M. Gordon presiding over the Quarreling McCourt’s Dodger Divorce. Having a spare moment, I took a seat in the last row for today’s afternoon sessions.

    Took the elevator up, then wandered the halls until I came upon a gaggle of silver-haired white men in thousand dollar suits and spit-shined shoes. Assuming I was close, I popped into the women’s restroom where I was almost knocked over by a fast-walking blur of carefully coiffed highlighted hair on 4″ heels. Is that…? It was. Jamie McCourt herself. Short, slim, in a champagne-colored knit ensemble of high necked shell, sweater and slim skirt with a quasi-bustle in back that swished back and forth as she power-moved through the hall into the court and onto the stand.

    In the court, Frank McCourt at the table to the left with his lawyer Steve Susman in Shiny Blue and three younger ones, all white, one female. At Jamie’s table to the right, Prop 8 Trial hero David Boies in rumpled Black next to his three, older and white-haired and yes, white. No females. Frank in beautifully tailored blue, his face a burnt sienna from the John Boehner collection.

    Behind each table another table with the younger lawyers, four to a side. Evidently for high-end legal proceedings lawyers of color need not apply.

    Judge Gordon enters, we’re told to stay seated, and Jamie takes her seat on the witness stand. Frank’s seat is located directly in her eye-line. He watches her throughout. She doesn’t give him a glance.

    (cont’d)

  42. rosalind says:

    Dodger Divorce Part 2:

    The trial centers on whether Frank is the sole owner of the Dodgers Baseball team, or if Jamie has half-ownership. When they moved to California from Boston their lawyer drafted a MPA (Marital Property Agreement) that they signed. However several versions of an Exhibit A of the MPA have come to light, one version favoring Frank’s position, the other Jamie’s.

    Steve Susman takes the podium and from my seat all I see is his back, which hunches over in exasperation (feigned?) from time to time when Jamie’s answers stay firmly in Clinton’s “it depends on what the meaning of ‘is’ is” territory.

    Jamie is unflappable and polite while she gives some variation of “I really don’t recall” to most answers. She’ll admit only to writing notes not comprehending them. Reading docs but not understanding them. By the end of the day Susman start prefacing his queries with “As a Lawyer and MBA holder, what don’t you understand?”. He then had her read the docs word by word, stopping after each word to ask “do you understand its meaning”? Main takeaway is she insists to this day she doesn’t truly understand what “Community Property” means in California. She refers repeatedly to the “Equitable Distribution System” in Boston. This system she understands, as she explains in detail and with a focus lacking all her previous answers.

    The exhibits are displayed on a large screen for the courtroom to see, while each lawyer at the main tables have individual monitors as well as the Judge and Jamie on the stand, though she insists on looking at the hard copy versions in the many many binders before her. ESPN’s Molly Knight tweeted: “People: Don’t ever put anything in an e-mail that you wouldn’t feel comfortable having blown up on a projection screen in a courtroom.”

    Her stance is all property and assets are jointly owned, no matter whose name is on the title.

    Susman ended by taking her through bank applications and escrow docs she’d filled out to purchase property in her name where she swore the assets listed were a full and complete representation of her worth. The Dodgers were not listed as part of her assets.

  43. rosalind says:

    Dodger Divorce Part 3:

    Susman done, David Boies jumps up and takes Jamie through some Docs that counter some of the ones Susman took her through, then ends with two memos from the McCourt’s Boston law firm congratulating them on their Dodger ownership.

    Judge gaveled the proceedings done for the day, and Boies will take up where he left off in the a.m. The Boston laywer, Larry Silverstein, who’s been made the scapegoat by both sides, is supposed to next take the stand to the amazement of most legal folk out in the hall who remain dubious Silverstein will show. Another lawyer in the firm is scheduled for the afternoon.

    Fun fact: Each night Jamie would write out on an index card of her day’s activities. One abbreviation appears frequently: YAM. She explained it means Frank “Yelled At Me”.

    Susman tried to get Jamie’s rumored political aspirations into the record, but the Judge wasn’t playing.

    Susman: At the end of 2008, were you considering a run for President?
    Boies: Objection!
    Judge: Sustained, strike from record.

    Throughout the day I kept looking from Frank to Jamie, wondering how these teen sweethearts and parents of four ended up – here.

  44. rosalind says:

    Dodger Divorce Part 4:

    I want to thank Molly Knight of ESPN for her tweets encouraging people to come down to the trial. She gave out all the pertinent info, and got my lazy butt down there. Those Courtrooms belong to We The People, and we have every right to take our seat and watch justice in action.

    While there was no Perry Mason moments, I found the whole thing fascinating, just watching the players. The trial continues tomorrow and Wednesday, with the further schedule to be determined. For any Angelenos unemployed, under-employed, retired, or whatnot, come on down. About 1/4 of the seats went unfilled during the afternoon sessions.

    Stanley Mosk Courthouse
    111 N. Hill St., 2nd Floor
    Courtroom 4

    9am – 10:30am
    (break)
    10:45a – Noon
    (Lunch)
    1:30p – 3p
    (break)
    3:15p – 5p

    Last Fun Fact: the Judge called an unexpected ten minute recess late in the day, then summoned two men sitting in the back row on opposite sides into his chambers. Hallway scuttlebutt is it was an emergency session regarding Mel Gibson’s current legal brouhaha.