First They Came for Women Enjoying Sex, Then They Came for Men Jacking Off
I know Democrats are thrilled that Chris Coons, the Democratic candidate for Senate in Delaware, will be running against the kook Christine O’Donnell.
But I’m a little troubled by the treatment of O’Donnell’s anti-masturbation stance as just one more kooky proposal.
It’s not.
Rather, it’s the logical extension of the conservative assault on reproductive freedom. Sure, most conservative efforts to regulate reproduction are targeted exclusively at women (not even on their doctors). Because they bear wombs, after all, it’s a lot easier to regulate and politicize the sexual conduct of women.
But the logic is always the same–and it’s precisely the “logic” O’Donnell gave for her opposition to masturbation. (And, incidentally, the same logic the Prop 8 defenders used in their case in San Francisco.) It’s about ensuring that all sexual enjoyment–all of it–is tied to procreation within marriage.
So while she may be a nut, she’s really only advocating for the same oppressive treatment of men as mainstream Republicans advocate for women of child-bearing age.
Every sperm is sacred!
Yup, every single one of them had better be doing the Lord’s work and making lots of babies.
Too bad O-Face O’Donnell doesn’t actually make any of her own; taking any advice from her on sexuality might be on par with taking advice from a Catholic nun.
I’m still betting their is a sexual scandal in her background waiting to be uncovered(like “Diapers” Vitter, Larry Craig, Ted Haggard). People like her who are so anti usually have big-time skeletons in their closet.
As a non-makeup wearer I was actually shocked by how much crust she wore on her face to make her anti-masturbation video. She may opposed enjoyment of sex, but she sure wears a lot of makeup designed to heighten sexual attraction.
Ah, but she’s wearing it with clean intent, feeling good about herself etc. And just because you, I, or a random 15 year old boy might think something darker about her…well, I guess she’s got a lot of work to do.
Actually, all the heavy makeup is needed to hide the acne you develop when you abstain from pre-marital sexual pleasures — with or without a partner of the same or opposite sex…..
That was my reaction to the video. She was “made up” to cause attraction. She obviously never took a page from Melody Green’s writings on modesty and the Christian woman.
There’s a huge problem analyzing people I’ve never met and hardly have heard of , but,
a thick layer of makeup to me can mean a deep feeling of unworthyness, self-loathing, low self-esteem.
Coincidentally consistent with negating your own feelings of pleasure, sex, masturbation, etc., and denying yourself the power of control over your life because you’re not worthy of it.
I hope she doesn’t get a swift-boatload of uber-right GOP assistance to put her in the senate, because I feel for Delaware if she gets there.
heh heh! That was the first thing that came to mind when I read this. Low and behold, the first comment.
EW:
You are right. You are starting to sound more like Digby every day. ;-)
I take that as a compliment. Thanks.
the amount of doublethink required by a lot of these “small government” conservatives to decry “intrusive” government practices like, say, environmental regulation, yet to attempt to engineer the bedroom habits of complete strangers (no pun intended) is amazing.
But nothing new.
You think the great state of Delaware (home of corporations) would
actually elect her, as she presses on the sex gas pedal?
No way…
Marcy, you’re missing one more piece to the whole anti-masturbation issue: she also wants women to (in the words of the Church Lady) “STOP!!”
By the lights of the TheoCon right, women who enjoy themselves alone might just enjoy themselves a little too much. This situation might be rather threatening to their husbands who would worry they can’t bring as much joy to their women as the women seem to find alone. Says the menfolks on the Right: “We can’t have that!”
So with her message of “no touching” to women, O’Donnell is just trying in her own odd way to keep the TheoCon menfolk happy.
Oh, well,yeah. Of COURSE women aren’t allowed to have any fun.
But that’s always been true for these nuts. I just wanted to make sure the men who make light of abortion restrictions realize that this is no joking matter.
Why is a Cyndi Lauper tune playing in my head?
No wonder O’Donnell is in trouble in DE. I mean it is one thing for men to impose their opinions on womens’ reproductive freedom, but if you think 50% of the population is going to sit still for someone impugning their deep and personal relationship with Playboy, watch out, O’Donnell will be lucky to hit single digits in November ; )
Tee hee. phred said “sit still.” Hee.
I’m not sure Marcy is ever gonna be invited on TV again …
My children were all immaculately conceived, so I have no idea what the fuss regarding O’Donnell is about…
/s
A pity, since she inspires such mirth around here ; )
This is an old argument, but it has been widely misapplied. There is a rumor about a related Proverb that supposedly says, “It is better to cast your seed in the belly of a whore than to spill it on the ground.” The fact is, though, this is not found anywhere in the pages of Scripture. It is an “urban legend” based on a distorted reading of the passage from Genesis referred to above. And it certainly does NOT refer to masturbation. In fact, the Bible does not refer explicitly to masturbation– anywhere, in any book.
Bob in AZ
That’s surprising, considering how otherwise the Bible is completely laden with incest, infidelity, rape, polygamy, horny poetry, etc. etc. Honestly, I don’t know how the wingnuts keep their hands off themselves while reading it.
Sue Bohlin really cleared that up. Thanks.
Sue Bohlin is an associate speaker with Probe Ministries. She attended the University of Illinois, and has been a Bible teacher and conference speaker for over 30 years. She is a frequent speaker for MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers) and Stonecroft Ministries (Christian Women’s Connections), and serves on the board and as a small group leader of Living Hope Ministries, a Christ centered outreach to those dealing with unwanted homosexuality.
Yeah, but you’re referencing the liberal translation.
Not to worry, the conservatives are, as we speak, working on the real translation. I can hardly wait.
The sin of Onan was that he refused to marry his brother’s widow and give her a son. He’s the one who ‘spilled his seed on the ground’. The point was that he refused to do what was considered to be his duty to his brother, to prevent his widow from becoming destitute. Like many bible stories, it’s meaning has been warped by people with their own agenda.
That was the point of my reference.
Bob in AZ
Naw, it’s just the kooky icing on the cake. The real threat to men’s (and women’s) freedom is restriction of access to contraception, whether the pill or a condom. Not to mention teaching “abstinence”.
Thank God, for Christine O’Donnell/s
Finally, we have a candidate for Congress who knows what’s really important!
MASTURBATION.
Not the wars;
the economy;
the lack of jobs;
the unemployment and underemployment;
the security state;
the loss of civil liberties;
the lack of affordable health care;
the assaults on social security, Medicare, and Medicaid;
the assault on public education;
and a feckless psychopath for a president.
Next thing you know, she’ll be sponsoring a mandatory female circumcision law and the loss of a hand to any male caught jerking off.
You can’t make this stuff up.
You just can’t.
I want my country back.
While we’re on the subject of sex, you gotta wonder how this widespread, sick culture inside the Pentagon influenced those “interrogations” that were so brutal and twisted.
Pentagon to investigate hundreds of suspected child pornography fans in its ranks
LINK.
You also gotta wonder what will happen with this investigation.
Give me jerking off or give me death!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wonder what she thinks of dildos and vibrators?
Yes. These people are anti-pleasure and anti-sex, period… the better to keep people subjugated to guilt and a compromised clergy, the latter of whom keep their flock in line, so the people are good, compliant workers who go to the factory or the office or the dole line, repressed, burdened with their guilt, and obsessed with their dark fantasies and sexual acting-outs, for which only the clergy can forgive them.
It’s a pretty game, if you can make it stick (no pun intended), if you’re a wealthy member of the elite wanting to protect your god-given right to exploit the mass of humanity protected, and not have to engage in a garrison state.
Sexual repression and state repression go hand in hand. An excellent fictional presentation of same in Orwell’s dystopia, 1984.
it seems you beet me to the point, but yup, the purpose of demonizing normal human behavior is to gain power over those that will believe they shouldn’t be doing it, yet they can’t stop…they need forgiveness and who else to give it to them but their religious leaders
Lust in your heart?
I wish the Goopers would give up bashing Jimmy Carter. He’s old news!
Seen on Orange Satan,
Casper isn’t going to endorse O’Donnell. Someone said,
“He is saying go f*ck yourself, knowing she won’t”
OK- I’m kinda glad they are going after these guys:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/09/15/pentagon.child.porn/
CNN is reporting that the Pentagon is suddenly reconsidering it’s decision to let child pornography criminals hide out in the Pentagon and its contracting ranks.
See @ 18 above, Mary.
Plus, there’s more.
They’ve known about this for awhile, but declined to investigate.
First I saw of it, I think, was back in July. And here’s a bit more.
Now, will it be pursued this time, will it become “state secrets” or . . . ????
The military Vatican considers the fate of the religious Vatican, or sumpin’ like that.
The Church of the One Commandment has a very loose view of what adultery is. And their worship of St. Onan shows their ignorance of the Biblical story they have pretended to read. Onan refused to screw his brother’s wife after his brother’s death and instead “spilled his seed”. Which led one apocryphal Christian lady to name her parrot Onan.
And a very limited view of what killing is.
And a schizophrenic view of what the afterlife is. Essentially life is split between life before birth and life after death. They don’t believe in life after birth.
that’s a better representation of the supposed biblical passage they claim forbids masturbation but it’s still not there
in fact he didn’t “refuse to screw” his brothers wife, he agreed to it for the purpose of offspring, however he reneged on the bargain he made with wife, father and supposedly the lord, he didn’t want his brother’s wife having his child even though he said he would do it, so in order to have sex with her he agreed but then “pulled out” so she couldn’t conceive thinking she wouldn’t know it
so he broke his covenant and in essence raped his brothers wife
THAT’S what he was doomed for, not “spilling his seed” but breaking a solemn covenant with his family and his lord
not quite, he did in fact agree to father the child and had his way with his brothers wife by that promise, then he reneged, that was the problem, the problem was not refusing to marry his brothers wife
I was hoping you or Peterr would add your interpretation. This is not something I’ve read recently. Just working from memory. Thanks!
peterr is a better source, I’m not a man of the cloth
ps
I’ve taken a special interest in this story for a number of reasons, first being I love the activity and could not believe it was really a sin.
then when I was looking into the story I realized, this is where my name comes from
true
perez was the brother of onan…not the brother in question but a brother none the less
“perez” is a really bad phonetic spelling of “peretze”, the tze is usually slurred and those in my family spelled the name “peris, peres, perris”
there you have it
Well, I suggest the worst thing one can do is pass essentially moral legislation without a clear understanding of the cost of enforcing it properly. As we will see this fall when Dan Okrent’s book on Prohibition comes to the silver screen in your living room on PBS, based on “Last Call.”
The problem with Prohibition was lack of forward thinking — what would it really cost to enforce the no booze laws, how would you design a corruption proof enforcement agency, How would you keep the moral leaders such as Jewish Rabbi’s and Catholic Priests out of the Sacramental Wine Business, when that was what many “members” wanted? As we know, eventually everyone got practical, realized the Federal Courts were not the place for trying people for being thirsty (one judge got it down to a conviction rate of one plea bargin per 15 seconds).
Anyhow, I propose we take Christine O’Donnell seriously, and cost out how much might be involved in effective enforcement. It strikes me every bed in the US would need to be under 24 hour per day survaillance with CCTV cameras, and since a bed is only optional for sex, I guess we would have to wire up floors, couches, garage floors, back seats of cars, public bathrooms — home baths too I suppose, all RV’s and much much more. Of course it is useless to have cameras if no one is looking at the image, so it would be one hell of a jobs program to hire the kind of corps who would evaluate individual behavior and write up the reports. What would be the Job Description? What kind of training program would be required? What would the wage scale for the sex inspectors be like? Would we allow those who have been convicted of voygerism apply for these jobs? Perhaps someone could send this proposal to the Congressional Budget Office, and get a read-out of likely costs. If they catch the criminal sex offenders doing the illegal, what will be the penalty? Fines, Prison time? How much and how long. What do you do with Recidivists?
Have I just written Jon Stewart’s script for him?
Ah Sara, it is your practicality I admire most ; ) And frankly, I am relieved to know that all those child pornographers at the Pentagon will have a fallback employment option, just in case ; )
“Ah Sara, it is your practicality I admire most ; ) And frankly, I am relieved to know that all those child pornographers at the Pentagon will have a fallback employment option, just in case ; )”
Well, now I am really worried. Wrote that bit and decided the cool day called for a sweater — and on entering bedroom, found my big brass bed occupied by best friend, Elwell the Siberian Husky, who was engaged in a little fairly normative licking. Would they be watching her too? Would I have to teach her to be a more moral dog?
LOL :)
Best thing is not to look. Wouldn’t want your minders watching the live feed to think you were encouraging such behavior. I mean, sure it starts out as a little innocent hygiene, but then bam! Next thing you know the pooch just can’t bathe enough ; )
Hmmm. . . . interesting. How would they interview the Stasi agents keeping track? Some interview questions, huh? And would they ask the same questions of male and female applicants? Or, would there be specialists? How does an applicant qualify for promotion? Oh, and then there’s . . . . . (drumroll) performance reviews.
What about having sex on the beaches?
“Beaches. We don’t need no stinkin beaches!”
How about the 7th green at Pebble Beach?
Damn. I hate it when I get pebbles in my _________________________.
All Beaches are to be privatized. Exclusive use by Family Values Republicans like Diaper Dave Vitter, Larry Craig, Neil Bush, John Ensign, Mark Foley, Lindsey Graham.
No cameras required for Paragons OF Moral Virtue. We are to take them at their word.
But Sara, it would be worth it, because then we could all feel safe!
you outdid yourself. Great post.
From Raw Story.
“Uncovered: O’Donnell objected to calling AIDS sufferers ‘victims’”
Link to TPM story. Both have video.
So, is Joyclyn Elder campaigning for Coons?
This puts a whole new spin on the phrase “One armed bandit”
Geez, it’s going to get freakin boring around here after the second time they catch me.
Christine O’Donell seriously needs long, dare I say thick, term therapy with vibrating dildos and butt plugs. At the same time!
I suppose it’s better than Dying Depression Ministries.
Probe Ministries will spearhead the Interrogations Unit. Tax Exempt with Obama Faith Based Public Funding, Of Course.
I’ll tell you what. Ain’t nobody gonna steal a fucking drop of my precious bodily fluids!
I gave some sort of donation to fund EmptyWheel when Marcy got in trouble for saying something like this in some interview, I think discussing Bill Clinton and semen stains on dresses. But the title of this story made me burst out laughing. God I am so proud of you Marcy! Great post! I needed to hear this….
-Wasteland
Blowjob!
None of that either buster.
Ah, but Marcy, only O’Donnell has the courage to take on all the perverts who make up the Hairy-Palm Party.
Talk about “speaking truth to power”!!!
Who else has the temerity to shine the bright light of Godly abstemiousness directly into the face of youthful amurkan men. (And women, if truth be told…)
I mean, just think: O’Donnell is still a young woman, and here she is, directly writing off the steadily maturing votes of 15 year olds. It’s like she’s saying:
“I don’t NEED those filthy little wankers who are violating the Temple of the Holy Ghost every time they go into the bathroom! They’re not fooling ME with those 20 minute “constipation” marathons! I’ll bet there are old athletic socks under their beds so rigid with petrified sperm that you could drive a 20 penny nail into a 2X4 with them. By God, if me’n Diebold can beat Chris Coons, I’ll drop a bill into the Senate hopper making onanism punishable by tasering their Willys into something the size of gherkin pickles; the little shits!
Yours in Christ, and, as that great American patriot, George Lincoln Rockwell use to say: “Gott mit uns!”
(Now, you’ll have to excuse me; I just saw Johnny Depp on the telly, and it gave me an itchy trigger-finger…and I aint talkin’ about a firearm…)
Who else other than Christine O’Donnell? Monica Goodling?
Wow, George Lincoln Rockwell, the patron saint of Teabaggers. I haven’t thought about him in decades. Knew some kids who liked to ride by his place and throw firecrackers just to watch his stormtroopers come running out the doors. His free boat tickets back to Africa were something else too.
“Quit jerkin’ or go gherkin” sounds like a pudlic servicing campaign. But if size matters, does that just exacerbate the problem? This pudlic policy is hard stuff. Gotta watch what ‘ya “drop in the hopper”. Who knows what kind of seedy law would come out of that Bill, and what is the Green Party’s position on woody issues?
The comic book will be coming soon. Onan the Barbarian – Mild mannered GOP Senator slips into a public bathroom stall (when was the last time you saw a phone booth?), first it was just for his own pleasure, then it inevitably led to harder stuff…. well you know the rest of the story.
I’m sure there’s no truth to the rumors about why Duhbya nicknamed Laura “pickles”. Or could she really have the ghurkin that’s lurkin’ in the bushes.
Butt, butt, butt, butt what happens when the feet of these paragons of virtue straddle the toilet in a public bathroom stall with the door closed and their boots on the ground are pointing in the wrong direction?
Do we knock on the door and say, “Excuse me, Mr. Republican Paragon of Virtue, but your boots are on backward.”
And what about the second pair of snake skin boots pointing in the same direction?
Coincidence?
I can’t fap to that!
I was just thinking, “I wonder what Jocelyn Elders is doing these days?”
She crossed my mind as well.
I consider all the Bush’s to be Paragons of Moral Virtue. They’re Family Values Republicans.
Neilsy admitted in the deposition that he had sex with several other women while on trips to Thailand and Hong Kong.
The women, he said, simply knocked on the door of his hotel room, entered and had sex with him. He said he did not know if they were prostitutes because they never asked for money and he did not pay them.
“Mr. Bush, you have to admit it’s a pretty remarkable thing for a man just to go to a hotel room door and open it and have a woman standing there and have sex with her,” Brown said.
“It was very unusual,” Bush said
Neil should read the travel brochure on what is included in the trips package price.
It’s all about Onan.
Every spern is sacred
Every sperm is great
And if a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate.
Of course this does lead to the inevitable quandary, since O’Donnell’s crowd doesn’t approve of scientific experiments either ; )
The sad thing is the fact she could get elected based on name recognition and throw the bums out and the Dem base saying send them another message ’cause they didn’t hear the Brown message.
Not sure Warren as advisor, not interim head, works for me, even if it keeps Tim from crying about being bypassed and Bernie Sanders says it effectively makes her the agency’s temporary head.
Bernie Sanders said that? Jeebus. If she was to be effectively the agency’s temporary head, she would, you know, be named to be the interim head exactly as contemplated by the stinking law. This is not that Bernie,
All of America tonight is wondering what fantasy Christine O’Donnell is masturbating to tonight.
Could it be
(a) riding in a surrey in Oklahoma with a fringe on the top?
(b) singing in the rain?
(c) Amazing Grace;
(d) Swing Low Sweet Chariot; or
(e) Savoring a quickie on a pool table in River City?
If you actually spent more than a second trying to figure out the answer to this question, you are fucked up beyond belief, you need professional help, the Princeton testing service wants to offer you a job, and Christine O’Donnell wants to date you in a public bathroom in Delaware.
By the way, where the fuck is Delaware?
We got trouble my friend
right here in River City
With a capital T
Which rhymes with P
Which stands for pool.
Oh yeah,
We got trouble.
And it ain’t a big parade
With 77 trombones minus one
And 110 corvettes right behind.
What did you say?
Hell, I’d rather have a corvette over a cornet, any day.
Dude, WTF is a cornet?
Alls I know, is I don’t want the fucking thing if American Motors made it.
How ’bout a Yugo?
I’ll take your Yugo and raise you two Igors.
I gore. You gore. We all gore for Igor.
Cue: Jump up and down and wave pom poms frantically.
One last thought. If ecstasy were made out of eggs, they’d have to call it eggstasy. If Christine O’Donnell had sex with eggs, she’d be eggstatic.
Can’t say the same for the eggs, though.
Just as long as she doesn’t say “blowjob” on the air she will be fine.
What she is against Jacking off Why what harm have men Jacking off ever done to her except that maybe men once we get to know her would prefer to jack off rather than pay any attention to her.
But she’s a Botox Queen on a submarine
And her heart is a pumping sweet crude;
Gimmee some jizz from a buffed marine
Or a boy with a dog named Dude.
Excuse me. Yes, of course, Officer. You can handcuff me anytime.
We now return you to our regularly scheduled program.
Botox Queen thats suppose to sell me on a prude extreme:)
We should join forces to write the most hideous lyrics to a song in the history of the universe. You know, kind of like Mel Brooks’s The Producers and the song,
Springtime with Hitler in Germany.
That’s what really pisses her off.
Bob in AZ
A Catholic 41 not married and hasn’t touched herself? I gave a wink and nod at the Virgin Birth story but this would truly be a Miracle.
Are we sure she isn’t Gay lots of in the closet types cling very fierce to their religion if taught sex especially their kind of sex is a sin.
At last, the Democrats have discovered a reason to motivate folks — particularly men — to vote for them:
And, given the requirement that all sexual activity be for procreation, that probably means no blow jobs.
I predict a LOT of unhappy campers!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkklW7VEBHA
‘The Contest’, Seinfeld.
A very good friend of mine who is an Episcopal priest has an apt label for this: he calls it “Pelvic Christianity.” It’s all about what people (usually other people) do with their pelvises.
am late to this thread and haven’t read the comments yet but this is what demonizing normal sexual behavior is about;
it’s about controlling the individual, it’s about getting people to feel guilty about themselves and their lives so they can “be forgiven” through religion, religious zealouts want power and this is the method to accomplish that power
btw
something I have never seen mentioned except when I do it;
back a few generations it common for girls to marry at 13, some cultures even trade their girls away to someone they never met at birth
in my parents youth a women was “an old maid” if she wasn’t married by their 20’s
kind of easy to be chaste if you’re 13, and still easy if you’re married by the time you’re 17
however the bioligical clock, the “preservation of the species”, the need to reproduce, and if you believe our religion, the commandment to “go forth and multiply”, this unstopable urge begins around 13, in the jewish faith they even make it a big holiday, entering into adulthood
once you pass that biological marker it’s almost impossible to avoid the physical need, and if it doesn’t happen concously it’s going to happen unconcously in your sleep
so pre-marital sex being more pronounced today is a time thing not a moral thing
I”m so confused! If the Xtian Right and Republicans keep pushing against contraception because they think White America should have more kids, why aren’t the homes of the Republicans in Congress and most Religious Zealots overflowing with rugrats?
Have Sarah and the first Dude and Boehner and Company given up Sex? And add Limpballs and Savage and Malkin and O’Reilly and Beck…because they don’t have more kids. So what are they using for birth control, Huh? Abstinence? Hardly!
Maybe that’s why most of the Right Zingers are so nuts – haven’t had sex in a while! Yeah, Right!
Best. Thread Title. Ever.
ROFL
…NM