Trash Is Back!

/in /by

I’ll admit it. I’ve got ulterior motives for posting trash two weeks before the regular season begins.

First, I will once again be mostly away from the Toobz this weekend as I continue to experience the joys of moving. So I wanted to leave you with something more fun than CIA corruption, our failing economy, and Gitmo show trials to keep you busy. Hopefully, this will be the last weekend I’ll be entirely AWOL (though I might do something crazy next weekend and actually treat it like a holiday).

Next, I wanted to remind you that this is the most fun preseason weekend–cause you get to see things like the formerly hapless Rams, now led by Sam Bradford and his apparently healthy arm, come from behind to beat the Pats and their sieve-like defense, even with Brady playing most of the game.

Even more fun for the few of us who like the Pats but hate the Colts is seeing Aaron Rogers outplay Peyton Manning in Green Bay’s thumping of the Colts (yes, Phred, it is time to gear up for hubcap season).

Speaking of which…

The real reason I’m posting trash today is to share a terrible discovery.

As most of you know, I’m in the middle of a move to the west part of MI. I’ve been self-congratulatory as I looked forward to football for several weeks now. Not only can we be cautiously optimistic about the Lions this year (in the same way that, with MI having the best job creation last month but still being the second biggest clusterfuck state, we can be optimistic that things will improve, but not all that much). But, I thought, living on Lake Michigan I would have the right to root for any of three teams as the “local” team: the Lions, Da Bears, and even (because really Lake Michigan isn’t all THAT big), Green Bay.

Think of the fun of rooting against Old Man Geezer in every divisional game, if only to wind bmaz up.

Alas.

Last night I did the math. Using means of transport readily available to me, I would have to root for Peyton Manning before Aaron Rogers:

  • Chicago (2 hours, 42 minutes)
  • Detroit (2 hours, 58 minutes)
  • Indy (4 hours, 23 minutes)
  • Cleveland (5 hrs, 15 minutes)
  • Cincinnati (6 hours, 5 minutes)
  • Green Bay (6 hours, 8 minutes)

Mind you, if I suddenly came into possession of a very big boat, then Chicago would be even more local (and I’d be even more bummed about the prospect of rooting for Jay Cutler). Or, if I suddenly learned to fly and stumbled upon my own private plane, Green Bay would actually be closer than Detroit (though tickets to Lions games would still be far easier to acquire).

So if I disappear from blogging and become a bankster anytime soon, you’ll all know it’s not really that I’m an asshole who hates real people, I’m just trying to avoid rooting for Peyton Manning.

In the meantime, some other potentially interesting pre-season games: The ‘Skins discover the joy of an injured McNabb as he sits out their game against the Jets. The Gents go to Baltimore. And two of the best pre-season contests for the QB job–temporarily in Pittsburgh (at least until Big Ben’s next brush with the law) and permanently in Denver–play out in Mile High.

(Hubcap image from liza31337)

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  1. phred says:

    59-24 : )
    Ah, that was a thing of beauty : )

    Let me know if you need me to chip into the kitty for your upcoming home-built ultralight purchase. God knows we can’t have you cheering for Peyton ; )

    • bobschacht says:

      59-24 : )
      Ah, that was a thing of beauty : )

      Yes, it was quite impressive. Last year, I didn’t focus very much on Green Bay, despite its place in my patrimony. I think I’ll be paying a lot more attention this year. Rodgers was quite impressive.

      Another bit of trash to focus on: Matt Leinart.
      Must I say more?

      Bob in AZ

  2. BoxTurtle says:

    GOOOOOOO BROWNS!!!!!!!

    Boxturtle (Got enough grocery bags with eyeholes to last the season, I think)

  3. BoxTurtle says:

    I would not fly an ultralight aircraft any farther from shore than I could swim. We should buy her a sub. Slower, but imagine the offical paranoia she could generate.

    Boxturtle (“That Wheeler female has a WHAT in range of Chicago?” – Rahm)

      • BoxTurtle says:

        True. But a new skirt for one of those starts in the low five figures and heads sharply upward from there.

        OT: For those of you who are single malt fans, I STRONGLY recommend this. Aged in a rum cask rather than sherry or bourbon, it puts the standard Macallans to shame. Placed 4th this year at Fringe. If your’re one of those smokeheads, stay away. There’s no detectable phenol in this at all.

        Boxturtle (And what should we make of the fact that Marcy is already checking routes OUT of her new home?)

        • BoxTurtle says:

          Lucky you! The likker cabinet looks a litte low for the start of the season, want I should send you a shopping list?

          Boxturtle (Or can I trust you to Do What’s Right?)

        • BoxTurtle says:

          Well, that explains the Passport brand in the cabinet.

          Boxturtle ($3.99 a fifth and overpriced at that)

        • skdadl says:

          You’re a little early for the haggis hunt, but they sell some of last year’s catch in tins. Maybe you could drop a few out the window as you sail over our lake?

          (Oh, I wish I could go with you, I wish I wish.)

      • BoxTurtle says:

        Well, if you’re going to be practical, a cessna 172 is always a good choice. Don’t get a 150, unless you and all your friends are on the short side.

        Boxturtle (Or you secretly hate your tall friends)

      • phred says:

        Pity the lake doesn’t freeze over, sled dogs are an excellent way to travel ; )

        Ummm, BoxTurtle, I’m not up on latest details on what subs retail for these days, but I would venture to guess maybe a smidgeon more than a skirt for a raft with fans ; )

        • emptywheel says:

          If only Timmeh Geithner weren’t so fucking incompetent (and house prices hadn’t fallen so far under his watch) I might have a couple of extra tens of thousands to spend on my Lambeau-mobile.

        • phred says:

          my Lambeau-mobile

          Let me guess… that would a decommissioned wiener mobile renovated to look like a brat, with the Packer logo in place of a certain corporate logo, and a Cheesehead perched on top ; )

          Yep. THAT is the only way to travel ; )

          Edited to add: Timmeh Geithner is a shyster and a weasel and you should write him a sternly worded letter demanding he pay back what he owes you. Harummpphhh.

        • BoxTurtle says:

          I doubt he cheated on his taxes. He’s more of the “Change the rules to allow what I want” type.

          Boxturtle (It’s good to be king)

        • BoxTurtle says:

          Who pays retail?

          A luxury sub (yes, they exist) retails for about $10m. It’s designed to be tendered aboard a large yacht. A tourist sub (good for about 4hrs at 300ft or less) can be had for around $100K, and a deep diver for about $500K.

          But this is what you want.And yu don’t need to repace the skirt 2-3 ties yearly. Or more depending on use.

          Remember, we’re spending Marcy’s money here. We should splurge a little, she deserves it.

          Boxturtle (Wintered once in the UP near copper harbor. I recommend a snowcat)

        • freepatriot says:

          since you’re spendin Marcy’s money, maybe you could loan me a few bucks to turn my cable back on

          oh, and you need to refill the likker cabinet

          it ain’t empty yet, but give me a few hours …

          and did I say Mark Fookin Sanchez yet ???

        • freepatriot says:

          I don’t think the party is over in Nawlins yet

          I figure Mr Brees is gonna suffer the effects of the world’s biggest hangover real soon

          an besides, Rex Ryan says “fuck” a lot

          how can ya not root for a guy like that

          the crystal bong says “root for the Jets, win another hub cap”

          we could all save a lot of time if ya jes forwarded the hubcap now …

          (duckin & runnin)

        • phred says:

          Ok, that is cooler than a hovercraft. Still, for winter travel you just can’t beat sled dogs ; )

          And Bob, you need NFL Sunday Ticket. All this living in AZ and HI has clearly distracted you from the really important things in life ; )

        • Mauimom says:

          Aren’t there ANY of these things that have been foreclosed upon, that we can thereby pick up for a song?

      • freepatriot says:

        Remember, I’m going to need a mode of transport that can get me to these sunny pre-season games but–more importantly–to frozen tundra

        once we train these sled dogs to pull a hovercraft we got you covered

        PS, I might wanna borrow the submarine on weekdays, I got some personal supply business issues

      • barrelofmonkeys says:

        If you get any transportation invitations from the Prince family, I know that you will politely decline.

  4. bmaz says:

    Oh, wait, what is this heresy being carried on in teh Trash House? Where we normally speak only with the utmost reverence and respect for the Old Man Geezer?? Jeebus, get busy for a week and squatters exercise eminent domaine over FavreLand. My oh my. I’m speechless.

    But let me say this about that. he ain’t dead yet. Though he is apparently a grandfather now. That’s okay, I remember George Blanda schooling up some whippersnappers when he was about 60 or something. Gotta say, the Pack looks pretty scary, and I don’t think the Geezer’s defense is as good this year and his receiving team is obviously depleted. Could be tough. I predict he will try to suit up and play though……

    Patriots looked scary. offense scary good and defense really scary bad. Seymour, Bruschi etc. those guys may be old, but they were the brain extensions of Bill Bel. He doesn’t have shit right now; only hope is they will grow under the Bill Bel Battle tutelage.

    I think Marcy and Mr. EW would really enjoy the Mistake by the Lake Cleveland. They love kilts in teh Dog Pound! Oh yeah, who is the first game in the Big House this year? I assume Rich Rod didn’t make the mistake of scheduling Appalachain State again……

    And here in the desert, we are back to full on suckitude. Cardinals look to be returning to their once and future destiny of futility and ASU looks to be remaining inexplicably lame. Never been the same since they ran Frank Kush…..

    • BayStateLibrul says:

      Brady needs a haircut… (corte de pelo)

      Welker – MVP

      More running game

      Less 4th and two’s with 2min 45 secs

  5. bobschacht says:

    Saints vs Chargers tonight revealed plenty of good QB work, and not just from the first stringers. Some of the 2nd & 3rd stringers looked better than anything the Cardinals have. Can we make a deal?

    Chargers really fell apart in the last few minutes, however.

    Bob in AZ

  10. Oskie says:

    Also happening this weekend is Spa. The Grand Prix of Belgium. This morning the lone Pole, in his Renault, almost made it on to the front row before Hamilton outpaced him back to starting 3rd. Rubino will be marking his 300th GP start while Schumi, atoning for bad behavior at Hungary, will be starting from 21st on the grid. Not the last row but nearly.

    I very much looking forward to tomorrow’s race as a) it ought to rain and b) it won’t be airing in the middle of the night.

    Wait, must check – will it be on LIVE via Speed? – Yes! – Terrific! – Because I really hate it when Faux shows it hours old and edits out the anthems. Hate that about as much as I hate the Colts.

    Go Pats!

    • bmaz says:

      Yep, Spa could be a very good race this year; lot of factors shaping up for a good run. Surprised Webber got pole and Vettel lagged. Wish Rubens had better equipment…..

    • emptywheel says:

      This is the problem with me stealing bmaz’ job. I can’t do the race circuit stuff. Let’s hope your reminder motivates him to fight for his Trash job back.

      • bmaz says:

        Hey, yer on a roll, Flashinreno just gave you that plane you were looking for! You will get the hang of it quickly; just like driving a car but with a couple more things to pay attention to. Consequences of mistakes are a little greater though…..

  11. bobschacht says:

    Well, the Blago post has rolled into history, so maybe this current trash talk thread is the place for this: NPR this morning has a segment on Chicago as the most corrupt city, and Illinois as the most corrupt state, in the nation.

    If so, and it is commonly conceded that Obama is a product of Illinois politics, then why should we be surprised if the Obama administration appears corrupt? And does it not seem to some of us a tad bit ironic to hear Obama complaining about corruption in the government of Afghanistan?

    I can only hope that Obama and his senior staff have an epiphany, and that they decide to clean up their act.

    Bob in AZ
    P.S. He could start by replacing Timothy Geithner

  12. dipper says:

    “And no killer app or bailed out industry–like battery technology and auto–to give the federal government an excuse to invest.”

    How about burying radioactive shit?

  13. bobschacht says:

    Hey, no noise here about Da Bears vs. the Cardinals tonight.

    Cardinal quarterbacks performed decently, for once, and the Cards defense was even better (until the 4th quarter.) Cards offense bright spots: the running of Tim Hightower (8 carries, 62 yards) and the receiving of Steven Williams (5 REC, 79 YDS, 1 TD). QB’s Anderson, Leinart and Hall all performed well (each got a QB rating >100!) Leinart got the highest rating, and seemed to do better by NOT starting. On the other hand J. Cutler was an embarrassment for Da Bears.

    Bob in AZ

  14. bobschacht says:

    Wha…??
    Broncos whack the Stillers 34-17!
    They got two defensive/special team TDs, but Pitt QBs Rothlisberger & Batch performed better than any of Denver’s QBs, Pitz had more first downs, more total plays, more total yards, more yards per rush. But they also threw more interceptions (3) and had more penalties (11) and penalty yardage (93).

    Denver’s best surprises: Lance Ball, who rushed 10 times for 75 yards, and Matt Willis, who caught 3 passes for 55 Yards. How they won by such a large margin eludes my grasp.

    Bob in AZ