It’s Palin! Because They Couldn’t Get Geraldine Ferraro…

Well, the big news of the morning appears to be that John McCain has picked Palin as his running mate. I see this as a brilliant move; one sure to baffle Democrats and lead to victory for the Republicans in November. Palin is a fantastic writer, and his ribald sense of humor will surely offset the growing tendencies of John McCain to be a total angry, old prick. After witnessing the Obama acceptance spectacular last night, it was darn near impossible to envision what the GOP could do to regain some oxygen and momentum.

Boy, was I wrong. Naming Michael Palin, a founding member of Monty Python’s Flying Circus, as McCain’s running mate was a stroke of genius that is sure to revive a rotting, dying campaign that….

What??? Oh, wait a minute. I am being corrected; it is not Michael Palin, it is Sarah Palin. Well, who the heck is she? Hmmm, Wiki says:

Born in Idaho and raised in Alaska, Palin played point guard on her high school’s basketball team. She was the 1984 runner-up in the Miss Alaska pageant, receiving a scholarship that allowed her to attend the University of Idaho, where she received a degree in journalism. After working as a sports reporter at an Anchorage television station, Palin served two terms on the Wasilla, Alaska, City Council from 1992 to 1996, was elected mayor of Wasilla (population 5,470 in 2000) in 1996, and ran unsuccessfully for Lieutenant Governor in 2002. She was elected Governor of Alaska in 2006.

NPR’s Linda Wertheimer was asked by the host of their coverage for her thoughts. Paraphrasing, she said:

“I can’t think of a VP candidate on either party’s ticket whose resume is so thin and weak. Given that McCain’s health is what it is, he’s said that his VP pick is perhaps more important than most presidential candidates. Given that, I just don’t get this choice.”

Wow. Palin really does have a pretty thin CV for the party that only yesterday was carping about Obama’s lack of experience. It does, however, set up a fantastic campaign slogan:

"Sarah Palin: She Hasn’t Been Indicted Yet!"

Of course, she is from Alaska, so that could change any second now. At least this is a well thought out, carefully planned, choice for McCain that will help him combat Obama’s energy policy. Wait, hold on, I am getting another call (these breaking news stories are tough I tell ya; hard work, hard work). Ooops, it turns out that Ms. Palin just a couple of weeks ago was profusely praising Obama’s energy platform; but worry not my friends, there has been an emergency purge of that fact from her website, apparently last night, so nobody should ever pick up on that little nugget. Except maybe, say, The Politico:

On August 5, she sent out a press release applauding Obama’s embrace of natural gas and his plan to give $1,000 tax rebates to deal with rising energy costs. The link to the press release isn’t working — it looks like it was removed from the site.

Well, as Michael Palin would say, "It’s only a flesh wound!"

Really, Sarah Palin is a wonderful candidate. Perfect for the position. Since she is not blonde, there is at least a 50:50 chance that McCain won’t be trying to nail her on the Straight Cock Talk Express.

In all seriousness, this is a joke. There were only two paths that the Republicans could take to actually try to win the election. They could either try to balance the ticket with some business acumen with Mitt Romney, hoping to lock up Michigan and the Mormon vote in the process, or they could go with the David Broder bipartisan wet dream of McCain-Lieberman and try to make a play for all the centrists on both sides of the party divide. Anything else just is not a credible effort. But with Palin, the GOP doesn’t tarnish any of their alleged leading figures with the potential humiliating disaster brewing for November, and they give some street cred for the future to what they view as their best female rising star. Palin is too young and off the radar to be hurt by even a drubbing in November; if it turns out more positive, or McCain pulls a victory rabbit out of his hat, so much the better.

One thing is for sure; this was not McCain’s pick. Anybody who has watched and known McCain over the years knows that he is an old school boys club type. There is no way in the world McCain, left to his own devices, would pick Sarah Palin. No way. Nope, this is a desperation play and tactical move for the future. The real plan is Petraeus in 2012. That is where the braintrust, such that it may be, is for the Republicans right now.

In the meantime, I will leave you with this strong argument for the strength of Sarah Palin’s bonafides. Heard this on NPR while driving earlier in the morning. I believe (not positive) the discussion point at that moment was how Palin would stack up considering that Obama had named Joe Biden as his VP nominee; the GOP "strategist" fired back to the effect that:

Palin will do great! She was voted Miss Congeniality you know!

That would have been in the 1984 Miss Wasilla contest. Hey! She played the flute too!

In 1984, after winning the Miss Wasilla contest earlier that year, Palin finished second in the Miss Alaska beauty pageant which won her a scholarship to help pay her way through college. In the Wasilla pageant, she played the flute and also won Miss Congeniality.

John McCain – Country First. Uh huh. More like the Geezer and the Tweezer.