Fox Discovers Filipino Monkey

Think Progress watches Fox so I don’t have to–and so bmaz can have some fun.

Today, a week after his call for war with Iran, Brian Kilmeade was forced to concede that the verbal threats made against the U.S. ships are “a possible hoax from a man called the ‘Filipino Monkey.’” Kilmeade’s co-host Gretchen Carlson claimed that she knew it all along. “I remember sitting in my office thinking, you gotta be kidding me? That voice does not sound to me like an Iranian accent.” She didn’t say that on-air, however, prior to this morning.

Kilmeade’s other co-host, Steve Doocy, piped in with this comment:

DOOCY: But can you imagine, had we blown those little boats out of the water to find out, you know, that they didn’t have bombs and in fact it was the Filipino Monkey who was somewhere on shore pulling a prank?

[snip]

Carlson wrapped up the segment by stating, “Let’s hope it’s not the Filipino Monkey, for our sake. Because I think it’s a humongous embarrassment.” 

Um, Gretchen? The simple fact that neither you–nor the Navy, nor the goofballs in the Administration who tried to turn this into World War III–know whether this is Filipino Monkey or not makes it a humongous embarrassment.

Nice to know that the rest of the world is joining us DFHs laughing and crying that Fox and the Administration had this propaganda blow up in their face. 

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20 replies
  1. MadDog says:

    Carlson wrapped up the segment by stating, “Let’s hope it’s not the Filipino Monkey, for our sake. Because I think it’s a humongous embarrassment.”

    Ummmm…Retchen, you really ought to hope it was the Filipino Monkey, ’cause otherwise you’re saying you hoped it would be war.

    I think we’d much rather you and Junya be embarrassed than have lots of Iranians and Americans killed, doncha think Retchen?

  2. merkwurdiglieber says:

    It’s not the 80’s anymore… maybe someone should tell Roger Ailes the
    old Ronnie Raygun bag-o-tricks is past it’s sell by date. Not much
    different from Tonkin Gulf, and for the same purpose, enlarge a war
    and change the news lead for the rest of the year. I am actually a bit
    surprised they didn’t go ahead, there must have been too many electronic witnesses.

  3. maryo2 says:

    Had the US blown those little boats out of the water, the whole incident would now be classified as a national security issue, and we would not know about the little white floating boxes or the voice on the radio.

    WHY do we know about it anyway? If similar incidents happen weekly, then what did the criminals in charge of the White House want to distract us from?

    Who in the US Navy told the public? Who told them to tell the public?

    • Loo Hoo. says:

      It does seem like there are some adults taking charge. The NIE, some possible work done in the DOJ, the torture tapes and their destruction out in the open, and this.

    • merkwurdiglieber says:

      Admiral Mullen has made some remarks about the military situation over
      there that are very different from the WH line, the Navy still has a
      sore ass from LBJ and Tonkin Gulf… he will be forced into retirement
      as a reward for this.

  4. JimWhite says:

    Sorry to admit I crossed paths with Doocy many, many years ago. Somehow, this, like most of his comments, sounds as though he is still very much mired in the late 70’s.

    Gosh, I was hoping for the Fox debut of the Filipino Monkey to be by BillO. As I said yesterday, I was sure his head would explode from the competing thoughts of really, really wanting to say “Filipino Monkey” while knowing that saying it just makes Bush look like the idiot that he is. (Sometimes, however, reliving college level humor can be fun!)

  5. maryo2 says:

    http://www.ipsnews.net/news.asp?idnews=40801

    With the reports from 5th Fleet commander Vice-Adm. Kevin Cosgriff in hand early that morning, top Pentagon officials had all day Sunday, Jan. 6, to discuss what to do about the encounter in the Strait of Hormuz. The result was a decision to play it up as a major incident.

    The decision came just as President George W. Bush was about to leave on a Middle East trip aimed in part at rallying Arab states to join the United States in an anti-Iran coalition.

    That decision in Washington was followed by a news release by the commander of the 5th Fleet on the incident at about 4:00 a.m. Washington time Jan. 7. It was the first time the 5th Fleet had ever issued a news release on an incident with small Iranian boats.

    That press release was ignored by the news media, however, because later that Monday morning, the Pentagon provided correspondents with a very different account of the episode.

    At 9 a.m., Barbara Starr of CNN reported that “military officials” had told her that the Iranian boats had not only carried out “threatening maneuvers”, but had transmitted a message by radio that “I am coming at you” and “you will explode”. She reported the dramatic news that the commander of one boat was “in the process of giving the order to shoot when they moved away”.

    CBS News broadcast a similar story, adding the detail that the Iranian boats “dropped boxes that could have been filled with explosives into the water”. Other news outlets carried almost identical accounts of the incident.

    The source of this spate of stories can now be identified as Bryan Whitman, the top Pentagon official in charge of media relations, who gave a press briefing for Pentagon correspondents that morning. Although Whitman did offer a few remarks on the record, most of the Whitman briefing was off the record, meaning that he could not be cited as the source.

    CBS News broadcast a similar story, adding the detail that the Iranian boats “dropped boxes that could have been filled with explosives into the water”. Other news outlets carried almost identical accounts of the incident.

    The source of this spate of stories can now be identified as Bryan Whitman, the top Pentagon official in charge of media relations

    In an apparent slip-up, however, an Associated Press story that morning cited Whitman as the source for the statement that U.S. ships were about to fire when the Iranian boats turned and moved away — a part of the story that other correspondents had attributed to an unnamed Pentagon official.

    On Jan. 9, the U.S. Navy released excerpts of a video of the incident in which a strange voice

    That was a political decision, and Lt. Col. Mark Ballesteros of the Pentagon’s Public Affairs Office told IPS the decision on what to include in the video was “a collaborative effort of leadership here, the Central Command and Navy leadership in the field.”

    The decision to treat the Jan. 6 incident as evidence of an Iranian threat reveals a chasm between the interests of political officials in Washington and Navy officials in the Gulf. Asked whether the Navy’s reporting of the episode was distorted by Pentagon officials, Cmdr Robertson of 5th Fleet Public Affairs would not comment directly. But she said, “There is a different perspective over there.”

    • merkwurdiglieber says:

      That different perspective is the sore ass I mentioned…Olbermann
      really skewered Mullen for his lame ass pitch of this stunt, he is
      toast.

  6. GregB says:

    Breathless Barbara Starr is always willing to offer a willing ear and a big fat mouth for the latest war mongering efforts by the Pentagon.

    -G

  7. bmaz says:

    Sadly, our country would be in better hands if the Filipino Monkey and Borat were the President and Vice-President instead of Bush and Cheney.

  8. readerOfTeaLeaves says:

    Whoever is pulling this sh*t is magnitudes more stupid than the dumbest of morons. Who knows what they’re sniffing, snorting, or ingesting to be so reckless. Hat’s off to the Navy for keeping a lid on it.

    Can’t somebody sign Junya up with a Second Life account ASAP, so he can play out his aggressive fantasies through 2008 without damaging the planet. (Maybe the Simulacra Laura would even join him once in a while…). As for Sith Lord Cheney, perhaps there’s a grisly, depraved online game that would divert his attention long enough for Fallon, Mullen, and the other White Hats to get a bit more breathing room.

    (NOTE: Anyone interested in an entertaining snapshot of Second Life: http://www.nbc.com/The_Office/video/episodes.shtml — Episode 409: Local Ad.)

  9. bmaz says:

    Back in the good old days, Geraldo would have had a shaky camera crew in front of a Hormuz cave pimping the “exclusive interview” he was about to have with the Filipino Monkey. But the cave would be empty due to the fact that Dan Rather had shanghaid the Filipino Monkey over to the Hormuz Mariner Bar and Grill for the exclusive interview. What has happened to our beloved and trusted media journalists? I’ll bet dollars to donuts that al-Jazeera gets the Monkee scoop. Of course, al-Jazeera probably has nowhere near the level of “team coverage” of events confirming that Britney Spears is, you know, fucked up.

    • readerOfTeaLeaves says:

      Jeez, bmaz – you’re such a meanie.
      Of far more significance was the paternity of some little baby whose mom died… didn’t she leave money or something? So that made the dad insanely wealthy…?

      I say, good for Rather; now, if he can just get someone at the bar to help him with his legal case… heh, heh

  10. Dawgman99 says:

    Also interesting is that ‘Filipino Monkey’ is a term, one that dates back a long time, and refers to pranksters who lurk on a certain international radio frequency. So when these FOX heads talk about a man called The Filipino Monkey, I’m not sure that’s accurate. I don’t think there’s a master spy out there called the Filipino Monkey or the Golden Monkey or the Crimson Monkey or whatever who’s trying to drive us to the brink of war.
    NPR ran an interesting story about this on Monday’s All Things Considered.

  11. bmaz says:

    Gareth Porter reports “How the Pentagon Planted a False Hormuz Story”:

    The initial press stories on the incident, all of which can be traced to a briefing by deputy assistant secretary of defence for public affairs in charge of media operations Bryan Whitman, contained similar information that has since been repudiated by the Navy itself.

    Then the Navy disseminated a short video into which was spliced the audio of a phone call warning that U.S. warships would “explode” in “a few seconds”. Although it was ostensibly a Navy production, IPS has learned that the ultimate decision on its content was made by top officials of the Defence Department.

    A Pentagon consultant who asked not to be identified told IPS that he had spoken with officers who had experienced similar encounters with small Iranian boats throughout the 1990s, and that such incidents are “just not a major threat to the U.S. Navy by any stretch of the imagination”.

    The decision came just as President George W. Bush was about to leave on a Middle East trip aimed in part at rallying Arab states to join the United States in an anti-Iran coalition.

    A separate audio recording of that voice, which came across the VHS channel open to anyone with access to it, was spliced into a video on which the voice apparently could not be heard. That was a political decision, and Lt. Col. Mark Ballesteros of the Pentagon’s Public Affairs Office told IPS the decision on what to include in the video was “a collaborative effort of leadership here, the Central Command and Navy leadership in the field.”

    “Leadership here”, of course, refers to the secretary of defence and other top policymakers at the department. An official in the U.S. Navy Office of Information in Washington, who asked not to be identified because of the sensitivity of the issue, said that decision was made in the office of the secretary of defence.

    The other elements of the story given to Pentagon correspondents were also discredited. The commanding officer of the guided missile cruiser Port Royal, Capt. David Adler, dismissed the Pentagon’s story that he had felt threatened by the dropping of white boxes in the water. Meeting with reporters on Monday, Adler said, “I saw them float by. They didn’t look threatening to me.”

    The decision to treat the Jan. 6 incident as evidence of an Iranian threat reveals a chasm between the interests of political officials in Washington and Navy officials in the Gulf. Asked whether the Navy’s reporting of the episode was distorted by Pentagon officials, Cmdr Robertson of 5th Fleet Public Affairs would not comment directly. But she said, “There is a different perspective over there.”

    Any bets on whether Cheney was involved in this decision?

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