BIG CHEESE AND TUNDRA Mitten and Seminole Trash Talk

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MOVED UP AND FEATURED BITCHEZZ!!! FOR THE OBLITERATION OF TEH BEARZZ.

This ain’t no party, This ain’t no disco. This ain’t no fooling around. We got some big ass state rivalries starting this weekend. Since the Red Sawx Nation has already dispatched all the pretenders in baseball, we are down to football and Grand Prix and, frankly, the F1 Circus is boring right now. Off to football we go!

In the college ranks, ASU has already put a licking on Washington State and USC edged out Oregon State. But the big games of the weekend are in state affairs. First up is the Wolverweenies at Sparty. Michigan is rated higher in the polls, barely, at 21 in the pols to Michigan State’s 22. On paper, however, the Spartans have the better defense and rushing offense. They are a more consistent team and are at home, so Sparty is the pick here.

The other big in state matchup, and real game of the week, is Florida State hosting Miami in Tallahassee. Both teams are in the top 10, numbers 3 and 7 respectively, and both undefeated. But Miami has shown itself to be a little hollow by barely pulling out a win against the very mediocre NC State Wolfpack. FSU has the out of this world freshman QB Jameis Winston, who is like a prototype sized version of Johnny Football. Also good receivers. The Seminoles are the clear pick here. Other games to watch include Nevada versus Fresno State in the late game on ESPNU. Tough rivalry game, but look out for Derek Carr and Fresno, the Bulldogs are pretty good.

In the pros, it is a pretty unexciting slate of games. The best is the MNF clash between the Bears and Packers. Cutler is out and the game is on the Frozen Tundra at Lambeau. Cheese all the way. Sunday night game of Colts at Texans might surprise. Houston has abandoned Matt Schaub in favor of hometown youth Case Keenum. Good move at this point, needed to be done. This game will tell if the Texans are truly dead or not, I think they could upset the Colts, but wouldn’t bet real money on it. Ravens need a win against a tougher than you think Browns squad. They should get it. Steelers are in Foxborough. Will Scribe’s boys take out the Beautiful Brady? Steelers seem to be righting the ship, but this is an awfully tall task. Don’t think so. Plus the Pats got themselves a plug for the injured Vince wilfork by picking up Isaac Sopoaga from the Eagles. Saints at Jets and Bolts at Skins could both be interesting. That’s about it really.

The F1 circus has set up shop in Abu Dhabi. It is a beautiful circuit and a nothing race at this point. Vettel and Red Bull have already won everything. One interesting note, Felipe Massa has been consistently beating Alonso in everything lately. Kind of ugly end to a disappointing season for Ferrari, but good for Felipe, who is truly a nice and hard working guy.

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117 replies
  1. scribe says:

    Stillers @ Patsies? I don’t think the Stillers will be able to pull it off. That said, I have heard that the Gronk is showing more of his delicate nature, this time in a barking hammy. So, Gronk vs. Polamalu should be interesting. The thing is, the Patsies’ offense is stil trying to find itself and they could just as easily have lost half or more of their games because of it. And people are starting to notice Biebs is not as accurate as he used to be and is showing his frustration over it.

    On the Defense, the Patsies are still trying to plug holes in their leaky ship, tearing pieces from one place to fill another. I don’t know whether the Stillers O and particularly the O-line will be able to respectively take advantage of or protect effectively against the Patsies’ D. I think it might depend on Stiller C Pouncey’s state of mind which, if last week is prolog to this week, will depend on the Foxboro area sheriff waiting until after the game to tag him with a grand jury subpoena I/M/O Aaron Hernandez. Such is the price of wearing a “Free Hernandez” hat during the offseason.

    And, yes, I expect the worst face of Boston to be showing itself, several days deep into its cups, in the parking lots at Foxboro. From what I hear, the Bostonians have been drinking like fish, howling like wolves and not shaving since the other night when they sent the Cards home losers. Wacha wacha.

    I’m sure the Bozox fans in the room will be pleased to know they will have at least another year in which they can buy new “Jeter Sucks” (or worse) t-shirts on Yawkey Way. The Yanks and their Captain have inked a 1 year deal for a decent though not extreme sum. I feel for him b/c the rest of the Yankees, 2014 edition, look to be another iteration of “Who Are These Guys?” Shoulda married Jessica Biel…. (You know your life is good when your coulda-woulda-shoulda list includes Jessica Biel.)

    On to the beautiful game, where my Penguins gave the Bruins a good pasting earlier this week. Hockey season is here and the weather is turning in that direction. Me likey. I can’t wait to see what manner of ref-working takes place at Sochi to make sure Malkin joins Sid the Kid with a gold.

    But that will get here soon enough, come February. In the meantime, there’s grouse and pheasant to hunt, work to work, and Thanksgiving and Christmas. I’m already starting to think about my holiday baking….

  2. Jim White says:

    Sadly, I’m thinking the best outcome for the Gators today would be for Georgia to humiliate them so badly that Foley pulls the trigger and fires Muschamp. I see zero chance for this team to improve under him.

  3. scribe says:

    Y’know, BMAz, when you go into “fuck you asshole” mode (as in the current twitter feed – contextually the perfect response BTW), you ought to see whether there’s a way you can get that sequence from the original Terminator where Bad Ah-naldt internally “sees” “Fuck You Asshole” in red letters getting bigger and bigger and more intense as the guy in the next room of the flophouse makes unwanted noise. If you can slip that into your twitter feed, you’d be there.

  4. phred says:

    @scribe: Now scribe, not all of us are sloshing around in celebration… You forget that the playoffs have gotten so late into October, that some of us are celebrating with chocolate : ) In fact, the rain in these parts kept the marauding hordes to a minimum this year and we are ankle deep in bite-sized confections at our house ; )

    I have to admit, I keep catching myself whistling Marley’s “Three Little Birds” and hoping hoping hoping it may one day replace Sweet Caroline (sacrilege, I know ; )

    bmaz, I am glad to see you didn’t overlook the Cheesers this week, and while I always look forward to the Packers-Bears games, after having stayed up way too late for three weeks watching the Sox, I kinda wish the Pack was playing the 1 p.m. Sunday game ; )

  6. bmaz says:

    New England Patriots ‏@Patriots

    “We’ve got some special guests coming to @GilletteStadium tomorrow! Hint: They’re bringing their brand new trophy.”

  14. Jim White says:

    @KellyCDenver: @bmaz: It appears that I have to mount my own defense, as local counsel has gone rogue against me. I may have to report him to the bar. Or I may have to report myself to a bar and join him. Still working that part out.

    So far, I can point out that I voted for Anderson in 1980 and Mondale in 1984, so I can prove that I didn’t vote for Ronald Wilson Reagan, Mr. 666.

  17. emptywheel says:

    Oh hey. Is there trashing going on?

    It’s an odd day here in the Mitten. Saw almost no gear at the Farmer’s this market, spouse didn’t notice any trash talking at work. It’s like there’s not a game, not between 22 and 21, not between 24 and 23, however you measure it.

    It’s creepy.

    Then of course I’ve been negligent here.

    Go Weenies. They had a good first drive, w/Gallon lighting it up.

    Also note, it looks like shit at the game. It’s cool and cloudy here, 1 hour west, but not yicky at all. Must be weather shipped in just for East Lansing.

  22. Bay State Librul says:

    @bmaz:

    Talking about Gillette

    Look sharp, feel sharp?

    David Ortiz, Shane Victorino, and Officer Steve Horgan from Fenway’s bullpen will shave their beards on Monday for charity

  27. scribe says:

    @Bay State Librul: Isn’t he (Horgan/Hogan) the bullpen attendant whose back Karim Garcia and Jeff Nelson decorated with cleat marks after Pedro threw behind Garcia’s head?

    You sure he isn’t going to shave his back to show off the cleat marks and you didn’t get it garbled in the depths of your cups?

  29. JohnT says:

    Besides Miami v FSU, Oklahoma State v Texas Tech should be good, and Pitt v Georgia Tech could be good

    In the pros, this week could be a trap game for the Chefs against the Bills, and the Texans are prolly looking to this game against the Colts as a make or break game

  30. bmaz says:

    @JohnT: Thinking same thing about Houston Indy game.

    Know it is popular to say Wagon Circlers have something for the Chefs, but I am not seeing it.

  31. quebecois says:

    Kimi will start last because of an illegal floor deflection, and fuming because he’s not getting paid. If I were Chilton, i’d get the hell out of the way. I was thinking the same this morning, Massa is doing better than Alonso. I could see and hear Vettel screaming ” Shit, shit, shit” when he saw that Webber had bested him …

  35. Jim White says:

    Sniff.

    Sniff.

    Gators stink it up in the first half, come back to a position to win the game and then piss it away.

    And my “friends” emptywheel, bmaz and KellyCDenver make the baseless and outrageous charge that I’m a Reaganite.

    On my birthday.

  37. Peterr says:

    Gone all day at a big church thing, and come home to find that the Fighting Journalists lost on a last second 49 yard Hail #%@^$! Mary?

    I’ll have a choice few words for Teh Boss in my prayers this evening.

  38. Peterr says:

    @scribe:

    On to the beautiful game, where my Penguins gave the Bruins a good pasting earlier this week.

    Uh, scribe?

    Pele played The Beautiful Game.

    Messi plays The Beautiful Game.

    The Penguins do not, nor do the Bruins.

    Don’t get me wrong — I like hockey,especially my St. Louis Blues. But there is only one Beautiful Game, and it’s not played with sticks.

  39. Peterr says:

    The best football party I ever attended was for the 1985 MNF meeting of Da Bears and the Cheeseheads. It was held by two friends who lived in apartments across the hall from one another, where one guy was a huge Bears fan, and the other was a Cheeseheader beyond belief. The diehards tended to stick in the apartment of their favorite, and those looking for more fun tended to walk back and forth between the two. You could follow the progress of the game by standing in the hall, and listening to the reactions — cheers from one place, and groans from another. Best football party ever.

    Of course, part of that may be because Da Bears walked away the winners.

  40. scribe says:

    @Peterr: You don’t know beauty. Hockey is the Beautiful Game. Soccer, not so much.

    I mean, when you really break it down soccer is just hockey but played on grass by guys in their underwear and sneakers, going about a thousand times slower and not allowed to even touch the other guys, let alone use their hands or carry a potentially lethal weapon. And needing stretchers and oxygen masks to cart them off when someone looks at them the wrong way.

  42. Peterr says:

    @scribe: Oh, scribe.

    Not touch the other guys? Don’t let Franz “The Kaiser” Beckenbauer hear you say that.

    But I never exactly thought of stretchers and oxygen masks as beautiful. Obviously, YMMV.

  50. phred says:

    @Jim White: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIM!

    May it comfort you to know that we voted for the same (sadly losing) Presidential candidates back in the day, even if we don’t see eye to eye on baseball teams ; )

    But heck, that’s what trash talk is for…

    Speaking of which, Peterr, I have a bone to pick with you… Da Bears?!?! How could you… ; ) ‘Course back in ’85 they routinely mopped up the field with the good guys ; ) Go PACKERS!

  51. Peterr says:

    @phred: If you want to pick bones, talk to Mike Singletary. He made opposing QBs quake in their cleats, and encouraged his teammates to take advantage of that fact. All I did was notice his (and his teammates’) efforts.

  52. phred says:

    @Peterr: Oh sure, take Singletary’s side, just go ahead… Just cause he was a great player and a decent human being, you just go right on ahead and cheer for him… Hmph.

    (Psst, don’t tell anyone but there have been a bunch of Bear players I liked, Sweetness, Singletary, heck I even have a soft spot for Butkus, just ummm, keep it under your hat, ok? ; )

  55. CTuttle says:

    @JohnT: this week could be a trap game for the Chefs against the Bills, and the Texans are prolly looking to this game against the Colts as a make or break game

    With my Donkos idle, I’m rooting for the Bills and Texans…! ;-)

  56. Bay State Librul says:

    @scribe:

    a/k/a X-man, Bogey, you know the Sox Phenom, who speaks 4 languages and
    is as cool as an Arubian breeze?

    Not to be confused with Wacha, Wacha, the choker, who got blasted in Game 6

  57. Bay State Librul says:

    After the celebration

    NPR’s Bill Littlefield chimes in

    “Now we know they can win the World Series at home, and we know they can win it against an opponent tenacious enough to hang around for more than four games.

    Back in 2004 we learned they could win in our lifetimes. In 2007 we learned that 2004 wasn’t a fluke.

    It wouldn’t be fair to say that we learned this year that Mr. Potato Head could manage a baseball team better than Bobby Valentine could, but it’s tempting to entertain that possibility. The 2012 debacle wasn’t all Bobby Valentine’s fault any more than 2013 was entirely the work of John Farrell, but you get to be Manager of the Year when you lead a team that finished last to the championship the following season, right?

    All teams endure injuries and disappointments, but only the Red Sox play in the city where two deadly explosions occurred during a tradition-rich sports event this past spring. Did determination to provide Boston with a source of joy despite the sadness and anger provoked by those explosions at the Marathon fuel this season’s Red Sox? You’d have to ask each of the players, I guess, except for David Ortiz, who announced loudly that it effing did.

    It was instructive to see the Red Sox prevail after the misadventure that ended Game 3. Previous Sox teams might have surrendered after the obstruction call, not because it was wrong, which it apparently wasn’t, but because it had happened to them and could not possibly have happened to anybody else. Fans of pre-2004 Red Sox teams would have grabbed the image of that moment and held it as tightly as Gollum, a.k.a. Smeagol, grasped the ring. (“Ah, the Precious is what makes us special and doomed, and special because we’re doomed! The Precious. . .)

    Gone are those days, and good riddance to them say all who always regarded The Curse as hooey.

    They can say that now because Fenway’s gates are shut, and soon the snow will drift against them. There will be no more baseball until February, and then it will be in Florida, and who will remember what anybody said the previous fall?

  58. emptywheel says:

    Wow. First we learn Jim is a Reaganite, then we learn Phred is a Fifth Column “Packers Supporter.”

    Happy Birthday Jim, I hope you made the most of the extra hour you were gifted bc people were being so mean to you.

  60. Jim White says:

    Yay! I do have friends. Thanks for the birthday wishes, folks. It was a very pleasant and quiet birthday, taking it easy at home. (Well, the Gator game wasn’t pleasant, but I knew they would lose going in.)

  61. Peterr says:

    @Peterr: Just saw the video replay of that final play. Grrrrrr. Mrs Dr Peterr, a longtime Husker fan, was also seeing it for the first time, and she was embarrassed. “That’s how we won? OMG.”

    Grumble grumble grumble . . .

  62. Bay State Librul says:

    The Globe’s take

    Brady’s hand job?

    “The Steelers’ won-lost record isn’t what you’d expect, but they’ve been too worthy a foe for the Patriots during the past decade or so to dismiss them. The defense is playing better, shutting out the Raiders in the second half last week, and they’ve allowed the fourth-fewest yards in the league. If Tom Brady’s hand is an issue, the Patriots’ offense could have a tough time getting going, especially if Steven Ridley remains underestimated by his own coaches. But the defense, with Aqib Talib and Tommy Kelly apparently expected to play, should hold down the Steelers’ offense, sending the Patriots into the bye on a positive note.”

  64. Jim White says:

    @emptywheel: Oh, I still have hope. Even ESPN stories are now mentioning that his future is “uncertain”. And since they are now 4-4, they need two more wins to even go to a really bad bowl. Presumably, they can still handle Georgia Southern, but Florida State and South Carolina are sure-fire losses. That leaves next week’s Vandy game (homecoming, no less) as the most likely determinant of whether they go bowling. An ugly loss next week very likely would send him packing.

    And there is now even a Fire Will Muschamp Twitter feed (@fire_muschamp) and it retweeted one of my tweets about firing him.

  67. quebecois says:

    Well, that was a blowout on the part of Vettel, scary good. At least, they showed us a few well fought battles for fifth or thirteen’t place… Ecclestone isn’t betting on a NJ GP this year, I hope this happens one day, that track with the Manhattan background should be quite a show.

  69. Jim White says:

    @JohnT: That all got started late Friday when bmaz commented on how lousy it was that the UCLA Medical Center now carries Reagan’s name. I chimed in to agree, noting I spent three years of my life there doing research in grad school. Marcy then tried to claim that Reagan’s ghost owns my brain and it all went downhill from there.

  77. Jim White says:

    The Bucs have an inexplicable 24-7 lead over Seattle just over halfway through the third quarter. There is just enough time for them to do an epic fold and let Seattle come back. In fact Russell is driving them now. Just got to the ten…

  79. bmaz says:

    So, Nick Foles turned into Dan Marino for the Iggles today. 406 yards, SEVEN TD passes and 0 interceptions. Jesus.

  81. Peterr says:

    @bmaz: Then there are the Bills. 470 years of offense vs 210 for the Chefs. Of course, when you run up a bunch of those yards and then give up a 100 yard pick six, plus an little 11 yard fumble return for a TD, all those yards are rather deceptive.

    But KC sports radio continues to be entertaining. The post-game battle between the “Wooo! 9-0! Super Bowl here we come!” crowd and the “Uh, where’s the offense?” folks it something to behold.

  82. scribe says:

    What’s the difference betwen a sieve and the Stillers’ defense?

    Sieves stop and retain some small percentage of the stuff poured on them.

  85. JohnT says:

    Wait, wut happened to the Stillers?!?

    I was in the sportsbook at Harvey’s Tahoe and the game was tied 24 all, in the 3rd when I left

  86. JohnT says:

    @Peterr:

    But KC sports radio continues to be entertaining. The post-game battle between the “Wooo! 9-0! Super Bowl here we come!” crowd and the “Uh, where’s the offense?” folks it something to behold.

    Get used to it. Sounds like Niners fans when AleX was the QB out here. It might be boring, but in the last three years, all he’s done is win

  87. bmaz says:

    Hey, guess I should have bet real money on the Houston Texans. Wow, Keenum is lighting Indy up.

    Oh shit, Gary Kubiak has collapsed on the field. Crap.

  88. P J Evans says:

    In a different field of sports, there’s a guy in Michigan who claims he told the government where OBL was and should get the reward. He’s apparently some kind of jewelry dealer (he says).
    I wouldn’t bet on his claim being even close to truth.

  90. Bay State Librul says:

    A-Rod, Arbitration, and Allegations.

    The NYT has a “behind the scenes” article today on private dicks, caddies, lawyers, trainers, seamy drug dealers, private dicks, more lawyers and more private dicks.

    Maybe A-Rod will be back with Jeter, and the Yanks can sign Cano for 300M, to ensure a playoff run in 2014.

    No threatening e-mails from Rocket22 though.

  91. scribe says:

    @bmaz: They’ll cook up a mail fraud charge or something to shut him up. I once knew an AUSA who, when defending civil cases (every couple years the attorneys rotated sections in that USA office), would occasionally toss in a False Claims Act counterclaim to liven up personal injury auto acident suits against the government. But only when he “felt” the plantiffs were lying or exaggerating.

  94. Peterr says:

    @bmaz: Chicago Deep Dish Pizzas require a lot of cheese. There are those who claim it was invented after a truly awe-inspiring trashing of the Packers by Da Bears, when an anonymous pizza cook said “I gotta do something with all that shredded Cheese.”

  95. Peterr says:

    But before this gets any farther, respect must be paid to Lambeau Field.

    Any stadium that has parking lots with dedicated firepits where the tailgaters can dump the hot charcoal left in their grills at kickoff has its priorities straight.

  96. Jim White says:

    In my experience, most cheeses that have been frozen (as would happen if left out on the tundra) aren’t worth shit afterwards. Only exception is the block of Pecorino Romano I keep in the freezer to grate onto pizzas and pastas.

  97. bmaz says:

    @Peterr: Say, who EXACTLY is quarterbacking the Bears tonight?

    Did y’all reactivate Bob Avellini or something??

    Cause Avellini was pretty awesome.

    Maybe Mike Tomzak? Rudy Bukich? (Who the fuck was Rudy Bukich anyway???)

  102. Peterr says:

    @bmaz: A Hefeweizen is a nice summer beer (generally served with a slice or wedge of lemon), which might work in Arizona in November, but I’m pretty sure they don’t serve that in Green Bay after August.

    I think I’ll have a Dr. Pepper, in honor of the recent interception.

    *grin*

  103. phred says:

    Woot! I’m breathing again. Still worried about Rodgers though, especially if Wallace keeps mistaking Bears for Packer receivers ; )

  104. bmaz says:

    @phred: Chill baby, our local Bears fan, Padre Peter, can actually spell Heifensnchitzel or whatever the fuck it is I am drinking.

    These brainiac teams never win!

  105. phred says:

    @bmaz: After you’ve had a couple more, you’ll be able to spell it, too ; )

    I’m partial to hefeweizen’s myself, but as the good Reverend has pointed out, it is best quaffed in summer. This is Guinness season ; )

  107. Peterr says:

    @bmaz: The beer list from Oak Creek Brewing Co looks interesting. If I had to guess which one you’d be drinking, it would be the Nut Brown Ale, which they describe like this:

    This northern Arizona favorite has a consistent nutty flavor with just a hint of spice in its depths. A slowly emerging bitterness crops up along the way and is unobtrusively incorporated into the smooth flow. It finishes with a gentle nuttiness and spiciness.

    A slowly emerging bitterness crops up . .
    Gentle nuttiness and spiciness . . .

    Yep, that sounds like a bmaz brew to me.

  110. phred says:

    @bmaz: Keep drinking. Really your spelling will improve ; )

    And it might also have a side benefit of medicinal qualities if Rodgers doesn’t come back…

  112. Peterr says:

    @bmaz: Don’t do brown beer? You don’t know what you’re missing.

    Would you drink it in a house?
    Would you drink it with a mouse?
    Would you drink it at a game?
    Would you drink it with a dame?
    Would you drink it with string cheese?
    Would you drink it, pretty please?

    Try it, try it, and you might
    find that it goes down just right.

  113. Peterr says:

    @phred: I have found that my German improves after a couple of beers. Something to do with triggering the memories of my time as an exchange student in Germany many years ago.

  114. phred says:

    Woot!!! Complete pass! (Gotta take my victories where I can find ’em ; )

    (Love the Seuss, Peterr… Still waiting for bmaz to rant back “You let me be!” ; )

  115. phred says:

    Well, the Pack will have to muddle through without me. After weeks of late nights due to the baseball playoffs and an early day tomorrow, I’m going to turn in.

    Peterr, take it as read that you have my congratulations should things continue on in the 2nd as they have in the 1st half ; )

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